I don't usually go on about my depression, its real depressing, but no one reads this stuff anyways, hee hee. So I'm usually happy, but for some reason, some things just started to suck. Relationship wise, friendship wise, feeling accomplished wise, education too, it just hurt trying to look back or forward. I'm young, thats a given, but even for a young person it feels like everything I worked for went down the drain or never even got started on.

Today, I felt like sleeping, I didn't mean just taking a nap either, I mean sleeping the whole day away. I never feel like that, and honestly I used to be so bad that I would black out randomly in rage or depression to calm down in my own little world. This new feeling though, such a docile and idle feeling of almost claustrophobia is unlike anything I felt before, and I can't just black this out. Its an awfull feeling and I hate it, and I can't escape it. I want help, but no one is willing to take hints but my mom. I guess my putting this journal up is a way to vent, and it helps, but.... I don't know... I just need someone to help...

Maybe scary movies will help.