lol i was gonna say DONT use U-haul *has many horror stories*

That'll probably my next question-asking journal. XD "What moving company should I use now that I've finally kicked logic out the window?"

I can tell you for both customer service an costs (out of state moving wise) you should use ANYTHING but U-fail

Well definately don't do what my ex and I did. We moved in together the day we got together. That was a huge no-no. Although we did last for 2 years and just recently split up.
I am a straight female and he was supposedly a bi male who apparently is "gay" and was just using me for sex..../rant.

The DAY you got together? Literally? Holy crap. XD How does that even happen? Did you know eachother beforehand?

Yea. We met at a con and 2 months later he moved here. We weren't going to move in together but being from out of town he was nervous/scared/didn't know his way around. So I moved in with him to help him out. We lived in a extended stay hotel for awhile.

he just used you for 2 years...? i hope you have beaten the crap out of that shithead >__>

Yea...*sigh* and I was too dumb/desperate to realise it. I would love to beat the crap out of him but I don't feel like ruining my life anymore because of him.

yeah, i understand :T
im really sorry for you...

Thanks hun. Him being a douche bag about it is making it a lot easier to get over him...although I'm getting to the point of hating him XD

My boyfriend and I have been together 8 years (I'm female - straight). We moved in together (got a new place for both of us) after about 5 months and have lived together ever since.
I'm not sure if this helps terribly much though, cause we're rather odd ducks. XD

id say once you know your partner well enough its ok to move in together.
in my opinion that time has come once the releationship has become the status quo for both of you, once it isnt "special" anymore and it is completely natural that you spend your time together^^

im bisexual and i were in a relationship with a guy for 5 months, im now single again.

Personally, i think it varies from couple to couple.
Some people are comfortable with the whole sharing their space aspect, while other's aren't, even if they are in seperate rooms D:
My general idea is around a year with the person while spending over nights to get a feel for it, anything before that, i don't think people could quite grasp the whole lack of privacy aspect that comes with moving in with others D:

but that's just my fluffy two cents n.n


and for your lil curiosity thing, i'm a bisexual female who's been in a straight relationship for nearly 3 years :3 still living seperate to my fluffy significant other ;3

I think it's really your own set of morals that should distinguish when a right time is. It doesn't really matter what everyone's opinion is on the subject except your own honestly haha. The best time is when it feels right for you.

That being said, for me I'd say it's different if it's long distance or not. If it is long distance, I feel 6 months is more than enough time. If it's not, a longer wait would be fine then. As long as you got to see each other often, I don't think there's any real rush to move in together unless it is convenient for the both of you.

As for different rooms, I think that'd be a bit odd for a couple to do. I don't see why they wouldn't share the same bedroom. Use the other room as a spare room or a room for some other such things.

I am gay and my boyfriend will be moving in soon. We've been talking about it about 3 months after we had been going out and by the time he moves it it will be almost 7 months. We will be sharing a room, we have a spare room as well, that he uses for art stuffs.

Yeah, you've hit on our issue spot on; it's currently long distance (about 100 miles), so she's spending about 3 nights a week over at my place as it is.

The separate bedroom thing is the part that's a bit weird. We were originally planning on rooming together BEFORE we got together so she could move back into town and get a local job (we've been "just friends" for years), and now we just happen to be sleeping together as of only a couple weeks ago. So I'm just totally upside down now. XD

It seems WAY too soon to move in with a girlfriend, but it'd be fine if we acted like friends with benefits? My poor brain. x_x

I'm not sure there's a blanket answer to this question, but I will say that your attitude can definitely affect the outcome.

If you go into it thinking, "We'll give it a try, and if it doesn't work out, we'll just go our separate ways," then that can be really unhealthy. It essentially provides an exit strategy for the relationship and - perhaps subconsciously - there's this idea that you'll be okay even if you break up. If you're going to commit, then commit totally; you'll be more driven to make it work.

So, I think my answer is, move in together after you believe there's no chance you'll ever want to move out. And good luck. :)

That's a good way of putting it. Thank you. X3

My girlfriend and I moved in with one another shortly after we'd begun dating long term. (she was being kicked out of her own home so it was a zero choice sort of deal) Definitely in a lot of ways TOO SOON.
It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be, actually. Though, I feel it helps a lot in a way since we are both female.
It's kind of difficult to say when is a right time to move in, honestly.
We've spent the night (a couple of nights in a row as well) together, but it's different when you actually live with them and see the good and bad on a daily every basis which can get frustrating.
But going on living together for a year or more now, I feel like we really know each other, better than ever.

I would imagine the best advice is to do it when you and your partner are most comfortable and understand what living together means and the responsibilities to uphold.


Like, I'm messy and my girl's neat. Sometimes ya just bash heads with living habits! xD

I'm kind on the other end of the relationship that shebawolf145 was in. I had to move in with my ex when we got together. It was honestly more to get away from a very bad living situation with my former roommate at the time (he was very violent, wound up throwing a table at me. police got involved, I moved out).

