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Hijab talk; ignore if you want.
14 years ago
General
Once again not wanting to cause drama, but I'm dealing with what I think most people would consider a controversial subject. That subject happens to be hijab and my deciding as a convert/revert (depending on your interpretation) if I'm going to wear one.
Now I just want to preface this with saying, no, no one would be making me wear this. No, my family doesn't care either way (Masha-Allah). And no, my friends have already said they would not judge me badly for it if that was what I decided. My Boyfriend doesn't think I'll do it (yes, I know I'm not strictly supposed to have a live in boyfriend).
Now I know I should not let this bother me, but I'm almost afraid of what others might say. I live in Canada and like the US currently there's a whole lot of hate out there for things people don't understand or want to try understanding. There's a ton of people who jump to the conclusion that a hijab is for keeping women dependant on men; honestly I even used to believe that a couple years ago. I, however, am one that believes everything should be in moderation (even if I fail to do so in practice some times) and that people will do what they feel is right for them whether they are religious, spiritual, agnostic or atheist. And right now I feel this is right and hijab is something I want for myself.
But that brings up another part of this. Now I'm pansexual and I understand how many Mulsims feel about us sinning homo types (as unjust as I find any kind of prejudice, the fact remains that it exists). To say the least some would call me a sinner for being as Allah has made me. And yes I do believe I was born this way, or I would not have known at 8 that I liked girls too despite not even knowing that people could be attracted to the same gender. Now would wearing a hijab make me a hypocrite? Or is trying to find a comfortable spot between Allah and who I am really a horrible place to be?
The Qu'ran says there is no compulsion in religion and I believe that, but it also leaves me wondering where I fit.
Any advice would be great, whether you are in any way religious or not.
Assalamu Alalikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh to my Muslim brothers and sisters and peace to every last one of you.
Now I just want to preface this with saying, no, no one would be making me wear this. No, my family doesn't care either way (Masha-Allah). And no, my friends have already said they would not judge me badly for it if that was what I decided. My Boyfriend doesn't think I'll do it (yes, I know I'm not strictly supposed to have a live in boyfriend).
Now I know I should not let this bother me, but I'm almost afraid of what others might say. I live in Canada and like the US currently there's a whole lot of hate out there for things people don't understand or want to try understanding. There's a ton of people who jump to the conclusion that a hijab is for keeping women dependant on men; honestly I even used to believe that a couple years ago. I, however, am one that believes everything should be in moderation (even if I fail to do so in practice some times) and that people will do what they feel is right for them whether they are religious, spiritual, agnostic or atheist. And right now I feel this is right and hijab is something I want for myself.
But that brings up another part of this. Now I'm pansexual and I understand how many Mulsims feel about us sinning homo types (as unjust as I find any kind of prejudice, the fact remains that it exists). To say the least some would call me a sinner for being as Allah has made me. And yes I do believe I was born this way, or I would not have known at 8 that I liked girls too despite not even knowing that people could be attracted to the same gender. Now would wearing a hijab make me a hypocrite? Or is trying to find a comfortable spot between Allah and who I am really a horrible place to be?
The Qu'ran says there is no compulsion in religion and I believe that, but it also leaves me wondering where I fit.
Any advice would be great, whether you are in any way religious or not.
Assalamu Alalikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh to my Muslim brothers and sisters and peace to every last one of you.
As for finding a 'comfortable spot', it's one of those things that only you can find for yourself unfortunately.
Religious people struggle with their sexuality across the board, I think, but I am with you in agreeing that all beings are created in perfection, and that you are exactly as you are meant to be. My personal beliefs discourage acting on feelings of pure lust, but encourage the physical act of lovemaking in a relationship where feelings are involved, be they feelings between men and women, women and women, or men and men, formal commitment or no. I would recommend reading, prayer, and lots of introspection, and you will eventually be led to a place where you fit in.
namaste, and peace upon you!
I'm not a muslim, so I don't necessarily understand all the cultural and religious reasons behind the Hijab, however I personally think you should wear what you want to wear. There's nothing wrong with wearing anything you want, what you wear is between you and Allah, nobody else matters.
The hijab is not really controversial where I live, people tend to be fairly respectful of others here.
Personally myself I think that Hijabs are pretty and I've thought about wearing one myself since I am partial to some of the clothes the local muslim market displays. I've seen plenty of converts of all ethnicities wearing them and they don't seem to get bothered here in the UK.
As for things like the Boyfriend, I live in a town with a large Muslim population, offhand having seen some of the stuff the locals get up to here, I think paradise is going to be a bit empty if Allah is as merciless as some claim him to be. Again, it's between you and Allah, nobody elses input is really needed.
I maintain if there is a higher power, he or she probably doesn't care whether we wear mixed material garments and have veggie gardens.
You'd be surprised actually how much you can cover up and still get that treatment. For example I was almost fully covered in a sweeping floor length dress that only exposed my head and arms when I first had to deal with adult males acting that way towards me, funnily enough it was a religious man who at 32 years old felt that it was appropriate to press his "interest" into my thigh and slobber all over a 16 year old girl.
Sadly there are creeps who simply think a woman is a piece of meat no matter how modestly or immodestly she may be dressed. :/
Good luck with it.
Rest assured that if you wear the hijab you're eventually going to have to take some lumps from people who...well, you know the ones. However, you wear this seeking the love of Allah, which is greater than any earthly concerns. Peace.