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On Reflection
14 years ago
I'd like to share a story about myself. It's the long and short of my handling of identity on the wide world of the internet, and how it's affected my work.
Recently it appears I was tracked down by a long-time fan who had enjoyed my works and wanted to find a definitive source for them. And it got me thinking.
I've long kept my works hidden, secret, or separate, for many reasons. More than anything, I didn't want the less wholesome aspects of my work to taint the more wholesome. I didn't want the fact I had drawn what amounted to crude pornography at some point to interfere with the delivery of a lighthearted joke on a separate subject. To wit: I didn't want my works to be judged on anything but their own merits. I had seen what happens when people suspect. I had seen some comics of mine written off by association, the fame of the identity "Player One" suddenly attacked because of association with RubyQuest. The disavowal of it, or the insistence by those against it that it should not be enjoyed by those enjoying it, because it was created by "that furry from /tg/ who made RubyQuest".
What man wants the ignominious moments of his past dredged up and paraded to see? I am sure there are those who resent what little success I've had, shaking their heads at those deluded enough to find entertainment in my work, wondering what they see in me. I'm not as much of an internet celebrity as most to whom this is true, and I've certainly tried to ruffle as few feathers as possible and generally make as few enemies as I could. And yet it's clear I've made some hated lists, and for as innocuous as I've always seen my work there are those who'd wished death upon me, at least in a passing internet sort of way.
And to these people I am sure as well that any shameful event or laughable history that could be brought up to throw dirt on me would be relished, to prove that this unwarranted applause I occasionally produce is just that. How the denizens of the internet love to take anyone who has produced work, as I have, and dig through their pasts for events to say "Here, come and see. The man you listen to or laugh with or even respect is flawed and undeserving."
And I am flawed, truly. I've done lots of stupid things, though I do not believe I have some singular deep dark secret whose sole reveal could ruin me. If I did, it would probably be the 'taint' of anthropomorphic and furry artwork, but what little fear I still had of that was discarded, of course, when I began publishing here. Still, that move alone has no doubt made many swear me off for good, and I cannot count the number of disgusted or simply disappointed reactions I've seen when someone who might once have been a fan discovers, to their horror or dismay, that I have a FurAffinity account now.
I have had total strangers, people whom I have never met -- nor will I ever meet -- take such umbrage at the few laughs I produce that they would take up against me on a personal level. I have seen these people dig up what information they could on me, even going so far as to post (what they thought were) photographs of my own home, and of people I knew or lived with. Even when the facts were inaccurate, which they often were, it felt bitterly hostile, knowing someone felt I had so wronged them that I deserved to be this hated. It felt unprovoked. But such people would not be placated until I went away and they no longer had to deal with me.
That's why I always tried to remain anonymous, or hidden. Why I omitted or even lied about the authorship of content. I wanted that content to be able to stand on its own, not bleed together. I'm intensely proud of my more serious works, like RubyQuest, but I also find a running amusement in drawing much more unsavory and bizarre works. I don't want RubyQuest to be ruined for anyone because I drew a crude penis or a table lamp with tits somewhere else.
After a long time I finally discarded these concerns.
In part, I realized that trying to hold a spotless image on the internet was impossible unless you really were spotless, which I certainly was not. And my detractors, justified as they may be, could not be thrown simply by hiding my name. I also realized that the few fans I had that wanted my work collectively could not get it. Finally, I knew that there was simply a point of tolerance that had to be reached.
In a way, perhaps I simply stopped caring so goddamn much about what people would think of me on the internet.
Coming to FurAffinity, even just as a single, comprehensive place to dump my art, I knew I would be not only establishing a more definitive 'identity', but also immediately 'soiling' it by associating it with the furry subculture. I've many points to make about the subculture and despite my presence here and the anthropomorphic art I sometimes produce, I've never considered myself a part of that subculture, and I would not ever opt to call myself a "furry". But that's a semantics argument for another day, a whole other can of worms.
My point is that even just by association I knew those who were borderline about my work or even enjoyed other aspects of it would be instantly alienated -- and many were. But again, at this point, it had become a secondary concern. Detractors will still come and I suppose I'll never be all that popular on 4chan again, but my time in the spotlight there is long gone anyway. EFG and Boxdog and other characters I've written have lost their place there. And besides, success on 4chan is hardly a trophy you can put on your mantle.
I used to avoid names. I used different accounts and even e-mails for different things. Hell, I would experiment with different art styles just so people wouldn't catch on right away, but it never really worked for long.
But all things settled, I now abandoned that and was content just to set down in a single place. Before coming here, I did many things, and I still spread myself wide (and too thin). But now I own up to it. Most of it.
