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What is WRONG with me?!
14 years ago
General
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU...how come every single time I put my fucking pencil to paper, all I get are either shitty half-assed static posed or FUCKING PORN? It's not even porn I'm allowed to fucking post anywhere, fucking teenage/lolita lesbian stuff that I've been trying to STOP drawing because it's NOT what I want my fucking name associated with for the rest of my Goddamn life! I'm trying to actually HAVER a future here, not end up on a fucking FBI list or getting buttrammed by prisoners because of how everyone keeps calling my shit CP and at this rate, I'm gonna end up on a fucking "Dateline" special or at the least having every single fucking legitimate project I ever attempt ending up springing up fucking "hey, guess what THIS guy used to draw, fucking pedo-pervert!" like I was Dave Cheung or something. I mean, it's fucking pictures of fucking robots and dragongirls and all I wanna do is try and make some kinda future for myself because I have NOTHING to look forward to but a lifetime of physical pain and lonliness anyway but all I'm doing is ruining any fucking chance I have at being seen as anything but a pathetic Internet pervert for the rest of my life! FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCK!
....I'm fucking crying here. I just want something to not make me wanna kill myself over, is that too much to fucking ask for? Is it?
....I'm fucking crying here. I just want something to not make me wanna kill myself over, is that too much to fucking ask for? Is it?
I know you feel trapped right now, and I know you feel like the whole fucking world is out to get you, but its not.
There are people that care bro, you are not alone man.
I know words will seem empty as shit right now, but things will get better.
What you could try is sit down and figure out what it is you want to be known for. Particular characters, story universes, etc. Then commit yourself to drawing them. Even if you have to push yourself, the more you do it, the more they'll develop and the easier it will be to continue once you have that momentum.
backhanded reminder of inspiration basics aside, i'd assume you're just backed up from allllllllllllll that time you spent not drawing. it's not like you have to share everything you draw after all. all artists have a "noone must know" folder somewhere or other......just relax and draw until something you like comes out.
TBH, I would love to see more of this stuff that you have been drawing, personally, cause I love your past stuff and your characters, younger and otherwise. But I can appreciate your hangups about it. You shouldn't force yourself so much that is driving you this this level of agony. I agree with the idea is keep drawing what you can/feel like, eventually you will find something you are truly happy with.
It's not healthy to stress out this much about anything, especially you art. You shouldn't be ashamed of what you are drawing or have drawn, no matter what ANYONE says as far as I am concerned. Relax, draw your art, and remember you have plenty of good people that care about ya and support whatever you do.