Why is it every day I wake up, I feel a little worse emotionally? Rain usually makes me feel better and it's not done shit for me today. I hate this...just..tired of it. Tired of not being able to define what I want so I can make decisions I should have made weeks or months ago. Tired of not being able to define certain specific details of who I am so I at least have SOME certainty. God, I'm sitting here listening to Vertical Horizon's more depressing songs too, and that doesn't even help. Well, maybe a little. Fucking life can suck my dick. Maybe I'll actually be a real artist and vent my emotions through my art for like...the second time in my life. Though it might worry people. *laughs* I'll have this depressing entry off my list soon enough. Oh, and no I'm not about to go hurt myself in any way, even though this is one of those days where it seems rather appealing, to focus on something that intently. So...yeah..better journal later or tomorrow or..something.