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individuality master update
14 years ago
huh. my first course of journals and they are about the part of philosophy any philosopher I got to know so far would at least somewhat freak out about. careful!
UPDATE
so what I wrote in my last journal is old now and prolly just interesting to meee
New try xD Im sometimes sloppy, cus Im often in my own world. There Im careful. Sometimes I feel like my thoughts are my actual body. Lets say there are astounding parallels. So Im naïve in certain (real ;)) things. I think Im still decicive. I wanna grow and it seems the first best step is to ask for help. But so I don’t ONLY have to spoonfeed myself with my own pride because Id rather learn it myself, I wanna do it right, so Ill be exploring at least:
Lets see- trying to def which basic capability needs what kinda person:
intuition = mentor; strategy = master; tech/education = ~ teacher; communication = guide?
( Id say teacher leans more towards master and guide more to mentor, whereas a mentor respects individuality more and a master less, but that’s blunt. Details at the bottom )
Judging from that, I search...
...guide: im playful here so ill do but hell if id dispense shoves ;)
...Teacher: books, internet, (organization, sense,) strategy, intuition,
I think operationalization is organized through this, somehow, meaning:
practically, to monitor, and theoretically, to prove stuff (justification,legitimization,…)
...master: I need somebody who reminds me on what bodily/real fear is, nobody ever managed to make me go “D:” for real, so I feel somewhat impotent there (naivitee). And theres the first problem: most masters ive seen so far just call “that attitude” (WHICH attitude for crying out loud :|) pathetic, and acting out your conviction is per se pathetic?! No questions asked?!! Winning in chess doesn’t make you a winner. Brutality isn’t efficiency. If at all efficiency is the better brutality, that far I can go, but that’s still … arrogant, its still … not to the point. Good strategy exists solemnly to outdate itself. Through sense. Ignoring that makes you an idiot, and idiots are only good strategizers through luck or good friends or so. At least that’s the tendency. Hrmpf. Yeah well xD
...mentor: cruxes if you’ve been there, pointers if you’ve been near. I have a pragmatical and an ideological motivation to grow (as everybody?), both have in common that I wanna challenge myself. Timing of education/effective study path/career planning. classic example.
from master to mentor, and now, career is right back at discipline, so back to master. seems so much yingyang. The greatest challenge seems to be fidning/recognizing someone who can keep up with that, and wants to give those abilities away then. Okay, they don’t grow on trees I guess, that might be the simple trick. So I gotta look. But Ill still keep thinking too. (grr)
loud thoughts to self:
most psychologist would get defensive about it but I think autism is about "realising brutality without intending to succumbing the least to it", a symptom would be the downright senselessness of speech, for example. completely ignoring people can work wonders for everybody =p ( got that from simplify your life actually, haha, I just didnt allow myself to think about such cruel ideas with like 15) so I was very interested in GITS season 1, and Im gonna get “catcher in the reye” since I keep hearing about it. And theres this study about games I got from a profs private stash (ha!) but that is obviously all theoretical still. Am I supposed to tie myself up myself??! This is just what I mean with mindnumbing slow >< and is -that- pathetic? do I just have to watch those old fighting sports movies to get what strength is all about? I mean the honor thing sounds like a good direction....... Well I knew I have to at least seriously try it for some time.. healthy body healthy mind n such.
- - - - - -
And now the details
Very roughly, for me, now, there is
two categories (main and aux)
with respectively two classes (intuition vs strategy) and (tech/education with/besides intermediation)
__main: confrontation, use (short term?)
-intuition:
building future, awe, curiosity, sense
-strategy:
defense (in abstract: colateral dmg = the future (diverts ressources)). Basic concepts are: the enemy, anger, time, structure, proof/truth, (always was "obvious" to me and without) doubt, I, incap-/ability = low/ confidence
both seem to have typical steps of degradation (I like the table in which those words "play" everyday for me, its gonna be an outragous mnemo technique as well xD). none have to be conscious per se. strategy is pointless without sense, it has to outdate itself (corruption is the method of investment, so if its failed or tied up..).
For laters, (I find interesting that neurological complexes seem to act like psychological ones, obsessive thought for example. Isn’t it strange how easy it is to make a decoy for a baby or a narcissist? Up-bringing through wits? Ultimately, obsessive thoughts of nations/ideologies/lalala)
__Aux: stock, processing (long term?)
category II auxiliary: observation/prepping (I think putting them in extra columns just helps keeping overview, for creating methods and testing empirics and that careful lot)
-technology, education: engineering/equipment, discurse/research
with/besides (mostly)
-intermediation: communication, education; sense, sociology/anthropology, rhetorics, misunderstandings, "knowing your audience", rationalization, clichees, lies, dialectics, propaganda (thats rough and incomplete but pretty much in order)
UPDATE
so what I wrote in my last journal is old now and prolly just interesting to meee
New try xD Im sometimes sloppy, cus Im often in my own world. There Im careful. Sometimes I feel like my thoughts are my actual body. Lets say there are astounding parallels. So Im naïve in certain (real ;)) things. I think Im still decicive. I wanna grow and it seems the first best step is to ask for help. But so I don’t ONLY have to spoonfeed myself with my own pride because Id rather learn it myself, I wanna do it right, so Ill be exploring at least:
Lets see- trying to def which basic capability needs what kinda person:
intuition = mentor; strategy = master; tech/education = ~ teacher; communication = guide?
