*stomps in, and glares about before plunking himself down*
It's my birthday today. And today instead of my usual demand of a fish, I'm going to ask for something very special.

TWO fish. I think I deserve an extra fish because I have been somewhat less angry this year.

Failing that, I will also accept one mate. Only mates skilled at fish obtaining will be accepted. Offers of one fish and half a mate will be gruffed at.

If trickery or chloroform fails, simply show them this note:

WHY YOU SHOULD BE UNI'S OFFICIAL FISH PROVIDER
- He's always smiling and happy
- Trim, athletic build
- Will remove excess fish free of charge
- Tail can be used as a ladder or for crossing short chasms
- Constant mischief means no more boredom