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Uploading second scripted journal...
14 years ago
Something everyone should read: http://sneakerfox.tumblr.com/post/6.....912361/subcult
(...as if the first brick joke last journal wasn't enough, I had to do a 2 month long brick joke...which nobody will get...)
Ahem. Yeah, yeah, I know, it's been over 2 months and there's been little sign of me about...scratch that, no sign of me. I'm off on Summer holidays (at long, long last!) so I've got no excuse, seeing as we broke up late last week <_<;
Don't really have much to say. Noticing that even when you want to, it's getting harder to contact people. I do pop up on IM every now and then but I must have horrible timing as 95% of people aren't around whenever I'm on. Haven't done much art or music-wise (or programming, or writing fiction or poetry or anything related to college, university, etc) and after some attempts at sketching today...ugh, I haven't been this bad in years. I mean, I tend to think I'm pretty terrible anyway but ugh, just ugh.
So...I see I've got 1835 new messages here (was kind of expecting more actually), quite a lot of which are probably actually old messages I didn't sort out anywhere from a few months ago to 6 months ago. I should go through them at some point (yeah right).
Artistic spark seems to be gone, I haven't spoken to some people in a loooooong time now, I don't really interact much online or in RL much and well...that probably ain't gonna change anytime soon. I should be around more now that I'm off and I should be easier to contact but the emphasis is definitely on the "should" rather than, say, "will".
If anyone is still reading, hey, how are you? If you could give me some quick updates as to how you guys are either by comment, IM, or email that'd be super (Yes I could search through the journals and whatnot but I'm feeling lazy and it'd be a long trawl).
...
I need rest.
Might upload some unfinished junk (art and music-wise) here at some point this week, look in my scraps.
Ahem. Yeah, yeah, I know, it's been over 2 months and there's been little sign of me about...scratch that, no sign of me. I'm off on Summer holidays (at long, long last!) so I've got no excuse, seeing as we broke up late last week <_<;
Don't really have much to say. Noticing that even when you want to, it's getting harder to contact people. I do pop up on IM every now and then but I must have horrible timing as 95% of people aren't around whenever I'm on. Haven't done much art or music-wise (or programming, or writing fiction or poetry or anything related to college, university, etc) and after some attempts at sketching today...ugh, I haven't been this bad in years. I mean, I tend to think I'm pretty terrible anyway but ugh, just ugh.
So...I see I've got 1835 new messages here (was kind of expecting more actually), quite a lot of which are probably actually old messages I didn't sort out anywhere from a few months ago to 6 months ago. I should go through them at some point (yeah right).
Artistic spark seems to be gone, I haven't spoken to some people in a loooooong time now, I don't really interact much online or in RL much and well...that probably ain't gonna change anytime soon. I should be around more now that I'm off and I should be easier to contact but the emphasis is definitely on the "should" rather than, say, "will".
If anyone is still reading, hey, how are you? If you could give me some quick updates as to how you guys are either by comment, IM, or email that'd be super (Yes I could search through the journals and whatnot but I'm feeling lazy and it'd be a long trawl).
...
I need rest.
Might upload some unfinished junk (art and music-wise) here at some point this week, look in my scraps.
I hate those times where just as you think you've got the spark back, it dies again. I've been getting that a few times this year and it's pretty darn frustrating to say the least. As far as sleep goes, I seem to somehow be suffering from poor sleep despite not usually getting up until 11:00 (or later) now that I'm off and I have no idea why. Granted, I am staying up to between 12:00 AM and 3:00 AM these days but I should still be getting much better sleep than usual. It's a mystery.
As far as status quo goes, I'd say that me falling out of contact with people (and in some cases rather shamefully forgetting about people full stop), being a useless sack of bones and now getting anything done seems to be my status quo these days. You know it's bad when there are people you'd still consider friends who you've been out of touch with for longer than you've been in touch with...
Yeah, I know that feeling too. I have people on here that I still think of as friends that I haven't had any contact with in forever. I've always been terribly bad at being connected with people.
I don't know why I suck so badly at staying in touch: friends, family, acquaintances...I'm actually quite worried about what will happen when I move out. Considering how bad I tend to be at this when I'm surrounded by family, friends in RL aren't too far away and I have to stick to a somewhat normal schedule (as opposed to being semi-nocturnal)...
Well, I don't know how bad it'll be when I'm on my own, but I suspect it'll be much worse >.<
Hey, at least you've got RL friends, haha. I could probably count the number of people I manage to keep in touch with on one hand, including RL and Internet friends. I think I'm in more consistent contact with you than I am with anyone I used to know from school. I certainly don't see any of them since the move several years ago. I can't explain why. I'm just generally bad at people, I guess.
And hey, knowing that other people are going the same thing is helpful enough its own weird way.
You, me, some other people I know... We all became so bored and uninspired, it's just... depressing.
I've had a hunch about the reason - we are constantly bugged by something so we don't feel free, i.e. I and one particular person are working (so I can't really call this year's holidays holidays), you are troubled by this pesky education stuff, future exams and whatnot.
But... damn. NO, that's not it! I look at my past and I see that somehow I've been staying fully creative all the time, even on weekdays, despite spending most of the time in college.
But HOW?! How did I do that?! Why can't I be like that now? Why does it only get worse?
WHAT HAPPENED TO US?!
You probably guess how I want to stop whining and get myself together now... :(
A suffocating smog, constricting and restraining even as the world outside beckons us to do what we do best...
On a brighter and less poetic/metaphorical note, it seems that this sort of thing can be broken, even if only temporarily. Considering I was able to actually crack down late last night/early this morning and get that Samus art done from start to finish with only a few minor pauses, there must be a way for all of us to get into action and get stuff done, even if only for a little while.
Rather than despair, let us try to find the way. As hard as it may be to relax, sometimes whatever is bugging us (regardless of how important it is) is really something we can't do anything about for now and whilst we shouldn't ignore it entirely, we should all take our minds off it once in a while and just have a few moments (hours? days?) of bliss.
Depending on things go results-wise from my exams, I may have a lot of work to do over the holidays too. As it is I already have some stuff I'm procrastinating on bigtime.