i've been complaining a lot. i've also been a total and complete bitch to a lot of you, especially those of you who care. i'm sorry for that, and i'm trying to fix my attitude as well, but i just wanted to say "thank you" to everybody who's put up with my bullshit for this long. all the offers to help, the well-wishes, the willingness to talk...it all means more than you could ever possibly realize, and i am truely grateful for all of the compassion that you all have shown. i know it must be hard when i keep throwing more problems out at you, but...it's always nice to wake up from my insane insomniac sleep and find that somebody--one of you--had sent me a worried email, asking if i was okay; to find that somebody had offered to let me move in if the need arose; even just offering to let me talk to them and vent. it really does mean more than i could possibly express with words. i actually get a bit choked up when i see people do these kinds of things, which i guess is my explanation for why i never respond to your well-wishes and offers. i just don't know what to say because i've never been exposed to real caring before.

again, i just want to say that i'm very grateful for everything that you all have shown me, whether it was attempting to calm me down after a traumatizing incident, or offering me a place to stay, or even just saying you like the weird stuff i occasionally try to share with the world (i have no illusions of my artistic ability), thank you all so very much. i'll try not to keep this bad attitude up. it really isn't something you need to deal with.