On March 31, my Mom passed away due to complications of outpatient surgery to put a catheter in her chest for dialysis.
I'm completely a wreck and have been crying on and off all day. I loved her and I was so dumbfounded when my dad came home and told me it wasn't looking good because she blue lined and the catheter had damaged her heart. A half our later we got a call that said that, "She didn't make it."

I miss her so much already. It really hurts to even think about it, how she'll never get to see her son and daughter marry, have grandchildren, and start a life. I really want the pain to go away, but that would involve forgetting how happy she made me feel, how she comforted me when I was insecure, how she would help me make big decisions. I don't want to forget.

The only consolations are that her pain is now ended and she's with her parents again.

I have no idea what the next step is for me to take. We're probably going to schedule a funeral/service within the coming days or weeks.

I can't believe she's gone. It's been making me physically.

Goodbye Mom, I hope you achieve your eternal happiness in the kingdom of God.
I'll try to make you proud in my life, so I hope you're watching.