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Two random thoughts before I go to bed.
14 years ago
1)
Most furry musicians I've noticed write primarily electronic music. While I've written an entire electronic album (and enjoyed it quite immensely) I dont really consider myself a composer of that primary style. To be honest, I really struggled with the Time soundtrack.
I've always considered myself a classical composer. I can take woodwinds and strings and create something wonderful from it that I cannot do with a square synth. It just sometimes saddens me that the style of music that I am most comfortable composing in is not exactly the style of music that the furry fandom is open to listening to (in comparison with electronic styles that is.)
Regardless of this, I still continue to compose in the classical style. And I'm hoping one day more people notice that furry composers can do more than just drop a sick beat or create some really respectable dubstep. We can create music that would enhance fim and tv. We can take a story and write a sonata that compliments it. I want to be at the forefront of that, and I don't know how to really do that other than what I'm doing, which is just writing and sharing.
I just feel like I'm missing something. I dunno. Maybe I'm just stupid.
2)
I tend to put up huge walls when it comes to establishing relationships past the good friend area. I've had opportunities to pursue romantic relationships, but its like a defense mechanism auto activates and I competely shut myself off to that person until they've moved on. Thats not normal, and I want to remedy that, but I wouldn't even know the first steps to take. I used to argue with a roommate all the time because I told him I was content with being single, and he would always say "you're content because you've never experience being loved and you don't know how wonderful it is." I used to tell him he was stupid. I was a realist and he was a dreamer, so while we got along, we always has personality conflicts like that.
I'm starting to wonder if he was right. Have I gotten so used to being on my own that I'm completely missing out on this whole other part of life?
Hm.
This rare serious moment from the bunny is brought to you by the letter Y and the numbers 8 and 1.
---
another random note, next song for the Mock RPG soundtrack # 2 (unofficial name) is about halfway done. Working title is "The Innkeeper and his Daughter". I'm loving it :3 BIG FAT STRINGS CHORDS :D
Most furry musicians I've noticed write primarily electronic music. While I've written an entire electronic album (and enjoyed it quite immensely) I dont really consider myself a composer of that primary style. To be honest, I really struggled with the Time soundtrack.
I've always considered myself a classical composer. I can take woodwinds and strings and create something wonderful from it that I cannot do with a square synth. It just sometimes saddens me that the style of music that I am most comfortable composing in is not exactly the style of music that the furry fandom is open to listening to (in comparison with electronic styles that is.)
Regardless of this, I still continue to compose in the classical style. And I'm hoping one day more people notice that furry composers can do more than just drop a sick beat or create some really respectable dubstep. We can create music that would enhance fim and tv. We can take a story and write a sonata that compliments it. I want to be at the forefront of that, and I don't know how to really do that other than what I'm doing, which is just writing and sharing.
I just feel like I'm missing something. I dunno. Maybe I'm just stupid.
2)
I tend to put up huge walls when it comes to establishing relationships past the good friend area. I've had opportunities to pursue romantic relationships, but its like a defense mechanism auto activates and I competely shut myself off to that person until they've moved on. Thats not normal, and I want to remedy that, but I wouldn't even know the first steps to take. I used to argue with a roommate all the time because I told him I was content with being single, and he would always say "you're content because you've never experience being loved and you don't know how wonderful it is." I used to tell him he was stupid. I was a realist and he was a dreamer, so while we got along, we always has personality conflicts like that.
I'm starting to wonder if he was right. Have I gotten so used to being on my own that I'm completely missing out on this whole other part of life?
Hm.
This rare serious moment from the bunny is brought to you by the letter Y and the numbers 8 and 1.
---
another random note, next song for the Mock RPG soundtrack # 2 (unofficial name) is about halfway done. Working title is "The Innkeeper and his Daughter". I'm loving it :3 BIG FAT STRINGS CHORDS :D
As for your second issue, im convinced there is someone for everyone. You will find the right person. *hugs* not the best advice but im not very good at this... :)
But you got the right mindset. Despite the seeming popularity of one time amongst the group, you're still fullfilling your desire to continue creating the other, and there is nothing wrong with that. You gotta go with what you want, what you love. What your heart wants to share and your mind wants to create.
