This is something thats been bothering me for the longest time, something i can never truely analyse from a non-biest prospective, and that thing is myself. I know this may turn out to be whiney or self loathing but its something thats been bothering me for too long and i need to vent this out into words one way or another.

I find it hard to find other people like myself, whether it be a Nintendo core gamer or someone who shares vitiligo, at the end of the day i always feel like the odd one out in any room and alone in any crowd. Is it just me? I can't blame myself for behing physically different or having different tastes to others, but should that really stop me from being social? The only real difference between me and other people that ive found to really make any difference is the fact i don't drink and there for do not enjoy "going out for a drink" with others getting inevitably drunk, but ofcourse this is a once and a while thing so surely i should be fine around others outside these times, but apparently im not.

Ofcourse i can't blame it all on reasons and excuses, it is me too for sure! I cant call myself social, even though i want to be, i often find myself detached from most convosations mostly because i cant apply my mind to them, i find it difficult to bond with people and cant truely care what they have to say nor am i the kind to atleast pretend. I think of myself as a lonely genius when im just an intollerent ass. But let i see people of all sorts, geekier than me, uglier than me, less tollerent than me, all having active social lives and i cant help but wonder what am i doing, am i too nerdy for the cool kids but too cool for the nerds?

I spose the point of this rare journal is a desperate plee to find others who know how i feel, or better yet find others who may even like what i like or every better again! someone who shares Vitiligo, its a strange thing to want i know but ive never had a friend who shares it and though its never effected my life much, it still makes me lonely.