So, every once in a while I have this morbid curiosity that compels me to type weird and terrible fetishes into the search engine here at FA. I am truly dumbfounded how some people can find some of these fetishes sexually appealing.

Now, I have a very open mind, but there are some things that just shouldn't exist and I'm not sorry to say that. Take for instance these violent ones.

Rape and Castration/Penectomy and hard vore

How does anyone find these sexually arousing? I have written all of 2 stories involving rape and they don't represent the norm for what I've seen. Most rape stories end up with the woman (or man) enjoying it. Mine don't and never will. When I write something like that, I don't want people to go "Oh yeah, that was so hot" as one of my characters is raped. I want them to read the story and become emotional for the characters. I actually find it interesting that the two stories I have written with rape have actually gotten quite high views. That only good note to this is that my readers who comment seem to empathize with the female character, which is exactly the response I was looking for.

As for Castration/Penectomy. I'm even more at a loss for words. I've flitted about, read some stories and took a look at some pics, and I find myself almost physically ill. What's even more chilling are the comments below the submission. I have actually shivered after reading such stories and seen comments like "that was so hot!!!" and "I'd love to eat that cock". I guess vore seems to enter into a lot of castration stories. When I see something like that, I'm flabbergasted. I've actually seen one post by someone who shared similar views as mine and asked why people liked that stuff; the only sensible post I've seen so far. Look, I could write a castration story if I wanted. It wouldn't be that hard and after seeing some of those pictures my "writers mind" instantly started putting together one. But here's the difference. Even if I made it sexual, I wouldn't want anyone to enjoy it. I would write it how such a concept would work in reality to the point where I hope my readers would feel physically sick or even cry. ***Oh, and as a side note, I searched for "spay" and haven't found one story or picture (except for "spay and neuter your _____" pics). It seems that people only want to see the balls removed and person raped***

This also goes for the harder aspects of vore. I don't understand vore, but on the whole I don't have a problem with it. Most of what I see, or have read, mostly involves someone being ingested whole through one orifice or another. This includes the really weird, and sometimes comical; oral, anal, and penile vore. I do have a problem with the truly violent vore though. When one character is literally tearing chunks of flesh (or genital organs) off of another character. Again, this occurs in a high ratio with sex and the responses seem to be sexually aroused comments. What is it about a bloody, gory, violent death by mauling that makes people want to wank? I'm not against vore, as a whole, I've used it very lightly in some early stories and it will pop up in an upcoming story, but the vicious stuff is a complete mystery to me.

Now, I know a lot of people will probably go "Eh, it's a sick fetish but you don't have to read/watch it" and normally I agree with things like that. If there is something I don't want to see, I generally stay away from it but I think that these fetishes are rooted in some kind of underlying psychological problem.

What's worse for me, when I see such images or stories, is my very active mind. When I write a story I "become" every character. I feel their pains, their pleasures, their fears. This isn't just for my characters, but for my commissioners as well. I've had several tell me that they can't believe just how perfectly I write their characters' actions, it's like I'm reading their minds. I literally go so deep into my stories that I've made myself cry as I pull up a difficult part of their past, or cause them pain. The most horrible and hard to write story I've ever done was Part 1 of the Mara/Paul arc in UoFC where Mara is raped. To write that 1 story, I had to make my mind go into both Mara and her rapist so that I could produce the most realistic results possible. I never want to get into that mindset ever again. I nearly put myself into a literal rage as I wrote Paul's part as he killed the rapist.

So, from my perspective, everyone who enjoys that stuff has to have that desire deep inside them. For me, that is a very scary thought and hopefully many of you will think the same.

Finally, for any who would like to comment to this journal, please feel free to do so no matter what your viewpoint is. I have never censored a comment and don't plan to do so, but I will delete any comments that break down into abject name calling and hate speech.