I have given up my delusions of having a good image. What little respect or dignity I may have had is long-since gone. If at any point in my career I could have claimed a shred of integrity, violent disassemblies of Animal Crossing and countless sex jokes about My Little Pony have surely seen an end to it. I'm just another trashy artist on the dark side of the internet.
And yet somehow the world did not end. Life went on.
It's always great to see those people who've joined in of late, or held on through all that trouble, and just want to express their appreciation. Or hell, even just their presence.
I just wanted you and anyone like you to know that I appreciate kind words like those you've seen fit to give me, and that the genuine entertainment of my various audiences is all I truly strive for.
I won't deny there is some pleasure in being lauded or praised, though it's tempered knowing I have never been and will never be a very talented artist from any technical perspective, that my ability to convey even simple premises are hampered by my amateurish-at-best skills. Likewise there is a pleasure, sure, in some kind of misguided grasp for what fleeting or intangible fame or success that I may have known.
But at its core, the thing which I have sought longest and hardest is simply entertainment.
I take my greatest joys in seeing the reactions of the crowd, of moving them to laughter or anger, pity or sadness. I know there is some great selfish quality to it all, and that simply acknowledging it means knowing I am, in a way, just an attention whore. Bill Watterson once wrote that simply provoking a reaction is not the same as saying something significant. And it's true.
But I want the responses not simply because I want praise for them. I don't draw because I want a pat on the back. If I did, I'd probably have taken more classes. I want to see enjoyment, thought, entertainment. I want to push a weird idea out into the world, and I want to see how the world reacts.
I wanted to thank the people who've supported me in their various ways, even in something as simple as a guilty laugh at a dirty joke. I will be grateful every single time I read of someone staying up for hours because they were reading RubyQuest. No matter how many (or how few) people compliment me on a funny comic, I will always appreciate it. That kind of genuine response will never get old to me.
It's more than that, though.
Without people like you, I wouldn't even be here.
I'm not a great artist. I'm not much of a comedian. I can't draw and I can't write and those who can routinely produce better work than I do.
But for some reason, you all show up and make this work.
And I wanted to thank you in earnest.
Because without you, none of this happens.
So to all my fans, however few or many, long-time followers or just in passing, thank you.
You make any stage worth performing on.
Recently it appears I was tracked down by a long-time fan who had enjoyed my works and wanted to find a definitive source for them. And it got me thinking.
I've long kept my works hidden, secret, or separate, for many reasons. More than anything, I didn't want the less wholesome aspects of my work to taint the more wholesome. I didn't want the fact I had drawn what amounted to crude pornography at some point to interfere with the delivery of a lighthearted joke on a separate subject. To wit: I didn't want my works to be judged on anything but their own merits. I had seen what happens when people suspect. I had seen some comics of mine written off by association, the fame of the identity "Player One" suddenly attacked because of association with RubyQuest. The disavowal of it, or the insistence by those against it that it should not be enjoyed by those enjoying it, because it was created by "that furry from /tg/ who made RubyQuest".
What man wants the ignominious moments of his past dredged up and paraded to see? I am sure there are those who resent what little success I've had, shaking their heads at those deluded enough to find entertainment in my work, wondering what they see in me. I'm not as much of an internet celebrity as most to whom this is true, and I've certainly tried to ruffle as few feathers as possible and generally make as few enemies as I could. And yet it's clear I've made some hated lists, and for as innocuous as I've always seen my work there are those who'd wished death upon me, at least in a passing internet sort of way.
And to these people I am sure as well that any shameful event or laughable history that could be brought up to throw dirt on me would be relished, to prove that this unwarranted applause I occasionally produce is just that. How the denizens of the internet love to take anyone who has produced work, as I have, and dig through their pasts for events to say "Here, come and see. The man you listen to or laugh with or even respect is flawed and undeserving."
And I am flawed, truly. I've done lots of stupid things, though I do not believe I have some singular deep dark secret whose sole reveal could ruin me. If I did, it would probably be the 'taint' of anthropomorphic and furry artwork, but what little fear I still had of that was discarded, of course, when I began publishing here. Still, that move alone has no doubt made many swear me off for good, and I cannot count the number of disgusted or simply disappointed reactions I've seen when someone who might once have been a fan discovers, to their horror or dismay, that I have a FurAffinity account now.
I have had total strangers, people whom I have never met -- nor will I ever meet -- take such umbrage at the few laughs I produce that they would take up against me on a personal level. I have seen these people dig up what information they could on me, even going so far as to post (what they thought were) photographs of my own home, and of people I knew or lived with. Even when the facts were inaccurate, which they often were, it felt bitterly hostile, knowing someone felt I had so wronged them that I deserved to be this hated. It felt unprovoked. But such people would not be placated until I went away and they no longer had to deal with me.