( Id say teacher leans more towards master and guide more to mentor, whereas a mentor respects individuality more and a master less, but that’s blunt. Details at the bottom )
Judging from that, I search...
...guide: im playful here so ill do but hell if id dispense shoves ;)
...Teacher: books, internet, (organization, sense,) strategy, intuition,
I think operationalization is organized through this, somehow, meaning:
practically, to monitor, and theoretically, to prove stuff (justification,legitimization,…)
...master: I need somebody who reminds me on what bodily/real fear is, nobody ever managed to make me go “D:” for real, so I feel somewhat impotent there (naivitee). And theres the first problem: most masters ive seen so far just call “that attitude” (WHICH attitude for crying out loud :|) pathetic, and acting out your conviction is per se pathetic?! No questions asked?!! Winning in chess doesn’t make you a winner. Brutality isn’t efficiency. If at all efficiency is the better brutality, that far I can go, but that’s still … arrogant, its still … not to the point. Good strategy exists solemnly to outdate itself. Through sense. Ignoring that makes you an idiot, and idiots are only good strategizers through luck or good friends or so. At least that’s the tendency. Hrmpf. Yeah well xD
...mentor: cruxes if you’ve been there, pointers if you’ve been near. I have a pragmatical and an ideological motivation to grow (as everybody?), both have in common that I wanna challenge myself. Timing of education/effective study path/career planning. classic example.
from master to mentor, and now, career is right back at discipline, so back to master. seems so much yingyang. The greatest challenge seems to be fidning/recognizing someone who can keep up with that, and wants to give those abilities away then. Okay, they don’t grow on trees I guess, that might be the simple trick. So I gotta look. But Ill still keep thinking too. (grr)
loud thoughts to self:
most psychologist would get defensive about it but I think autism is about "realising brutality without intending to succumbing the least to it", a symptom would be the downright senselessness of speech, for example. completely ignoring people can work wonders for everybody =p ( got that from simplify your life actually, haha, I just didnt allow myself to think about such cruel ideas with like 15) so I was very interested in GITS season 1, and Im gonna get “catcher in the reye” since I keep hearing about it. And theres this study about games I got from a profs private stash (ha!) but that is obviously all theoretical still. Am I supposed to tie myself up myself??! This is just what I mean with mindnumbing slow >< and is -that- pathetic? do I just have to watch those old fighting sports movies to get what strength is all about? I mean the honor thing sounds like a good direction....... Well I knew I have to at least seriously try it for some time.. healthy body healthy mind n such.
- - - - - -
And now the details
Very roughly, for me, now, there is
two categories (main and aux)
with respectively two classes (intuition vs strategy) and (tech/education with/besides intermediation)
__main: confrontation, use (short term?)
-intuition:
building future, awe, curiosity, sense
-strategy:
defense (in abstract: colateral dmg = the future (diverts ressources)). Basic concepts are: the enemy, anger, time, structure, proof/truth, (always was "obvious" to me and without) doubt, I, incap-/ability = low/ confidence
both seem to have typical steps of degradation (I like the table in which those words "play" everyday for me, its gonna be an outragous mnemo technique as well xD). none have to be conscious per se. strategy is pointless without sense, it has to outdate itself (corruption is the method of investment, so if its failed or tied up..).
For laters, (I find interesting that neurological complexes seem to act like psychological ones, obsessive thought for example. Isn’t it strange how easy it is to make a decoy for a baby or a narcissist? Up-bringing through wits? Ultimately, obsessive thoughts of nations/ideologies/lalala)
__Aux: stock, processing (long term?)
category II auxiliary: observation/prepping (I think putting them in extra columns just helps keeping overview, for creating methods and testing empirics and that careful lot)
-technology, education: engineering/equipment, discurse/research
with/besides (mostly)
-intermediation: communication, education; sense, sociology/anthropology, rhetorics, misunderstandings, "knowing your audience", rationalization, clichees, lies, dialectics, propaganda (thats rough and incomplete but pretty much in order)
Is this a note to yourself and no one is actually intended to follow this?
I really dont know how to answer in short. Im trying to do very many things at once. long term, short term, intrinsic, extrinsic
I try to make sense, I try to tell where I dont. the last part is probably what is the worst to read, yea, because its nothing else but "subjective". I was hoping that within a decade or two a handful of individuals can link to this, the rest is in fact for me.