Now while I'm not a writer by trade I don't feel I'm half bad at it. I've read a few erotic stories that have been passed my way. While I commend those who've decided to try their hand at writing for a few extra bucks, I would like mention a few concerns I've had.

You don't have to be AMAZING at writing or even art to start commissions...with practice you will get there. However, if you don't know what you're doing wrong, you may stagnate and commissions may trickle in or not come at all.

So let's just get right to it. Below is just a quick "scene" I wrote up for this tutorial. I will purposely use the standard technique many erotic writers on FA use. I will then go back and explain why I feel these aren't working. This scene will involve a little tentacle rape. ENJOY!

Original Scene
She knew she shouldn't be walking by herself. This was not a forest she knew. She walked deeper into the forest and heard a loud crash! The loud crash seemed to come from all around her! She heard it get closer so she run. Suddenly a tentacle grabbed her leg! The tentacle was about 10 feet long and 5 inches thick. She couldn't get away! Then another tentacle grabs her waist and breast. She was scared but starts to like it. She moans. The tentacles pull her legs apart and starts to rape her. She moans louder!

Ok....so...pretty standard. We know it's a female. We know she's out of her element and some THING is taking advantage of her. Now, this may get some 13 year old's rocks off but I'd like to think we can do SO much more with this don't you?

FIRSTLY....PRONOUNS!
How many times did I write "SHE"? 10 times! That's just excessive considering the length of the original. Not only that but it's BORING!!!! Remember that you're trying to paint a scene with words. Also, try and not use the same words over and over to describe an event. "MOAN" could have been replaced with other words such as: groan, sigh, squeal, scream, cooed, etc. A teacher once told me, "Never use the same noun/verb/adjective back to back. It makes you sound like you don't know any other words".

Getting lazy/adding details
This is one of my biggest issues. The sentences are so short, dull and lacking any vision. The details we do get are very clinical and don't mesh with the rest of the text. While trying to explain the size of the tentacle could be important for this story we have no other details in which to compare it by. How big is the female? What species is she? If this was a mouse going thru the woods this tentacle might rip her in half! If it were an elephant? This may have been just a casual romp in the forest.

Grammar and spelling
Check both. A spellchecker will only correct the spelling not make sure you used the correct word.

Scene set up
Let us know what's going on! It's your job isn't it?! While it's not unreasonable to assume your readers will fill in some of the details using their imagination asking them to think up the ENTIRE scene begs the question...why read your story if I'm doing all the work? Using our original as the example: is this happening at night? in a damp forest? is it dark? is she in a clearing or being restrained against a tree? Do you see the "fleshing out"? This is standard tentacle rape but with a few key decisions it can feel like a new idea. If YOU were restrained against a tree the experience would be different then if you just laying down in a meadow with flowers. The bark would be rough, the tree wouldn't give under the thrusts. There maybe crushing coming from being sandwiched between the tentacles and the tree. A tree would also paint a much more aggressive scene than say the tentacles merely holding you up in mid air and exploring its victim.

The original scene reads more like a shopping list than a story. The details are sparse and the ones that are there are awkward. The scene is not fleshed out and the juicy bits were completely left out. Let's see if we can rework it.

New Scene
"Is this the right path?" the vixen thought as moved deeper into the forest. Her usual path was normally peaceful and pleasant. The birds would sing along with the bubbling stream. The soil, always soft underfoot, had turned to muddy stones, knarlled grass and pungent fog. The only sounds she could hear was her own, increasing heartbeat. She pressed on, hoping that she would eventually find her way to the other side. As she continued she felt the presence of another. Darting eyes try and pierce the forest but to no avail. "Get yourself together!" she whispered, letting her guard down a second too long.

A sharp crash came from her left and she jerked to identify the intruder, but before she could focus her gazed yet another commotion from the right! Was it a second attacker? The fox was defensive, her fur standing on end and tail swishing aggressively was not enough to detour her hidden assalients. Serpentine forms slid silently through the muck and darkness towards their target. They waited for their opportunity to strike. She flailed wildly, hoping she would land a desperate blow when she felt a moist grasp from under the fog. A slimey arm, wrapped tightly around her ankle, started to climb her thigh. Maybe it was fear, maybe it was instinct, but the vixen immediately dug her claws and vulpine fangs deep into the attackers flesh but it was not phased! Her struggle seemed to spur it on as another tentacle latched onto her waist. This second tentacle seemed different from the first, almost sentient. It refused to stay around her waist but wanted to explore it's newest capture. The coils loosened enough for the tip of the arm to slide between the fox's heavy breasts. It lifted and prodded the vixen's mounds, gently at first but then with frustrated aggression. It was looking for something.

Now....I could go on a finish this story but that's not really the point. I'd like to think I did an okay job and used the advice above.

What details did the second example have that the first didn't? We now have a sense of environment, not too much description of tentacle size but I'd like to think that since we know it's a fox and two tentacles seems enough to restrain that their "big enough" but not macro. We know she was scared before the attack. She wasn't some brainless wanderer who just got caught off guard. Our girl was on edge and not about to go quietly since she attacked back. We also get the idea that the tentacles are somewhat intelligent. While I didn't get into whether she likes it after a bit more prodding we definitely know she's NOT happy about it now.

You don't have to use big words or have a fancy education to write in a similar manner....just be thorough. Read others' stories and keep note of where you get lost or confused. Identify what parts you really liked or felt made the story more real for you. These techniques work with drawing as well.

tl;dr
don't be lazy, commit to creating the scenes and characters
I didn't use spell check but you should
proof read, spell check doesn't check grammatical errors