That's why I always tried to remain anonymous, or hidden. Why I omitted or even lied about the authorship of content. I wanted that content to be able to stand on its own, not bleed together. I'm intensely proud of my more serious works, like RubyQuest, but I also find a running amusement in drawing much more unsavory and bizarre works. I don't want RubyQuest to be ruined for anyone because I drew a crude penis or a table lamp with tits somewhere else.
After a long time I finally discarded these concerns.
In part, I realized that trying to hold a spotless image on the internet was impossible unless you really were spotless, which I certainly was not. And my detractors, justified as they may be, could not be thrown simply by hiding my name. I also realized that the few fans I had that wanted my work collectively could not get it. Finally, I knew that there was simply a point of tolerance that had to be reached.
In a way, perhaps I simply stopped caring so goddamn much about what people would think of me on the internet.
Coming to FurAffinity, even just as a single, comprehensive place to dump my art, I knew I would be not only establishing a more definitive 'identity', but also immediately 'soiling' it by associating it with the furry subculture. I've many points to make about the subculture and despite my presence here and the anthropomorphic art I sometimes produce, I've never considered myself a part of that subculture, and I would not ever opt to call myself a "furry". But that's a semantics argument for another day, a whole other can of worms.
My point is that even just by association I knew those who were borderline about my work or even enjoyed other aspects of it would be instantly alienated -- and many were. But again, at this point, it had become a secondary concern. Detractors will still come and I suppose I'll never be all that popular on 4chan again, but my time in the spotlight there is long gone anyway. EFG and Boxdog and other characters I've written have lost their place there. And besides, success on 4chan is hardly a trophy you can put on your mantle.
I used to avoid names. I used different accounts and even e-mails for different things. Hell, I would experiment with different art styles just so people wouldn't catch on right away, but it never really worked for long.
But all things settled, I now abandoned that and was content just to set down in a single place. Before coming here, I did many things, and I still spread myself wide (and too thin). But now I own up to it. Most of it.
I have given up my delusions of having a good image. What little respect or dignity I may have had is long-since gone. If at any point in my career I could have claimed a shred of integrity, violent disassemblies of Animal Crossing and countless sex jokes about My Little Pony have surely seen an end to it. I'm just another trashy artist on the dark side of the internet.
And yet somehow the world did not end. Life went on.
It's always great to see those people who've joined in of late, or held on through all that trouble, and just want to express their appreciation. Or hell, even just their presence.
I just wanted you and anyone like you to know that I appreciate kind words like those you've seen fit to give me, and that the genuine entertainment of my various audiences is all I truly strive for.
I won't deny there is some pleasure in being lauded or praised, though it's tempered knowing I have never been and will never be a very talented artist from any technical perspective, that my ability to convey even simple premises are hampered by my amateurish-at-best skills. Likewise there is a pleasure, sure, in some kind of misguided grasp for what fleeting or intangible fame or success that I may have known.
But at its core, the thing which I have sought longest and hardest is simply entertainment.
I take my greatest joys in seeing the reactions of the crowd, of moving them to laughter or anger, pity or sadness. I know there is some great selfish quality to it all, and that simply acknowledging it means knowing I am, in a way, just an attention whore. Bill Watterson once wrote that simply provoking a reaction is not the same as saying something significant. And it's true.
But I want the responses not simply because I want praise for them. I don't draw because I want a pat on the back. If I did, I'd probably have taken more classes. I want to see enjoyment, thought, entertainment. I want to push a weird idea out into the world, and I want to see how the world reacts.
I wanted to thank the people who've supported me in their various ways, even in something as simple as a guilty laugh at a dirty joke. I will be grateful every single time I read of someone staying up for hours because they were reading RubyQuest. No matter how many (or how few) people compliment me on a funny comic, I will always appreciate it. That kind of genuine response will never get old to me.
It's more than that, though.
Without people like you, I wouldn't even be here.
I'm not a great artist. I'm not much of a comedian. I can't draw and I can't write and those who can routinely produce better work than I do.
But for some reason, you all show up and make this work.
And I wanted to thank you in earnest.
Because without you, none of this happens.
So to all my fans, however few or many, long-time followers or just in passing, thank you.
You make any stage worth performing on.
I barely know you and you don't know me but in all honesty you basically changed my life. After discovering Ruby Quest and Quests in general I find myself drawn to tgchan dredging over these little adventures. I also have a near unhealthy obsession with Dive Quest.
Sure association with the furry subculture and all of its wonderfulness may not be such a happy thing to have, but hey, you're popular here, aren't you?
And sure you might not be the best artist or the best comedian or the best writer but you have a cult following of people who like your work.
I'm sure others can attest to that.
There are few accessible traits a person can have that can really equate to just how fucking wonderful that is.
