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Crushes/Love - Confusing: Yes or No?
14 years ago
~ 167 days. =ω= ~
Heeeelloo once again audience, when we left off..I might just be alone on this, but are crushes / love confusing? I'm not saying that once you're in love, it gets more confusing.. I mean the process before you seal up that connection with someone special. I honestly cannot say at the moment who I like or want to try dating, but how can I do so when my confidence level is so low that my shyness and sensitiveness makes it bad enough and just blows it out completely? My mind is one to go on crazy imaginations, most ending in me crying sometimes, though nothing with the whole water works, just a few tears and a few sniffles. Now I notice that yes, being single is really lonely, but for some reason, a very small part feels that being single is a good thing. Though I do get often envious/jealous when I see a couple hugging, or kissing, or cuddling with each other, even holding hands.. and at this rate, until someone can accept me and is willing to try dating me for who I am is going to be almost impossible, though that might just be me thinking that.. but I've never really been proven of that fact. Like I said before, about my imaginations, I tend to create scenarios in my head.. well I'm afraid to do anything about it because the one thing that will really suck is getting hurt when the outcome isn't quite what I want, and sadly we all can't get what we want. I'm not trying to sound like a slut or anything else along that word, but I will admit that I do like at least a few guys I know, though not a lot of them will be revealed because I'm sick of getting hurt, and I hate being who I am right now, and based on how these guys find their ideal mate / 'type' probably is nowhere near me by a long shot and might just make it worse in my case... I don't know if I'm just ranting about something as dumb as this or it's because of how tired I am or how much this is bottled up inside me, I honestly don't know what my feelings are right now or know where they're trying to go...
I also created fantasy scenarios between myself and a female I was showing affection for for almost a year. Eventually, when I said the truth, she rejected me. I also had the same jealousy for couples in the days after my rejections. After my most recent female rejection, I just said "Stop Searching." Then, it happened...
I may be falling for someone right now, so yes, I find it even more confusing when a new friend comes along and meets all my expectations... but it's not a girl. (Think Howard and Raj. If you want details, PM me.)
Nothing more attractive than a girl with some confidence!
Unless it's those dickheads who like to control their girls.
But Whitz is single too, you should date him >:3
Some people NEVER learn those things.
Confidence though... is born of effort for most of us. Effort and success. I think most people would agree it's hard to be confident when success does not attend our efforts.
One thing you should avoid though is self-pity. A lack of confidence isn't necessarily a bar to a relationship, but self-pity will kill even the strongest loves.
I can't tell you how you can get confidence. I don't know you, don't know what you've tried or done. I can only recommend that you put your best effort into improving yourself. Don't try comparing yourself to ANYONE, except the person you were yesterday. That way you can look back, see how far you've come, and I think you'll find that you can take confidence from that.
If you aren't making the effort to improve though... what exactly should you be confident about?
Try. Improve. I think if you do that for long enough, love will find you. You don't have to go out looking.