I wasn't really ready for the relationship, but I didn't have anywhere else to live and I let her know I was bi, and not really sure of myself. 2 years later, turns out I was actually gay, and the relationship wasn't going to work. I was graduating from college at the time, so it worked out for me to move out. Took about a year before we got back on speaking terms, and even now we almost never do talk.

woooow...that sounds so familiar. My ex was needing to get away from a bad situation too. I guess it just hurts that he used me for 2 years...he let me get too attached to him only to break up with me. He left me August 31st and just moved out of my apartment yesterday.
The worst part...we have a son, so I can't just get him out of my life...he'll still want to see our son.

Ouch. I was fortunate enough that we never had any kids. I honestly feel bad for the way things worked out between me and her. She's a good girl and I feel she could have been a really good friend. Things were just rushed way too much, and despite my efforts to make the breakup as amicable as possible, it still wasn't clean.

It's always a shame when things go badly like that. I'm sorry to hear about the situation you're left in :(

Thanks hun, I wish things worked out with me and him even though he was sort of a jerk. Him and I are still on speaking terms but it hurts me when I see him.
He wanted to be friends, but I don't think I can.
Mind if I watch you? You seem like you have a good head on your shoulders.

after something like that, being friendly again is sometimes impossible. Speaking is definitely a step in the right direction tho. Also, you're more than welcome to

The general rule of thumb is 6 months into the relationship. I'm straight, and currently not in a relationship. but in my opinion it makes sense, be it that you known each other for the 6 months, their quirks, etc. and if the relationship is serious enough, take it to the next level by moving in together. "Too soon" would be like, if you've been in any type of long distance relationship where you don't know them in a locally, personal manner. Or, just right off the bat move in. If you're looking for time: I'd say three months is pushing it. Relationship growth-wise: Deep understanding, good amount of trust where you have each other's backs if shit hits the fan on a personal/emotional level.

all in opinion, though.

This Google Search and the number one entry on this article might help you out.

I've been in a sorta long (we live a state away) distance relationship with my fiance for almost 3 years now. I'm female, he's male. We wanted to move in together when it was a year in, that didn't work out because we found a better solution (he was going to move in with me because of home issues). Then the year and a half after he was for my last semester at college. That didn't work out because it was to be too difficult. And I thought, yanno even though we see each other once a month, and spend our summers and breaks together, we weren't completely ready at that time.

Now this past summer was a great experience. Less bickering than the year before, everything flowed together easier, we were in better states of mind. And so I know we are ready to move in with each other after I finish college. (I graduate in December, we are getting married in January)

I think it's best if a couple to a few years have passed (no matter the orientation or gender) depending on if you bicker, can work together with money, and work together with chores and things you need like groceries and sleeping in the same bed together every night. If you have been able to work out problems and work as a team, I think it's a good time to consider moving in if you are financially stable enough and mentally prepare.

The fact that you are questioning, "Is this okay?" MAY be a warning sign that you aren't ready. When you are ready, you will know. Because your relationship will speak for itself and the comfort of the situation will speak for itself. I've known couples to move in with each other in the first 5 months and their relationship goes downhill because they just don't know each other that well at all enough to work together in a household.

I hope what I have said helps. :)

I think it's important for the move to come because of reasons unrelated to the relationship alone. Like you decide, "y'know it would be easier for us to live together rather than living alone(travel and expenses wise)." Not so good as a "well, we've been dating so the next step is living together."

I moved in with my now husband after 3-4 months of dating(we're both bisexual polyamorous and have been together 4 years now), we'd tentatively agreed on it earlier for the sole reason that his roommates had all bailed on him so he'd be having trouble keeping his place(also, my roommates were looking at moving around then as well).

As long as the actual moving in TOGETHER isn't the big deal part of it you're probably safe. If you're already comfortable around each other you're probably good.

I think that really, it depends on your personality and personal culture, and that of your significant other as well. If you two have seen each other and get along well enough, and are committed to one another, then I don't see a problem in moving in with one another from a matter of a bit under a year or earlier. It's a big leap, but life is always going to be full of big decisions that one will have to make at some point in time. I wish you and yours the best! (Also, I see nothing wrong with U-Haul since it's essentially just you borrowing a vehicle--from personal experience I would say to stay clear from companies that move for you, because they will use every loophole possible to not be responsible for things they damage.)

If it helps, I'm single and....I dunno, I kind of dislike labels to describe people's personal feelings and such. I am attracted to men, but have only ever loved one other female and don't have attraction to others.

Dont use U-haul. Just get some friends to help. Cheeper and beter.
As for a relationship. Make sure you know the person for at least a couple years and have spent a lot of time with them to know who they really are. Ive read some really sucky journals on FA about it all going south. Good luck on it.

Love the Y'all bit XD

My husband and I met online in early Jan. 2009, and in April he moved from Washington to New Hampshire so we could physically be together. We kind of new right away that, even through the bad stuff, we new we could make this work.

Even I admit now that our relationship was a little fast-tracked. He moved int hat April, and by August we got married. :x We now have a 1 1/2 year old daughter and just celebrated our second anniversary. We fight, it's normal. We can't always agree on everything, and if we did, one of us was probably lying.

Straight & Married.

