Well...
To put it simply I found a good supportive master that is going to help me keep sane.
Maybe..hopefully start helping me love myself.
I know many of my friends try their damnedist to help but none is irl.
Now that i have a master in real life maybe....just maybe ill start loving myself.
The cutting issue is going now three weeks.
I don't even notice that i do it now. I know noone truly ever cares so i let it go.

The good things in my life. In most of my classes I have a support of two or three people that
I both care for and know for at least two semesters of college.
I am talking to my counselors about the cutting and depression.
Job corp is helping the best that they can.
the think is that Irl support is what i need since my master has been taking care of me
I am hoping I will start becoming sane again.

My master.
He is a lion,
18 years old
very protective and passionate.
Loving
Straight.
Kind.
Smart and shy.

I never noticed that these things are things i look in both a mate and master until after I found him..

The bad things in my life.

2 Week depression that went away last night.
Smiling hurts in long periods of time.
Suicidal thoughts constantly no matter what.
Be scared of being finally happy.
Being a worry wart of my friends and wanting to still help them even though i am drained myself with love.
Not understanding how others could love such a flawed person.

This is me.. if you don't like me or love the things that i am go away.
No more will i put others first..
No more will i put my passion of love to others.
Remember that you can, also fly alone.
I am not a crutch, I am not a tool anymore.
I am a legendary wolf, I am me.
If you dont want me then leave.
if you dont trust me leave.
If i dont trust you, show me why i should.
Don't just tell me SHOW me.
This is me. Now who are you?