life and generally everything about it. had a fight somewhat with my gf about some shit. shes stressed im just...well i just want to relax DX i guess in another way im just tired of everything and having to deal with it all. well im stuck here cant really go on a vacation as i have no money. i could stay with some friends but im not sure how that would work out. again there in another state and again how would i get there i dont even have a car or the money for a plane. other then that im just depressed and stressing about shit in my life i hate looking at. i like working at my job though it isnt a job i like nor do i have the option to quit. yea i cant even quit my job. not an option so it its now more like a prison where im forced to work. oh joy im a slave to life of a reality i hate filled with "humans" that should just die or sumtin i dont know. i cant do anything about it and even if i could i dont know how i would do it. why does it always seam to come down to money? X_x

blehblehbleh my life sucks i should just deal with it huh? if i need money i should get a job. i got one but it pays little and i have little hours. then yea i should get more hours. maybe i should work full time instead of part time. yea. i work 20+ hours again ill have a mental break down....AGAIN. if i would 10+ hours ill physically break down. im lucky if i can even walk after a 5 hour shift how am i going to work a full time job salesfloor? i like the people i work for there nice and understanding people but the job itself im not found of really. any job i would like i cant do as i wouldnt know how to do the job. skills what skills? sure i got plunty of half baked skills an plenty pf potential. but thats as far as that goes so yea screwed no matter what i do. im just stuck in a shit hole of a swamp that i cant dig myself out of.....


its really messed up what my mind comes up with when the shit hits the fan isnt it? i get depressed and all the old issues start to show. everything i really dont wanna deal with and would rather much ignore x.x