[10:29:23 PM] Heckfire: It's kind of a shame Disney has Star Wars now, we'll never see an official version of my old TFOS NPC, Boba Fudd.
[10:29:51 PM] Heckfire: "Be vewy, vewy quiet. I'm hunting Webels."
[10:30:02 PM] Heckfire: Huhuhuhuhuhuh.
[10:30:27 PM] Orin J.: it's a shame Disney has star wars now on a lot of levels, because they do not like exploring subtlety.
[10:30:45 PM] Orin J.: gonzo the great was too deep for them.
[10:30:51 PM] Heckfire: Duck Skywalker, Bun Solo, Princess Lola Organa...this shit writes itself.
[10:31:44 PM] Heckfire: Pork-EPO.
[10:33:29 PM] Heckfire: Marvin Vader...although Grand Marv Tarkin is also good. "I'm going to blow up Alderaan, isn't that lovely?"
[10:35:26 PM] Orin J.: marvin would probably have to fill a lot of roles anyways.

...

[10:38:44 PM] Heckfire: ...hmm, who would Yosemite Sam be? Palpatine?
[10:39:33 PM] Heckfire: Now I'm picturing him in black robes, doing that "fire guns at the ground enough to levitate" bit with force lightning.
[10:40:22 PM] Orin J.: it's a good bit, let's go with it.
[10:40:37 PM] Orin J.: he fits the evil conservative angle too.
[10:41:23 PM | Edited 10:41:33 PM] Heckfire: I'm inclined to suggest Foghorn Leghorn as Yoda due to the speech thing, but Porky would actually be a better fit there.
[10:42:17 PM] Orin J.: not to mention foghorn provitign actual wisdom is out of his template, which they're usualy pretty solid about.
[10:42:26 PM] Orin J.: sleepy rodregez maybe....
[10:42:55 PM | Edited 10:43:01 PM] Heckfire: Too obscure and racially offensive. Speedy as Lando might work, tho'.
[10:43:38 PM] Heckfire: Gossamer as Chewbacca, obviously.
[10:44:30 PM] Heckfire: Or better yet, Wile E. Coyote as Lando.
[10:44:51 PM] Orin J.: talking or with the signs?
[10:45:49 PM] Heckfire: Both. Normally his "Wile E. Coyote, SUUUUPER genius" bit, but I see Gossbacca strangling him during the escape from Cloud City and him looking at the camera and holding up a little "help!" sign.
[10:46:33 PM | Edited 10:46:39 PM] Heckfire: ...hmm, second thought, the signs are a funnier bit.
[10:47:49 PM] Heckfire: Road Runer as R2D2, if only for the sight of an R2 unit with RR's feather tuft shooting along a corridor going "MEEMEEP!"
[10:48:27 PM] Orin J.: all the beeps are meeps now
[10:48:54 PM] Heckfire: Maybe Foghorn as Kenobi, if only for him doing his "Southern lawyer" schtick to get out of lying about Vader.
[10:49:58 PM] Heckfire: "Well, now-ah, Vader, ah say, Vader DID kill yore father, forma certain, ah-say, point of view..."
[10:51:15 PM] Orin J.: i can roll with that
[10:53:35 PM | Edited 10:53:45 PM] Heckfire: Duck Skywalker gives a flat stare at Taz Vader, points and says "You're my father," then turns and does the same at Princess Lola and says, "And...YOU'RE my twin sister. Hm." Nods his head, then looks at audience/animator and says "So, who's Mom gonna be, Mugsy?"
[10:55:24 PM] Heckfire: Hmm...Taz would be another good Chewbacca choice, possibly too obvious though, and maybe Sam as Vader and Mugsy as Palpatine.
[10:56:28 PM | Edited 10:56:43 PM] Heckfire: Kinda wish Ness was here. He's obviously a Disney shill, but I figger he's got a good head for Looney Tunes chars we're forgetting.
[10:57:12 PM] Orin J.: true.
[10:57:22 PM] Orin J.: i hope he actually meets someone on this trip.
[10:58:34 PM | Edited 10:58:54 PM] Heckfire: ...now I'm seeing Taz as R2, with his slobbering gibberish in place of R2's beeps and gorilla walking like he used to do but with R2's wheel legs.
[11:00:22 PM | Edited 11:00:26 PM] Heckfire: C3PO is the biggest problem char. The only really effeminate char I can think of is either Marvin or one of the Gophers.
[11:01:54 PM] Heckfire: But the Gophers are too small and tend to work as a duo, and Grand Marv Tarkin and his thing for blowing up planets is too good a joke to waste.
[11:03:36 PM] Heckfire: ...he's just as small as the Gophers, but Speedy as C3PO could be funny. He speaks over a million different languages, all with an outrageous Spanish accent.
[11:04:28 PM] Orin J.: what about the lion?
[11:04:40 PM] Heckfire: "Si, I know Bocchi. I speek like ah meelion different languages."
[11:05:00 PM] Heckfire: Which one?
[11:05:24 PM] Orin J.: the one kinda slow one.
[11:05:44 PM] Heckfire: I'm trying to think of him and all I can remember is Pete Puma.
[11:05:57 PM] Orin J.: might be him.
[11:05:58 PM] Heckfire: "EEEEEEEEYYYYEEERRRGGHHHH..."
[11:06:02 PM] Orin J.: yeah, him
[11:06:50 PM] Heckfire: Hm, too obscure and evil for Threepio, but I'll keep him in mind.
[11:07:20 PM] Heckfire: Although that speed-talking bunny is also a good R2 choice.
[11:09:14 PM] Orin J.: clearly the bunny is beru.
[11:10:35 PM] Heckfire: ...use Spee-DPO to have a running meta joke about Anthony Daniels' problems with the Threepio costume, like his costume is simply Threepio's head that he has to lug around everywhere.
[11:11:36 PM] Heckfire: ANd when he gets blown up in Cloud City, they find the head and have to act like it's a big deal despite it literally being all there's ever been of him to react to.
[11:12:19 PM] Orin J.: one wonders how we got here....
[11:13:10 PM] Heckfire: "LOOK! It's Spee-DPO's HEad! He's been BLOWN UP!"
Bun Solo gives it a flat stare, looks at the camera, then shrugs "It's a paycheck."
[11:13:55 PM] Heckfire: ...Bugs' smartass attitude problems representing Harrison FOrd hating to play Han Solo and constantly trying to get him killed off.
[11:14:53 PM] Heckfire: "I love you."
"Eh, I know, toots."
[11:15:23 PM] Orin J.: hey, it only took him what? four films?
[11:16:51 PM] Heckfire: ...the carbonite slab has "ACME Frozen Rabbit Fricassee, Ready in 3 Minutes!" along the side.

