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Well I guess that's that.
14 years ago
So my mother called me today. It was the most civil and stimulating conversation we have ever had. She told Dad about me transitioning. He didn't say much except that I need help and of course commented that through my life it has been "one thing after another"
My mother said that she cannot guarantee that when I start changing physically that she will be able to stick around. She then went on to say that she would always love me and I pointed out how that was wrong and that if she abandoned me then she didn't love me she lovED me. As even though I transitioned I am still her child. She repllied "everyone has their limits" I responded "I guess I thought that our family loved eachother no matter what" and she said "No one is perfect"
I always grew up watching everyone elses familiees fal apart but I never really thought it would happen to me. I always kind of figured that everyone elses families were just kind of messed up but here I am... my family is just the same. The only unconditional love I know is that of
sultry Honestly this makes me feel a bit more at ease. At least I know my family is just as messed up and can move on with my life. It hurts because of all thos eyears being raised to believe they would love me unconditionally... I never believed in unconditional love and at least from them I was right... feels like my childhood was a lie.
Another comforting aspect is that my mother doesn't believe in transexuality she thinks people aren't born in wrong gender roles. She thinks it's all in people's heads so to speak. So at least I know it's not me it's every transgender person.
So I guess it's time to move on for me... that child inside of me... I will have to love and take care of her. Just like I did all through my teen years.... y'know what's funny? My method of thinking in my teen years which my parents ridiculed... I was always right about the world. It's corrupt, cold and still riddled with problems.
On another note the right side of my chest has been hurting specifically around the evening when I am at work to when I get home at night. I'm somewhat worried though I am told it can be postural and due to stress.
My mother said that she cannot guarantee that when I start changing physically that she will be able to stick around. She then went on to say that she would always love me and I pointed out how that was wrong and that if she abandoned me then she didn't love me she lovED me. As even though I transitioned I am still her child. She repllied "everyone has their limits" I responded "I guess I thought that our family loved eachother no matter what" and she said "No one is perfect"
I always grew up watching everyone elses familiees fal apart but I never really thought it would happen to me. I always kind of figured that everyone elses families were just kind of messed up but here I am... my family is just the same. The only unconditional love I know is that of
sultry Honestly this makes me feel a bit more at ease. At least I know my family is just as messed up and can move on with my life. It hurts because of all thos eyears being raised to believe they would love me unconditionally... I never believed in unconditional love and at least from them I was right... feels like my childhood was a lie. Another comforting aspect is that my mother doesn't believe in transexuality she thinks people aren't born in wrong gender roles. She thinks it's all in people's heads so to speak. So at least I know it's not me it's every transgender person.
So I guess it's time to move on for me... that child inside of me... I will have to love and take care of her. Just like I did all through my teen years.... y'know what's funny? My method of thinking in my teen years which my parents ridiculed... I was always right about the world. It's corrupt, cold and still riddled with problems.
On another note the right side of my chest has been hurting specifically around the evening when I am at work to when I get home at night. I'm somewhat worried though I am told it can be postural and due to stress.
If you want a new Brother, please let me apply for the position :)
Kai xx
you go girl.
Regardless I love you - perhaps not in the same way Sultry does, but you're family now. We'll talk when I get home...
And the chest pain could be astham or acid reflux. Even allergies. Just try to stay low stress. *hugs*
You worded it best, it is a mask... it's sick to think of it becauseI never thought family would be as disgusting as the rest of society but now I realize that they aren't much different... it's really a shame. Thank you miss Pink. as always you're a huge help in all of this =^_^=
Love you like family, Yuma. you know that it is who you are that makes a difference in life. take the chance and make sure opportunities never fly away.