I might as well come right out and say this one...My father has cancer. I actually got the call that informed me of this on my birthday, of all days, but I've never been all that open about it until now. The rest of my family is telling me to go see him, and to be honest, I want to. Even though he never accepted the fact that he had a daughter until late last year, even though it took a rumor that I killed myself for him to do that much, he is still half of the reason I exist.

Problem is, I can't drop my entire life to get to him. He lives over an hour drive from my place, so I can't exactly walk there. And with a vehicle in repair, I can't drive there, either. So I either get a ride from another family member, or I can't go there. They refuse to do this, and in the next breath, tell me I'm a horrible, selfish person for not going.

And then there's the phone calls. Gah, the phone calls! My older brothers will call me at random, and it freaks me the hell out every time, because I think that's going to be THE CALL. But then it turns out that they just want to give me a speech about how they're so great and I'm so bad and I should feel bad and so on. And I have to remember not to answer "What are you doing right now?" with "Hanging out with friends", because they'll always translate that to "I'm not at work, so you can talk at me as long as you want." Since, you know, I'm incapable of actually making friends, so I must be sitting alone with my imaginary friends or something.

Really, though...I feel horrible that I haven't been able to visit my father since he was diagnosed. I want to, a lot. But I don't need daily reminders that I haven't done so yet, and I'm a bad daughter for neglecting said visits.

Speaking of family obligations, my sister gets married on the 30th of this month. Thankfully, this is the sister that I can actually tolerate. The sister I don't speak to (and would rather never speak to if I can help it) is already married. I decided it was better to just go to the wedding and avoid all the drama that would come out of refusing to go. So I'm going out of my way to request off work, get some nice clothes that coordinate with her ultra-super-special color scheme, and even deal with being within the same building as BitchSister for a few hours.

So my mother's going on one of her daily ramblings on the wedding, and how it'll be so awesome, and my sister's so awesome, etc. And then she drops it on me that my sister arranged the seating so that I'm not sitting with the family.

"Why?" I ask.

"Because you don't get along with [BitchSister], and you're not participating in the wedding, anyway." was her response.

Confused, I ask "But didn't you have a whole thing about how I had to go because I'm family?"

Her "logic": "Yeah, but you're not part of the wedding, so you're seperate from the family."

*EyerollFacepalmHeaddesk*

I really wonder how much of my stress is actually worth stuff like this...

~Kyetsu