Ohhh relationships. Tis a topic that gets kinda old, but that's only cause I've talked about it with alot of people over years and years. Everyone has advice on it, good, bad, inbetween. In the end, you take what you feel is best and go with the flow, or however you want to go about it.
My take on it has been the same for a long, long time now.
Too many people...waaaay to many actually, spend way too much time searching, desperately at times. It's kinda sad. Rather cliche in furry too, but we seem to be emotional beings, x 1,000,000:P. I kind of get irked at the "searchers" who put way to much criteria into what they think they're looking for. "I'm looking for a guy between these ages, or this size, or this or that, or trivial drivel this and silly-sadass bullshit that". Drives me nuts! They're soo goddamn fixated on BS and on what they "think" they want, that they end up pushing away soo many potentials, it's really sad.
God, I got over all that "this/that" bullshit when I was in my late teens, like 18-19. I left it up to the simple areas of mutual attraction, both mental and physical. Really, if the mental can happen first, that's a huge plus, cause then all or any of that trivial physical bs seems just that, Trivial. Meaningless. You fall in love with the person, and everything else is a bonus at best. Least if you're looking for true, unconditional lovey dovey-ness..
I mean if all someone is looking for is a fuck buddy or a real good friend but also with 'benefits', that's all good too. I don't care, I'm cool with it. IF it's mutual and no one's getting hurt..then what two consenting adults do is up to them you know? No more, no less.
But back to the whole "luuurve" thing. Yea, shits' complicated. But as I was saying, and I do digress:P, don't waste your time searching so much. A little is one thing, but desperately, constantly, and getting hardcore emo about it? Get outta here with that! If it's meant to be, then that person will come along eventually. And if it's not meant to be, then it's not. Whatever happens, happens. In the meantime, go about your life, and cherish the genuine friendships and connections you'll make along the way. Chances are, in time, one of those could very well become one of those Loves. Even if only for a time.
Love is one of, if not the ultimate paradox man. So much good, so much uplifting energy to the spirit mind and body. Indescribable sometimes. And yet on the same coin, it can so easily be the worst thing to occur (when it goes bad), and be one of the most painful things to lose or be hurt by. I've gone through it all, and real life, not just 'online'. Not trying to delegitamize on-line relationships, but lets be realistic here, there's a bit of a difference once one meshes into the other, if it gets the chance. I.E., just online, to real life, face to face, etc. Such can make or break a relationship then and there. Partly why so many on-line ones go bad, as people get way to involved and deep, before they've had a chance to be with one another in person. Gotta give it a little wiggle room and try not to jump to conclusions till you get that one one one.
Inevitably it's going to vary from individual to individual, on how things start, on how they'll connect or not with other potential Loves. Me, funny thing is, the ones I had/have, I wasn't looking for. Both times my mind-set was, "I'm not looking, but if it happens, it happens, if not, no biggie". And poof, they'd just happen:P. And even if you play the "I don't want one I'm gonna be alone forever" card, it doesn't matter. It'll sneak its way into your life and you'll fall for someone or vice versa!
I think Toba is right. There's someone out there for just about everyone. Even if they don't think it or eeeeven if they say they don't want it. So yea, live life best you can, as happy as you can, and the rest will fall into place, eventually. < / bigass reply>
Regardless of this, I still continue to compose in the classical style. And I'm hoping one day more people notice that furry composers can do more than just drop a sick beat or create some really respectable dubstep. We can create music that would enhance fim and tv. We can take a story and write a sonata that compliments it. I want to be at the forefront of that, and I don't know how to really do that other than what I'm doing, which is just writing and sharing.
I just feel like I'm missing something. I dunno. Maybe I'm just stupid.
Honestly, I don't know what to do different either, but whatever you are doing is working for those of us who've found our way to your page. ♥
Myself, I'm not a fan of techno /at all/. I can't be the only one, though. There'll be more. :3