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Feel free to just skip this journal, I'm just venting
14 years ago
Ok, you really want to read this? Well, ok then...
Anyway, I just returned to my house after a 7 month internship. During the 7 months that I was gone, I met and starting dating someone. Not long after, he proposed to me. I said yes, as I was quite happy about it at the time.
Fast forward to now. I'm home, he's on the other side of the country. And while I was sad to say good-bye to him, it's started to make things a lot harder for me.
He calls and messages me more and more frequently. On top of that, he's pushing harder and harder for the life that he wants us to have. Specifically, the part with me sacrificing my education and part of my dreams. And the whole "having kids" thing.
In case you didn't know, I want to get a doctorate degree, I want to travel the world and become a writer and teacher, and I DON'T want kids (at least until I'm in my mid 30's. At least) When I tried to push my life forward, all I got was complaining about how he always has to sacrifice in his relationships.
I'm reaching my breaking point with him. On the one hand, I hate breakups, and I do care for him still. On the other hand, my head is screaming at me to let him go.
Then, on another note, I'm back living with my mother. In case you're wondering why this is bad, my mother and I are almost incapable of living under the same roof anymore. It started with our differences in opinion over cleanliness - she is a neat freak, I see nothing wrong with a mess. Then, when I began to look at other living arrangements, she ever so slightly began to tighten her grip on me. The more I try to pull away, the tighter she holds on.
It's to the point where I feel like I'm suffocating, especially after being able to live essentially according to my own desires for most of this year.
I need to leave her too. But again, I don't know how.
Hopefully I'll figure it out soon. If you actually read this, thanks for caring. Or not. Have a sandwich and be on your way.
Anyway, I just returned to my house after a 7 month internship. During the 7 months that I was gone, I met and starting dating someone. Not long after, he proposed to me. I said yes, as I was quite happy about it at the time.
Fast forward to now. I'm home, he's on the other side of the country. And while I was sad to say good-bye to him, it's started to make things a lot harder for me.
He calls and messages me more and more frequently. On top of that, he's pushing harder and harder for the life that he wants us to have. Specifically, the part with me sacrificing my education and part of my dreams. And the whole "having kids" thing.
In case you didn't know, I want to get a doctorate degree, I want to travel the world and become a writer and teacher, and I DON'T want kids (at least until I'm in my mid 30's. At least) When I tried to push my life forward, all I got was complaining about how he always has to sacrifice in his relationships.
I'm reaching my breaking point with him. On the one hand, I hate breakups, and I do care for him still. On the other hand, my head is screaming at me to let him go.
Then, on another note, I'm back living with my mother. In case you're wondering why this is bad, my mother and I are almost incapable of living under the same roof anymore. It started with our differences in opinion over cleanliness - she is a neat freak, I see nothing wrong with a mess. Then, when I began to look at other living arrangements, she ever so slightly began to tighten her grip on me. The more I try to pull away, the tighter she holds on.
It's to the point where I feel like I'm suffocating, especially after being able to live essentially according to my own desires for most of this year.
I need to leave her too. But again, I don't know how.
Hopefully I'll figure it out soon. If you actually read this, thanks for caring. Or not. Have a sandwich and be on your way.