No, thank YOU.
Also, who cares if you lack technique? You've got STYLE. Fantastic artists are a dime a dozen these days. But somehow you stand out. Not because you're the best artist, but because you're something no one else can offer. It's an intangible, nameless quality, you know?
You draw like no one else, you tell stories like no one else, and you create like no one else.
And though we haven't talked very much recently, I'm proud to call you my friend.
i guess it was an unrealistic expectation and i'm sorry
:<
It's great you're starting to see that your -real- fans aren't shallow like such. I'm hoping a little peace of mind will inspire you to continue to make great things :P
.....of course, I personally shouldn't really be saying much, as I haven't really experienced much of your other work... I'm lurking in mostly all the wrong ways >>
...
...ANYWAYS, more power to ya :D
I agree, actually. And the general presentation apart from identity is positive as well.
But there's no real need to hinder association unnecessarily; while Weaver might not use a name while posting something on 4chan, he can still associate that stuff with a name here or elsewhere.
>It's great you're starting to see that your -real- fans aren't shallow like such.
This is not exactly false, but it's a dangerous idea to embrace, as it can lead to the notion that only people who accept one's work are -real- fans, and the rest are just haters, loathing for no good reason. And that's counter to growth, both in popularity and as an artist.
Not that I suspect this to be a trap Weaver is particularly likely to fall into, just pointing that out.
For as an example, if you keep on doing what you like to do best, you will attract fans who have very similar tastes. And isn't that the best way to go? The alternatives would be to change how you do things, which risks alienating some of your fans for the sake of attracting other fans who might not even stick around.
You can still grow by not changing by simply improving on what you're already doing. =P
There's a medium somewhere there that's the sweetspot of providing most of the same thing with what you're best at while keeping it changing to where you don't stay off your own style.
But I digress. The bottom line is that it's one trial after another to have both the artist and the fans content, or even better, -satisfied- with each other. I say that if Weaver's found that satisfactory relation with the fans, let it be =P
On a related note, do you read XKCD? That there is an example of doing more of the same thing in the best way.
Personally I don't see how people care about association so much when it comes to art. You keep on doing what you are doing, and so many of us will keep on reading and giving you what praise we think you deserve.
I guess I'll never really understand the people that hate furries so much. Just seems kinda silly to spend so much effort on something hated. But, these people are going to hate furry artwork and anything related to it no matter what, and I just feel bad for them. They're gonna miss out on cool stuff.
In short, thanks for all the cool drawings over the years. It's been fun following what I could. It's been a blast and I'm sure it'll keep being fun for as long as you decide to keep doing it. ^ -^ b
And yes RubyQuest gave me some definite chills when I was reading through it all those years ago, the entire story itself is what kept me going, when I had read that you had planned on letting Tom sacrifice himself near the end but you didn't expect the readers to suggest slipping the group photo into the locker, that itself was awesome, and I think that's the sort of stuff you love most when you're doing these quests.
After reading this journal it feels like you REALLY wanted to get all of this off your chest, hopefully opening up like this and talking with us helps out a bit, and I personally wanna say thanks for giving us some great stories and memorable characters.
Think, of a towering assembly line machine - an array of pipes and cogs emerging from it's massive structure. We see pipes and belts whirring and whizzing and arms moving and dropping caps on bottles, and swinging and swaying and just, what seems a truly indecipherable amount going on. And to someone walking upon it it must seem like the highest form of invention.
This next part could use a better example, but I'm short on time - consider the fork, then. (jeez, a fork? gimme some slack here XD) If you were to compare a fork to this machine, you might note it's lack of scale, of moving parts, of whirring and buzzing in a pattern so fantastically intertwined.
But the fork - is so much more. The length, the tapered base, the four points... this object is such a magnificent...
Ok, I didn't want to be an applegeek because I'm not one, but forget it - I'm changing over to the ipod nano.
... The nano seems, a simple, smooth, square. An even luster, a single button. But it's pipes don't blatantly protrude, it's buzzes and whirs aren't thrusted upon the eyes and ears of it's viewers in such the same way. It is a similar level of astounding production and invention, but contained within and behind it's simpler design, and then supported by what is an exceptionally handled design of that sort. If you're willing to look further, there is a world of artistry there, under the microscope just as large and fascinating.
So to say, for what it is, your art has such a refined look to it, some of the finer black line on white I've seen. But it's the intricate workings of your mind behind it, that I think gives it the praise it so rightly deserves. And anyone who says otherwise is just glancing at the square.
