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New York City (Remember This!)
18 years ago
General
My gods what a view...
I'm sitting at my grandfather's computer. He's still in the hospital, but we just got back from visiting him... He looks so frail, I'm almost afraid he'll break... I guess that's just what happens when someone lives for so long. He's 87 years old, an ex-smoker and drinker. I suppose it's a miracle that he's made it even this long. I'm glad I'm getting to see him again this week...
I got to see my parents too. Mom and Dad haven't changed at all. Mom is still all afuss every second like a bumblebee on coke, obsessing over every little unimportant detail, successfully bogging down the simple beauties of life with overreaction, and Dad is still quiet, easygoing, and completely immune to her XD
I got here by plane yesterday. I wish I could have wrote down an update then. Every trip I've taken has been an experience. I really do get something special out of traveling after all. On the plane, I mused that it's moments like this, gazing out a window at 32,000 feet, that one most vividly realizes that "God" did one heck of a spiffy job. I have to respect the grand architect, aligning happenstance as he did to create such perfection. Yeah... That's what the creator is to me. An architect. S/He can be something or someone completely different to you, but for me, an architect fits.
Also, to commemorate my journey, I bought a tiny five dollar bottle of wine while I flew... White wine. Sutter home chardonay. It was nice, for the occasion. But just for the hell of it, feeling the buzz (I'm the heaviest lightweight you'll ever see, mmhmm!), I decided to recite the alphabet backwards, and did so without fault. Heh. Figures, doesn't it. As stated, the view from grampa's apartment is absolutely fantastic. Sure right now I can only see other residential highrises, but it's still an amazing testiment to human ingenuity, here on the 14th floor... Another funny thing is, this building actually has a 13th floor, and we're simply not on it.
I also met grampa's roommate. A korean girl attending school here in new york... Grampa, like me, goes by a different name among his friends, so she calls him "Jan", like everybody else. It's so wierd hearing people call me 'Matt'... I'm much more used to Stone, Stoney, etc. But, back on track, good gods is she cute as hell. Gena, she was introduced to me as. That's JI NA in pronunciation. I think I have an unhealthy obsession with eastern women >.>; she has a boyfriend though, so I'm comfortable with not thinking of her in untoward ways.
I ran into my cousin Sam, here, as well! Sam has always been a 'cool guy' in my opinion, and it was great to see him. I could swear he's going to be famous someday. Right now he's a student teacher at the Columbian University--just a few blocks from where I sit!
I've done so much lately... this past month, I have been living so much MORE than I did before. I am shocked, surprised, thrilled, even a little frightened by just now much I've been able to do. Today, I'm not entirely sure what I want to see. I am torn between waiting for my worrywort mother to get back from making sure Pop catches his train, or just leaving her behind so I don't have to listen to her all day.
I don't like what I have discovered, but that doesn't change the fact that it is there: I can see the root of all my bad habits from observing my mother...
She tried so hard to raise me 'right', and I really can't blame her, but it's still right in front of me...
I'm lethargic because she dumps more energy into preparing for something than DOING it. She will fuss for thirty minutes over a fifteen minute task before she starts it. In the mean time, i'm done, or i'm ready to go and just waiting. it's simply maddening. The only thing that ever got in the way of me doing something was the feeling like there are other things I need to do FIRST. even when there really aren't any things I need to do first! In her case, she manufactures something to do. She unfortunately has no capacity to make an immediate decision. Last night when we got chinese food downstairs (there's a cute little chinese restaraunt on Amsterdam Avenue and 123rd Street) it took her seventeen minutes to choose what to eat, and we only spent five minutes eating it. I swear, if I could just remember this one lesson--
*tags the journal "REMEMBER THIS"*
--I would do so much better in life:
Interpretation 1: STOP TRYING TO DO IT AND JUST DO IT.
Interpretation 2: If it won't irreversably harm you, it's better to do something and regret it than to not do something and regret not doing it.
Interpretation 3: If the forest is overwhelming, focus on one tree at a time.
I guess what I'm trying to tell my troubled future self is...
"Stone, if you are feeling paralyzed, consider that you may be hesitating. Regardless of if you are or not, BRIEFLY consider the drawbacks of GO and the drawbacks of NEVER GO. DO or DIE. Because you have to do something, you have to make a decision, you cannot waste any more time, because it's getting in the way of your entire life. And you can't go back. Don't even try. If you make a choice, be satisfied with that choice no matter what happens."
Because I know someday I'm going to look back on this time of my life and wonder how I could possibly be so happy. I am so happy right now... and because I know I'll look back should I ever no longer be happy, at least I'll have a roadmap, a marker, a plan.
And that's all the preparation I care to do right now.
I'm not sure what I want to do today. I'm here until the 22nd. Any furries in the new york area, around 123rd and Amsterdam? ^^
I might want to see china town, or go to battery park, or ride the subway to 'somewhere'. I brought the necessary resources just for this. Maybe I'll take the staten island ferry, or go to ellis island...? Or maybe I'll just cruise through downtown on a bus or taxi, destination: we'll see!
Well, I won't know until I'm there ~_^
Safe journeys!
