My natural chirpiness has deserted me in the face of a prolonged exposure to a shitty world. I officially give up trying to make a difference in this negatively charged world.

One person cannot make a difference, no matter how hard you work or how good you are. Nobody got anywhere being the nice, i thought i did for a time, but it was just a fantasy, a dream of things never to be.
No matter how bad things get there's always further to fall, more pain to be had.
When you think you're at rock bottom and can't take any more, you cling to the hope that things can only get better.

Hope is the last straw we clutch at, the feeling that things will be okay. Hah.
Hope is the cruellest emotion ever.

When hope is gone you feel the pieces that used to be you fade into memory, i've changed so much over just the last 6 months i can barely remember who i was. It's easy at first to pretend to be the same on the outside, but it gets so much harder over time to keep doing it. Then you can't see the point anymore.

I miss Fardru.