I have not known you very long but I think it's really cool that we're pals and it's always fun doing draw stuff with you
I think it's really silly you've developed a hatedom cause from what I know you seem to be a rather reasonable person, and even though you engage in some activities or draw things other people don't exactly agree with or like, I think it is silly for people to use that against you or for people to turn on you (especially trying to find pictures of your house wtf, it's not like you are stupidly dramatic like chris chan or nationally hated like bin laden)
I don't want to be the "OH WEAVER YOU CAN DO NO WRONG, FUCK THE HATERS TO HELL" guy as I'm not really the kissassy type, but I do think it's great of you to value your friends and fans, ruby Quest was fucking awesome and Dive Quest's brand of storytelling has been for lack of a better word, inspirational, and I'm still glad we decided to be bros.
(Also don't worry about the FA thing, anyone who isn't some 15yo fresh off of ED can tell what a furry is and is not, mainly because it's all about presentation (Like look at these fucking banners, these things are furry as shit))
I always liked your work, regardless of content, anything new and fun to read is welcome
We're all furries here, and furries tend to be a good bit more loyal than random channers, if someone were to swear off your work just because you have relations with a certain fandom, well, then they never cared for your work to begin with
I know I would rather have a few loyal fans than a bunch of randoms demanding you draw what they want
They really are unnecessarily hateful
Seeing how you're using > to quote I assume you still go there
There are posters that express negative opinions though, often using strong language to do so. Perhaps that's what you're thinking of?
the whole judging by association thing isn't all that new acourse but that's just how things go in general really, and it's good that you consider even negative attention still as attention
I can appreciate your art, as with anyone, your ideas are interesting. it's all in the delivery when it comes to art, not just the quality, so hoho thank you too
How dare you not continue to swallow the lie! Right? I think that's the biggest thing. When a 'big' person like yourself takes the plunge, suddenly there's this feeling of betrayal because you're in a different clubhouse and that paperthin wall of superiority gets another hole in it. So you have to be a villain. Something happened to you, something's wrong with you now. There has to be, or they have no reason to buy into it, either.
It's easy to see all furries as the same from the outside, but once you get in, you realize that there's a ton of variation among us. Just like there is with, y'know, everyone. There's even plenty of former and current 4channers within the circle. There's a group for anyone, and for the most part, there's really not the massive groupthink you hear about.
Anyway, it's good to have you here. You kicked up the variety a big notch and you put some real effort into your works. That's always welcome. :)
I at first read this as saying that Weaver was obligated to become a villain. You've given me a fun antagonist idea.
Given the breadth and depth of your writing, and the level of complexity and thought that goes into your work, I put you as one of my chief inspirations, a bit of Lovecraft and Twain for the internet era. Ruby Quest got me back into writing horror, and Player 1 made dark-interpreting video games fun again.
Dead serious.
Have a good day.
what you draw, so don't worry about alienating people or people thinking weirdly of you
just because you draw weird stuff.
Moreover, sometimes the art takes a supporting role to great storytelling instead. The art is an accent to the whole play, so to speak, in a very grand way.
I'm glad to be in your audience.
>I have never been and will never be a very talented artist from any technical perspective
I disagree with that. Your mastery of simple expressive line drawings is unsurpassed by anyone, as far as I'm aware. You may not be skilled at the fancy things that some other folks can do, but what you are good at isn't inherently inferior.
Wish I could've been that long-time fan that met you, been following your work since your travels to /b/ without even knowing it.
You really oughta do something with your creativity on a larger scale, Weaver. I think you're depriving a lot of people of the chance to experience some awesome shit, and if you went ahead and did something big with your work, I think you'd be surprised with the results.
I know it doesn't mean much coming from some guy's porn-browsing Furaffinity Account, but you've done some wonderful stuff in the past, and I really hope we get to see more of your shit in the future, be it here, 4chan, tgchan, or whatever suitable outlet you find for your creativity.
Your stuff is always fun to look at, whether it's just silly gag comics, or lengthy community-driven adventures (Been re-reading Nan Quest in the dark at 3 AM, by the way, I was very happy to see you updating again!), or yes, even your less, shall we say, appropriate art. There's a charming simplicity to your style, and an ability to exaggerate expressions with a minimal amount of detail has always been your specialty. Plus, the speed with which you're able to crank out content is something I do envy just a bit.
So, shine on, you crazy diamond.
...And keep the ponies coming, your characterization of Spike is hilarious.
I've done tons of horrible stuff in the past. Though it comes back to bite me occasionally, I laugh at those nowadays, knowing that I am just slightly better than then.
Anyway, I'm so happy that you've stopped giving a damn about the guys who seek to persecute you because of your work. I love how you, like many artists, consider yourself unworthy of the attention you get, but I, like the many other fans you have, say you really do deserve all that fame, though this may be a little biased because of your MLP clop jokes.
What website you chose and what thing you shared there before never should - and for me never will - affect how I judge the next thing that brews in your head.
