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a little too late..
14 years ago
General
working on:
getting a job,
art trade.
the following may contain:
randomness
stupidity
emotional
ranting;
or slots for art!
As an artists, you wonder if you are good enough. I know I do. I constantatly compare my stuff to the people I admire, wishing that I could be as good as they are. Trying so hard to be them...
The truth is, maybe I should stop compareing myself to the greats and become one.
I realized this truth a little too late. Let my art suffer for it. I've been depressed and really haven't wanted to draw at all. I have someone patiently waiting for a request they made nearly a month ago, almost two months ago.
And even worse, I've let the moral critisism of a friend for some of my stories go right into my heart. Mind you he's more than just a friend, and a care deeply about his say. But I can't write what I really want to right? Because he doesn't like what I love.
The worse part is it wasn't going to be a 'rape' story. It just came out like that. But I can't ever tell him that. Not after the bomb that blew up over it.. I ended up trashing it and another story I was working hard on... Good hard work, wasted...
I was truely bummed after that. And then I went job hunting after that, only a hand full of applications, and the rest of the world wanting 'resumes'. Its a fastfood place hun, no one is going to bring a carefully worded paper about their life to a nicely dressed fastfood joint.
The point is my bad day became a bad week and then a bad month. It didn't help that a pointlessly tortured myself with, 'I wish I could draw as well as him/her.' 'Why don't my pictures come out as great as his/her's?'
Enough! I shouldn't be looking at my flaws... As someone who taught herself how to draw from a young age, someone who doesn't do art class because she's sick of learning how to shade and nothing else, I should be proud of my stuff. I had no help what so ever. I improve on my own still.
Sure I don't have some fancy art degree to back my stuff up, but guess what? Those "people" don't even believe what I draw is true art. Well fuck them, and fuck anyone who thinks I don't deserve some praise.
The problem is, I'm going to forget how smart I was today, and I'm going to wish I could do legs like him, eyes like her, or hips like them. But with a little practice and a lot of frustration, lol, i'm going to out draw a lot of people! Hopefully, when I am in that state, I can come back and read this and remember how fucking good i really can be!
The truth is, maybe I should stop compareing myself to the greats and become one.
I realized this truth a little too late. Let my art suffer for it. I've been depressed and really haven't wanted to draw at all. I have someone patiently waiting for a request they made nearly a month ago, almost two months ago.
And even worse, I've let the moral critisism of a friend for some of my stories go right into my heart. Mind you he's more than just a friend, and a care deeply about his say. But I can't write what I really want to right? Because he doesn't like what I love.
The worse part is it wasn't going to be a 'rape' story. It just came out like that. But I can't ever tell him that. Not after the bomb that blew up over it.. I ended up trashing it and another story I was working hard on... Good hard work, wasted...
I was truely bummed after that. And then I went job hunting after that, only a hand full of applications, and the rest of the world wanting 'resumes'. Its a fastfood place hun, no one is going to bring a carefully worded paper about their life to a nicely dressed fastfood joint.
The point is my bad day became a bad week and then a bad month. It didn't help that a pointlessly tortured myself with, 'I wish I could draw as well as him/her.' 'Why don't my pictures come out as great as his/her's?'
Enough! I shouldn't be looking at my flaws... As someone who taught herself how to draw from a young age, someone who doesn't do art class because she's sick of learning how to shade and nothing else, I should be proud of my stuff. I had no help what so ever. I improve on my own still.
Sure I don't have some fancy art degree to back my stuff up, but guess what? Those "people" don't even believe what I draw is true art. Well fuck them, and fuck anyone who thinks I don't deserve some praise.
The problem is, I'm going to forget how smart I was today, and I'm going to wish I could do legs like him, eyes like her, or hips like them. But with a little practice and a lot of frustration, lol, i'm going to out draw a lot of people! Hopefully, when I am in that state, I can come back and read this and remember how fucking good i really can be!
