Well, that was it. I screwed up for the last time. No more chances. The only shot I've got is if my ship pulls into Guam, if his ship is there, and if I can find him while I'm there. Oh, and lets not forget this chance only exists if I can get him to talk to me if all the other things happen. He may not be willing to talk to me ever again. Yeah, this is technically the first time I've cheated on him, but to him it's the 8th time. And if I were him I wouldn't talk to me ever again either. I just wish there was some way I could make it not have happened. Some way that I could not have hurt him. I feel like I'm the girl in the song "shot through the heart". I'm the one who gives love a bad name. No, I wasn't just playing a game with him. But I couldn't do what I needed to do to make it work. I just hope he still gets the last birthday present I sent him.