Back when I discovered RQ achives (I think it was TVTropes), I was only dipping my toes in storytelling, and at times I was simply stunned by the tricks you played on the readers. We never talked, but I am not exaggerating one bit when I say you made a huge impact on how I perceive storytelling as an art and what goals I set in it.
And speaking of art in a broad sense, I think the self-deprecation with which you call yourself an attention whore is a little uncalled for. There is a large gap between being that and being an artist. Any art by definition aims outwards, to draw attention, to cause reaction (be it praise or disgust), but that shouldn't make you feel bad about yourself. When someone's whining about their ex on the internet, that's whoring for attention. Don't compare your work to that. Be honest to yourself.
Lastly, for the longest time I was hesitant to say how I enjoyed your stuff, thinking you heard those words a billion times before and might have gotten sick and tired of them. But since you just said you haven't, here it is.
Thank you for all you've done for us, Weaver. Rock on.
Just the concept alone of what you were doing excited me to my very core.
You told me before that you felt I was a, "natural," to the format. I don't entirely agree but before I read Ruby Quest I began to write, and plan, and draw. I spent months plotting out maps, and setting up outlines for a handful of settings and stories in preparation that I could very soon create works of the same or similar format.
Once I had finished all of my psychotic pandering and trying to prepare myself to jump into a world I was by no means ready for, I finally read Ruby Quest.
I believe when I started reading it, it was a day or two before the quest ended. When I finished the last thread of it, it had been over for a day or two. I felt so compelled to try something I had not done in over a decade. Dislodge myself from the community I had been in most of my adult life, and try a new place.
I got involved in your work, I got involved in the questing community, I've made an entirely new place for myself and I am far happier than I have ever been in my life. I might not love everything you do, but your words are strong, and I value your friendship far more than I make obvious.
I can sympathize with the strange feelings and accounts over the FA community. I can sympathize with wanting to be anonymous, or at least distant enough and separate your work. I blundered that almost immediately upon joining in. People's ridiculous fiery judgement on the internet is never something to take too much attention into. That's what everyone wants. Your attention. Because you've already got so much yourself, getting your is a valuable commodity.
It's very nice to see you open yourself more honestly, even if a bunch of people made ill found justifications to disregard you. It's safer to just assume they were looking for one if such a small thing triggered an extreme reaction.
oops
:V
Anyway this is an interesting post. So serious! Also I have a LESS THAN STERLING internet presence as well and I am rather aware of it. However the problem is that my various nicks are vaguely tied together here and there and could cause real life problems if say my boss or someone otherwise important and not terribly forgiving happened across this or that. But hey.
Grats on moving past it. It's good you are enjoying art for the sake of entertaining people. Yay Weaver~
I truly do enjoy your work and humor, and I am certainly envious of the skill you have developed even if you would describe it as 'amateur'.
Wow, the guy who uploaded like 70 MLP pictures in a row isn't a great artist?
Hell I think you're a fine artist, certainly better than what i can do.
You do fine work and I've had many laughs with your art over the years, and I will continue to.
Keep on truckin' bro
Quick quick background of how I got here, I first saw several of the mlp pics you have made on ponibooru, saved them all, found your name then followed it here. After that heard some references to RubyQuest, and began reading that.
I read RubyQuest in its entirety within 3 days, all while at work. Working in a law firm, someone is probably mad at that.
With all that I find it very hard to put in words just how much I love and even respect the stuff you make. RubyQuest was fantastically created and had utterly great writing. All of your current My Little Pony pictures have made me laugh, either from guilty pleasure, utter confusion, or both. Your art may not be the most technically reputable or detailed, but it honestly doesn't need to be. You got a pretty damn good reaction from me, and that's the most art can ultimately achieve.
I feel I will only repeat myself if I keep writing, but to wrap this all up I pretty much greatly enjoy/love everything you make. You truthfully became one of my favorite artists, and this Journal entry only makes you cooler, as it shows you're doing what you enjoy.
I'm gonna shut the fuck up now, hopefully that gets read.
It was your silly antics in 4 chan, some what, five years ago? Six? That stuff gave me something in common to catch up with one of my best friends, and one of the few I've kept in touch with for more than ten years. It was both of us discovering 4chan, and your threads, that gave us some common memes and stuff to laugh at together and probably played some pathetically twisted part in the fact our friendship is still going strong after so long.
So thanks for all the laughs. Your stuff got places, even if it's just e-penis.
People lumping each other into categories like that is just an excuse at trying to understand at least a little bit of you, and that's their fault. I don't know you, though I wish I did, I just know what you've done. And what you've done is absolutely wonderful.
From one quester to another, bravo.