...

[11:20:32 PM] Heckfire: ...I'm tempted to dip into the Animaniacs and maybe Tiny Toons to fills out the cast, but it would almost make some of the roles too easy to fill.
[11:20:55 PM] Heckfire: I mean, HOW would I be able to pass up Slappy Kenobi?
[11:22:16 PM] Heckfire: "I am not a bounty hunter. I am a mouse in a large mechanical suit."
"My fault for asking..."
[11:26:22 PM | Edited 11:30:55 PM] Heckfire: Better yet, Emperor Brainpatine, in said mechanical suit with Pinky in the pocket, and after he gets thrown down the reactor shaft, the two of them climb out singed.
"NARF! The Dark Side was a lot more burny and explody than we thought, huh Emperor Brain?"
"I never did put much stock in hokey old religions, Pinkatine. Well, back to the Executor to plan for tomorrow night."
"What are we gonna do tomorrow night, Brain?"
"...the same thing we do every night, Pinkatine: TRY TO TAKE OVER THE GALAXY!"
[11:27:58 PM] Orin J.: i'm against this, purely because it runs the risk of the hip hippos being involved.
[11:28:04 PM] Orin J.: and elmyra.
[11:28:19 PM] Orin J.: i'm....not sure which is worse, but the hell with both of 'em.
[11:31:47 PM] Heckfire: Actually, Flavio WOULD be a perfect Jabba the Hutt.
[11:32:37 PM] Orin J.: SONUVA-
[11:35:14 PM | Edited 11:35:19 PM] Heckfire: It's either him or the Abominable Snow Man. "OOOH, MY OWN LITTLE JEDI MASTER. I will HUG him and PET him and call him George...oooh, you're a NAUGHTY little Jedi Master, I will hafta put you in the Sarlacc Pit, yes I will..."
[11:36:41 PM] Heckfire: He spends all his time on the Sail Barge fanning himself and saying how hot it is, and when the heroes all break free, Princess Lola goes to strangle him with the chain only to discover he's melted into a puddle on the cushions.
[11:37:08 PM] Heckfire: ...OK, yeah, much better joke than using Flavio.
[11:40:40 PM] Heckfire: If Slappy is Kenobi, then Foghorn has to be Admiral Ackbar. "IT'S, AH, I SAY IT'S A TRAP!...heh, look at me, boy, ah'm Surf an' Turf, ah say..."
[11:42:17 PM] Heckfire: Hmm...maybe reverse that, make Porky Kenobi and Slappy Yoda, since they're both supposed to be "ten thousand years older than sand."
[11:42:39 PM | Edited 11:42:46 PM] Heckfire: And Slappy's WAY more likely to hit Daffy and Taz with a stick.
[11:42:58 PM] Heckfire: And get away with it in the latter case.
[11:44:45 PM] Heckfire: Call her "Yoma" and have her make a crack later about her full name being "YoMama"...
"...yeah, 20 years since the show got cancelled, an' I'm brought back for that joke. That's comedy."
[11:46:30 PM] Orin J.: no, seriously, how did we get here? it makes no sense.
[11:46:41 PM] Heckfire: What, in the game?
[11:46:58 PM] Orin J.: these conversations feel vaguely like one or both of us is under the influence. of something.
[11:47:16 PM] Heckfire: Well, Ness isn't here, so I feel I have to compensate.

...

[4/17/2017 11:59:35 PM] Heckfire: ...Taz as Chewbacca, Road Runner as R2, and Gossamer as the Rancor Monster. Bonus, when the gate is brought down on the "Rancor's" neck, the keeper and guards stand there wondering how it killed him since he has no neck to break.
[12:03:22 AM] Heckfire: I even already have a name for this, the one I used for the original TFOS game: "Star Warners"

...

[12:19:23 AM | Edited 12:19:30 AM] Heckfire: I'm gonna post this convo to my gallery journals. Maybe I can find someone who can draw in the Looney Tunes style, even.
[12:21:04 AM] Heckfire: Do it as a webcomic. Instead of "A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away..." before the title, put "Since we'll never get it officially now..."
[12:21:19 AM] Orin J.: maybe too bitter
[12:21:44 AM] Heckfire: Well, we WON'T, will we?
[12:22:50 AM] Orin J.: yeah. too bitter.
[12:24:00 AM] Heckfire: Pot: Kettle, I need to talk to you about your choice of attire...

...

[12:52:01 AM] Heckfire: ...now I'm seeing Porky as Threepio again and Speedy as Kenobi. He and Yosemite Vader face off for the lightsaber battle in the Death Star, and Sam just steps on him.
[12:52:32 AM] Heckfire: Obi Wan Gonzales
[12:53:16 AM] Orin J.: i mean.....
[12:53:19 AM] Orin J.: it's not a bad idea.