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Please help guys
14 years ago
My best friend is going through a lot of bad times with his boyfriend and I don't know what I can do to help. We live miles apart from each other and well the situation is like this. (for the sake of keeping their privacy I'll call my friend kitty and his boyfriend puppy)
kitty, me and my husband have been playing a game together for a week while puppy plays a different game. we tried encouraging puppy to join us but he wouldn't give the game a chance now puppy is accusing kitty of always being on a game and not interested in him when all puppy does is play on this one game leaving kitty bored and playing mini games.
Puppy keeps telling kitty how he's going to sleep with his ex's and cheat on kitty then will accuse kitty of cheating. Puppy has also locked kitty in a room without food and drink while he was at work. puppy has also beaten kitty up on numerous occasions.
Puppy started last night because kitty was ill and when to sleep. After kitty slept for a little while puppy tipped kitty's bed up to throw him off and dragged the mattress across the room. He also went through kitty's phone and refused to give it back then threw it across the room and smashed it into pieces.
Puppy also seems to hate that kitty talks to me and seems to think kitty is going to leaving him for me (I'm a female and married plus kitty is gay)
I'm scared for kitty as he saw his mum go through this before as well. I don't want puppy to hurt him but if I try to split them it will make things worse. both me and his mum are really worried about him but it seems there's nothing we can do.
does anybody have any suggestions? kitty is too forgiving so he can't stand strong against puppy and me and his mum feel it's going to get to the stage where puppy kills kitty.
kitty, me and my husband have been playing a game together for a week while puppy plays a different game. we tried encouraging puppy to join us but he wouldn't give the game a chance now puppy is accusing kitty of always being on a game and not interested in him when all puppy does is play on this one game leaving kitty bored and playing mini games.
Puppy keeps telling kitty how he's going to sleep with his ex's and cheat on kitty then will accuse kitty of cheating. Puppy has also locked kitty in a room without food and drink while he was at work. puppy has also beaten kitty up on numerous occasions.
Puppy started last night because kitty was ill and when to sleep. After kitty slept for a little while puppy tipped kitty's bed up to throw him off and dragged the mattress across the room. He also went through kitty's phone and refused to give it back then threw it across the room and smashed it into pieces.
Puppy also seems to hate that kitty talks to me and seems to think kitty is going to leaving him for me (I'm a female and married plus kitty is gay)
I'm scared for kitty as he saw his mum go through this before as well. I don't want puppy to hurt him but if I try to split them it will make things worse. both me and his mum are really worried about him but it seems there's nothing we can do.
does anybody have any suggestions? kitty is too forgiving so he can't stand strong against puppy and me and his mum feel it's going to get to the stage where puppy kills kitty.
I can't possibly imagine a single week's-worth of playing a game being the cause of so much foul-play, so assumedly this has been happening over a longer time span. It angers me that so many people seem to subject themselves to such abuse (I mean, generally), but the first step should be to talk about it.
And I don't suggest a five-minute white-wash: I mean a trip for the two to some mildly-populated coffee house with several hours worth of discussions; why is "Puppy" so paranoid, how is privacy invasion or the destruction of personal property even remotely acceptable, etc. There is obviously something wrong with the core of their relationship and if that isn't sorted, nothing is going anywhere.
I'm sure "Kitty"'s done his own share of wrong-doings (what person hasn't?); that would be a good time to clear those out, too. Make sure both parties know thin ice is being skated on, maybe lay some fresh ground rules. Hopefully they can remember why they got together in the first place.
Still doesn't solve things? Effin' leave. The table was set, both parties attempted reconciliation and if that didn't work it obviously wasn't meant to be. By this point, both should be aware of that.
"Kitty" still doesn't want to leave? Either he needs to grow a backbone, is just as wrong for half of the problems (but doesn't want to admit it) or is going to need to learn the hard way.
I probably made this sound like I hate your friend - that's not the case! I just know from experience that rarely are problems ever one-sided (Although it does irritate me greatly when people refuse to leave obviously abusive relationships: "Hope is not a strategy") and this is the best way to ensure a "fair" outcome should they end up splitting.
Whelp; I hope this is in any way useful. Best of luck to him, anyway; hope things get sorted before long.
Kitty does admit when he's wrong which I always admire about him but it seems Puppy wasn't so quick to see what he'd done.
As said though, they had a long discussion and seem fine. Just have to wait and see what happens now.