Though, on a side note, I'm reminded of a saying about casting your pearls before swine, but ah well~
Because a very similar thing has happened. I wanted to do innocent voice acting on youtube, and keep everything fun and light hearted. Then someone connected my account to the fact that I drew furry porn, and after an elongated "oh how dare you" blah blah thing and me promptly blocking them for becoming EXTREMELY rude and hostile on my youtube shouts, they ran off, tracked absolutely everything they could about me, including my personal life stories, my photos, my parents, my ex boyfriends, whatever they could dig up, and put it all up in an ED article. Half of it is completely inaccurate, and as someone who once used to write ED articles, I know it's considered no longer "lulz" and becomes just plain internet stalking at that point.
The article about me isn't even funny. There's no reason for it as ED articles are SUPPOSED to be about stupid or dramatic people, not 'regular ish person happens to like ponies and draws porn oh noes".
Even the most innoncent of people can get denied a diploma or a job just because someone Googled their name and came up with that one pic where they drunk underage 10 years ago.
My question is why some people are so damn concerned about trival events like these in the past? Haven't they proved their behavior is otherwise by their dedication, performance, and loyality?
Reading over this, one can come to the conclusion that you think because you've drawn "trashy" stuff that you have no integrity. I know that's likely a superficial generalization and I know that it's a bit more complicated than that, but it's also pretty close to something you actually said.
I wanted to say that by doing this you've honestly earned a lot of respect, from me and likely from a lot of other people as well. A great deal of Integrity is not hiding aspects of yourself, of being someone people can trust to behave the same way in private that you do in public. While it is true that parts of being someone with integrity involves "adherence to moral and ethical principles", it also involves "honesty", and that you're being straightforward about who and what you are now smacks of a person who has a lot more integrity than the person who uses multiple email accounts to hide the fact that the guy who did Rubyquest also is the guy "Player One". I'll admit I could do without the My Little Pony sex jokes, but by admitting that that's a part of the works you've created you're identifying something you were trying to hide about yourself before, and that's much healthier.
I'm not entirely sure where I'm going with this. I just wanted to say that in a weird way reading this made me respect you a lot more as a creator, even if I don't necessarily like everything that you've created. If other people start to dislike everything that you are and that you've done just on the merits of SOME of it, then they're missing out on things that they might like. I'd rather evaluate an artist or a writer on their individual works and the thought processes that go into them than judge everything made by someone according to what becomes a percentage of it all.
I dunno if my opinion will matter to you at all on this. I mean, I was going to email it, because I'm private like that, but I couldn't find an email account for you and I'm not really sure if you'd have read an email from a complete stranger, to say nothing about the fact that my screenname is weird. But at the very least I wanted to thank you for doing Rubyquest and everything else that you've done that I enjoyed, because I feel it enriched my life by having been part of it.
You, Weaver, stand out on the crowd.
It does not take skill in art or writing to create something worthwhile.
The ability to plan and adjust are traits I see best in you.
Ruby Quest was what got me into /tg/ and from there I have always been hooked.
Nan Quest, Chee Quest and Cunny Quests have been my favorites so far, and Dive Quest is a pretty light hearted series you've got going.
The fans who stand by you, the ones who enjoy all your stories and patiently wait for you, are the ones you've earned.
As far as I see it, any of your stories could have a human cast instead of a "furry" one and it still could've launched you upwards.
You're bound to get more heat in the future, but as you said before: Gotta love how the crowd reacts.
I would love to talk to ya one day, perhaps like on MSN, but I'm sure you'll be skeptic about a talking to a complete stranger.
Just be the great entertainer you are. =)
I also admire your maturity on this matter; i take my hat off to you. Keep on Rocking.
RubyQuest was probably the ... no, was the first "Quest" I ever read. I loved it. I stayed up for hours reading it. I curled up in my chair and read until dawn and had creepy dreams for days. It inspired me to forum adventures in other places (I'm not fast enough for working on /tg/, cry), and also inspired me to explore some of my own head-stories more in depth. I've never thought of you as "that furry" and I think it's silly that people do; rather, I think you're an excellent story teller who just happened to choose certain styles and characters and has certain tastes. So what?
Keep on bein' yourself. It makes you great. The fact that you make so many people angry - and so many people happy - is just a testament to that.
ummm. what do i even say...?
