Dont say that, you dont deserve to die. Sometimes friends and family can be douches, but they dont necessarily mean to. Everyone has different agendas then others and it can be hard to fit people in all the time. Instead of taking this out on you, you should just relax and think about the situation.

You dont suck and you dont fail. Your just having artist block, something alot of great people get when their mind is on something they cant stop thinking about. You just need to take a deep breath and relax.

Are you going to be okay?

i gotta be.... it doesnt matter if i try to die... there must b somereason im here... i just dont know what... i suck at drawing anyways... i might as well give up...

No no no. You dont suck at drawing. Have you look at mine? lol They are not that good. Your defiantly better then me and I still draw. You do it for the love of doing it, not because your good or bad.

Yeah your here for a reason, and sooner or later that reason will show up. Just dont do anything stupid, because there are people who care about you.

yeah the only ppl who care about me are online... states away.. who have never met me irl...

Theres some in real life, when your upset your veiw of loved ones shrinks. And so what if its just people online? Its a really good start to getting friends in real. Just do what you do on the computer, but in real. Im sure you could make plenty. Friends are friends no matter how you talk to them.

i cant do irl wat i do on the computer... what i do labels me a "pirriah" of sorts... i live in KY

I dont mean exactly, I mean the socializing. Try being a little out there and not so down. The more your down, the more people will see that. You need to be positive hun.

everytime i try i get pulled back down into negativity

Thats the insecurity. You expect it to happen and it does. Its a psychosomatic thing, you cant help it. But if you try to ignore it, just once, to see what happens. I mean your talking to me, a complete stranger, and your not being shy. You slowly stopped using ... and your doing great with the socializing. Think of it this way, you are telling yourself you cant do it. When talking to someone, keep thinking yes, just one word.

Look anytime you need to talk feel free to message me or add me on facebook. I care and am willing to help.