I'm sitting at my grandfather's computer. He's still in the hospital, but we just got back from visiting him... He looks so frail, I'm almost afraid he'll break... I guess that's just what happens when someone lives for so long. He's 87 years old, an ex-smoker and drinker. I suppose it's a miracle that he's made it even this long. I'm glad I'm getting to see him again this week...
I got to see my parents too. Mom and Dad haven't changed at all. Mom is still all afuss every second like a bumblebee on coke, obsessing over every little unimportant detail, successfully bogging down the simple beauties of life with overreaction, and Dad is still quiet, easygoing, and completely immune to her XD
I got here by plane yesterday. I wish I could have wrote down an update then. Every trip I've taken has been an experience. I really do get something special out of traveling after all. On the plane, I mused that it's moments like this, gazing out a window at 32,000 feet, that one most vividly realizes that "God" did one heck of a spiffy job. I have to respect the grand architect, aligning happenstance as he did to create such perfection. Yeah... That's what the creator is to me. An architect. S/He can be something or someone completely different to you, but for me, an architect fits.
Also, to commemorate my journey, I bought a tiny five dollar bottle of wine while I flew... White wine. Sutter home chardonay. It was nice, for the occasion. But just for the hell of it, feeling the buzz (I'm the heaviest lightweight you'll ever see, mmhmm!), I decided to recite the alphabet backwards, and did so without fault. Heh. Figures, doesn't it. As stated, the view from grampa's apartment is absolutely fantastic. Sure right now I can only see other residential highrises, but it's still an amazing testiment to human ingenuity, here on the 14th floor... Another funny thing is, this building actually has a 13th floor, and we're simply not on it.
I also met grampa's roommate. A korean girl attending school here in new york... Grampa, like me, goes by a different name among his friends, so she calls him "Jan", like everybody else. It's so wierd hearing people call me 'Matt'... I'm much more used to Stone, Stoney, etc. But, back on track, good gods is she cute as hell. Gena, she was introduced to me as. That's JI NA in pronunciation. I think I have an unhealthy obsession with eastern women >.>; she has a boyfriend though, so I'm comfortable with not thinking of her in untoward ways.
I ran into my cousin Sam, here, as well! Sam has always been a 'cool guy' in my opinion, and it was great to see him. I could swear he's going to be famous someday. Right now he's a student teacher at the Columbian University--just a few blocks from where I sit!
I've done so much lately... this past month, I have been living so much MORE than I did before. I am shocked, surprised, thrilled, even a little frightened by just now much I've been able to do. Today, I'm not entirely sure what I want to see. I am torn between waiting for my worrywort mother to get back from making sure Pop catches his train, or just leaving her behind so I don't have to listen to her all day.
I don't like what I have discovered, but that doesn't change the fact that it is there: I can see the root of all my bad habits from observing my mother...
She tried so hard to raise me 'right', and I really can't blame her, but it's still right in front of me...
I'm lethargic because she dumps more energy into preparing for something than DOING it. She will fuss for thirty minutes over a fifteen minute task before she starts it. In the mean time, i'm done, or i'm ready to go and just waiting. it's simply maddening. The only thing that ever got in the way of me doing something was the feeling like there are other things I need to do FIRST. even when there really aren't any things I need to do first! In her case, she manufactures something to do. She unfortunately has no capacity to make an immediate decision. Last night when we got chinese food downstairs (there's a cute little chinese restaraunt on Amsterdam Avenue and 123rd Street) it took her seventeen minutes to choose what to eat, and we only spent five minutes eating it. I swear, if I could just remember this one lesson--
*tags the journal "REMEMBER THIS"*
--I would do so much better in life:
Interpretation 1: STOP TRYING TO DO IT AND JUST DO IT.
Interpretation 2: If it won't irreversably harm you, it's better to do something and regret it than to not do something and regret not doing it.
Interpretation 3: If the forest is overwhelming, focus on one tree at a time.
I guess what I'm trying to tell my troubled future self is...
"Stone, if you are feeling paralyzed, consider that you may be hesitating. Regardless of if you are or not, BRIEFLY consider the drawbacks of GO and the drawbacks of NEVER GO. DO or DIE. Because you have to do something, you have to make a decision, you cannot waste any more time, because it's getting in the way of your entire life. And you can't go back. Don't even try. If you make a choice, be satisfied with that choice no matter what happens."
Because I know someday I'm going to look back on this time of my life and wonder how I could possibly be so happy. I am so happy right now... and because I know I'll look back should I ever no longer be happy, at least I'll have a roadmap, a marker, a plan.
And that's all the preparation I care to do right now.
I'm not sure what I want to do today. I'm here until the 22nd. Any furries in the new york area, around 123rd and Amsterdam? ^^
I might want to see china town, or go to battery park, or ride the subway to 'somewhere'. I brought the necessary resources just for this. Maybe I'll take the staten island ferry, or go to ellis island...? Or maybe I'll just cruise through downtown on a bus or taxi, destination: we'll see!
Well, I won't know until I'm there ~_^
Safe journeys!
Bring back pictures or.. something.
A story or two?
Just don't get mugged, don't look like a tourist.. and.. well.
Enjoy yourself to the fullest.
-.o I don't think I could ever go to New York, New York..
All the traffic.. buildings.. noise.. I think I'd prolly pass out.