Fuck people? I guess first and foremost. how anyone on this green earth gets angry over furries these days is utterly fucking beyond me. like we're still living in 06 or something. its the oldest and worst internet fad and i wish we could all be adults and move the goddamn right past it.
i found boxdog on drunkduck a long time ago and have since basically been in love with your work. i followed that until it didn't update anymore, somehow found rubyquest (I think it was linked to me) and fell in love with that. it might be cheesy but, after reading it it sort of inspired most of my tabletop games that i run... I have a group that I've been running an Ironclaw game for the past year that started as a typical fantasy setting but essentially turned survival-horror in which the players never knew what was real and what wasn't- dealt with awful eldritch horrors creeping just outside of societies field of vision... I have to credit rubyquest with a great deal of inspiration. Without it I probably wouldn't have had the profound appreciation for scary things that I do. I've been reading Nanquest lately and I have to say that at one point, while reading it at night here at my home in the Arkansan wilderness, alone, it literally made me too scared to get up and take a piss. To which I can only thank you from the depths of my heart.
There's probably more I can say but it's been said and said and...
anyway.
Fuck people, stay the way you are, you wonderful storytelling motherfucker.
Personally, I enjoy your -content- for what it is, no matter how crude the art itself may be. It's simple, but it gets the job done. And honestly, I really couldn't ask for more from you at all.
Those of us who have stuck around enjoy you for who you are and what you do now, and I think I might speak for a decent amount of the folks watching you here when I say that you're doing well, and for the most part, always have been. No matter if it's Ruby Quest, or if it's just HEY FUNNY PONY FACES, HURR.
I enjoy your art a lot, and I hope you make as many silly and/or perverted and/or serious things as you want :3
I was instantly enthralled. And it scared the FUCK out of me. I never imagined I could be scared of the outcome of a story, but enhanced by seeing it in a partially animated fashion, your story absolutely TERRIFIED me at points. Daisy. Red's laugh. Stitches. When Lucy peers into Upper Lab B for the first time. And then when we discover
whatwho is in there.Once I finished it, it sat in the back of my brain for a very long time. I had so many questions! Eventually I started looking and found some of the forums and dug through some of hem. My curiosity had been satisfied, for the moment. I found myself repeatedly coming back to Ruby Quest over time. The macabre horror, the intriguing mystery, the characters and their stories kept drawing me back in. I wanted to now more.
I don't know why I never bothered searching for you until now. Maybe I just assumed that you intended to remain mysterious and a legacy on the chan boards and didn't re post your stories anywhere else. Eventually I got stubbornly curious and started aggressively searching for as much content i could find about Ruby Quest and decided the best way to do that would be to search out its creator and where I could find them on the internet.
I started searching for some of the antics associated with Ruby Quest, search terms inspired by the TV tropes page like "Thursday Quest" and like search terms. Eventually my search led me to your tumblr and I was extremely happy to find that you had posted content recently and that I had found a method of contacting you directly.
Rooting through your tumblr led me to your FA page and this journal. I want to say that I LOVED Ruby quest, I really like your quick-and-dirty style that you used drawing Ruby Quest, the surprising level of detail you put into images sometimes, like the strange symbols in ruby quest. You have an eye for the dramatic and have a talent for spinning a story that draws people in and doesn't let go. I'm also impressed to learn that you're THE person that started EFG , if this is actually true!
I'm excited to look up what other works you have come up with, eager to see what other works you may have currently in progress, and I hope you continue creating interesting and engaging stories and content for years to come!
I'm not normally into rap/freestyle, but then again, this is no ordinary freestyling.
In a sense...
Weaver. You have changed the world, unintentionally or otherwise. You inspire thought, and where you set out to create, you achieve.
Don't stop. For anything, for anyone. I beg of you.
(Thanks for reading my heartfelt ramblings/cliche egoboosting. Below is the first verse of Hold you head up by Macklemore.)
A friend of mine once told me, We have many paths in this journey
They act in different directions, So when you question don't be worried
It's not a wrong one, Beauty can be found in all of them,
You'll meet people whose paths intersect, But you don't know how long you'll walk with them
Cos the truth is, and it's so hard, but you'll never know, How long we'll continue with our loved ones down this rugged road
The path veers and it's clear that we must steer alone, I've learned if you can't hold on to that moment that exists--
Let it go
Cos freedom is god, Freedom is acknowledging the mask you have on
And possessing the strength to take it off, Freedom is accepting every step of the path
And when it's hard having faith in the ability to embrace that
That's where you are
And this is it
The same shit that we work towards, but go against in the same sense, My friend hit me to some game and truth unravelled, she said
"the brighter the light, the darker the shadow", And since i'm on cliche terms, knowing is half the battle
But i don't know
So i just go with what was destined, Life can be a burden or a blessing
The choice is yours to be connected, It's there if you want it, you got it, now let it.
I just found your work, the stuff is awesome. "high quality" art just seems to lack the same character that mspaint doodles do, you shouldn't feel bad about it. Diversity is the spice of life, and all that...
Just do what you want to do. Some people will like it, some people will hate it. You seemed to realize that is inevitable, so I'm just here to confirm it. Do what you want. We'll all be happier for it, even the haters in their sad way.