It really varies. My bf and I have been living together for about 5 months now, and it'll be two years at the end of this month. Other people I know have been together much longer and are totally freaked out by the idea. It just depends on the couple.
Sam and I pretty much saw each other all the time anyway. In my first year of Uni (where we met in the first week) I had HORRIFIC flatmates, so I pretty much lived with him anyway (5 days/nights a week).

My brother just moved in with his girlfriend of less than a year, and they seem happy enough =3

I'm a straight female btw.

Whats the longest you've spent next to them for an extended period of time?

I'd say first have atleast 2 years under your belt for moving in. But also make sure you've gone like a full week staying in the same place with them.

We've spent about 2 weeks together a couple times (before we were a couple), and she already stays with me about 3-4 nights/days a week now (she lives about 100 miles away, and stays with me on her days off). So the transition certainly wouldn't be a sudden thing.

Thats a good start.

If you do go through with it, make sure both of you have a back up plan if it doesn't work out.

Do NOT go with U-Haul.

And...a fair amount of time before taking the plunge is anywhere from 6 months to a year.

If you can stand a few days together, like over a weekend? You should be fine for the long "haul".

Again, do NOT use U-Haul. ^^

I would say at least a year, personally. The issue with moving in is that if things don't work out, it can be very hard to break up. A relationship should have a lot of time before such a big step is taken. But that's just my opinion.

well, with me, I'm a gay guy and...i think with planning, it's easier than just going on the whim of the wind. I've spent three years with the same guy, but we've never actually lived together, except for a 10 day streak, lol. Go with what you feel, but make sure you know what you're feeling.

Well lets see.. I met my guy in high school and was with him for a year until my mum retired and we moved a couple states away, but we were still together two more years until he moved in with me (in my parent's house) and it's been a year. Soo we've been together for 4 years, going on 5 now.
I'm pansexual genderqueer and he's straight.

Though there really is no right answer. Some people just click, others have to work at it, and for some a couple months is all it takes and others years. Just got with what you two feel would be best, don't overload one another or anything. If one of you isn't sure then that might be an indication that it isn't the right time yet.

Pansexual female engaged to a straight male.

Met online in November of 2005, met in person and began a relationship in July of 2006. Moved in a year later, 2007. Bought a house together in July 2009. Engaged in February 2010.

I think he moved to my state too soon, but I think everything else progressed at a good rate.

I think it would be totally fine to split rooms and once you're more comfortable with the relationship, share.

I (pansexual in a gay relationship) moved in with my now-husband after only about three months of actively being interested in each other, and we both went into it figuring that we'd test it out for a week and go our separate ways if it didn't work. We'll be celebrating two years together in January. It isn't about time as it is about how well your personalities mesh together. If you've got a really, really good thing going and it feels solid, go for it.

I dunno if it's fair to say that having an exit strategy is a sign that there's a subconscious lack of commitment, like another commenter suggested. In fact, I'd say having a backup plan when you're moving long-distance to live with someone is a very healthy attitude, because nothing would be worse than pulling up stakes and moving so far away only to have things disintegrate and leave you out a roommate and stuck in a strange place.

I am openly bi, though almost all of my "girl"friends have been female to male transgendered, and most knew it.

Don't worry about "too soon" - if, and only if, you have two bedrooms.

Two bedrooms is far better than one. Think safety valve. No two people are ever perfectly compatible under every possible situation. Being able to escape makes fighting optional rather than unavoidable. It also makes plenty of time available for reflection and calm resolution of disagreements rather than irreversible blowups. My FTM partner of over 40 years and I still have rare dust ups, but we we each have our own room in our large home, and time heals all wounds. Separate bedrooms are the best investment that you can make for a long and loving relationship. Been there, done that.

My partner, BeastInShow:
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/970536/

Two bedrooms is a relationship saver!

You're quite possibly the only person who hasn't looked at me like I was crazy when I said I was going to move in with my girlfriend and not share a bedroom with her. XD I feel so much less insane now. Thanks so much for your input!

I second this especially if you or your gf have any kind of sleeping issues (medical or not) my dragon has a bunch and most of our disagreements are over one or the other not getting enough sleep because the other person kept them awake all night. ><

We don't really, I just like my personal space and am really hesitant to relinquish it. >_>;

...Except she lets her dog sleep on her bed, and I do not let mine sleep on mine (nor will I let hers sleep on mine). X3 So this way her dog stays happy. Pffff.

Delighted!

I think that being able to separate for an hour or a day is a hell of a lot better than either separating permanently or not at all.

Emotions - including anger, irritation, and want-to-get-away - are all due to biochemistry in the limbic system. The limbic system is often called the reptile brain because it hasn't changed significantly in the past couple of hundred million years. (The limbic system is also the seat of love, lust, friendship, the desire to protect, pair bonding, and much more.)

When two people get into a hot emotional mess, it can take a few hours for the neurotransmitters (such as noradrenaline - nature's speed {only one atom different from methamphetamine!}, the brain's version of adrenaline) to be metabolized away. Two rooms can greatly facilitate this. BeastInShow and I have an understanding; if either of us says "go away", we each stay out of the other's bedroom until invited to return. Because we both have this option, we rarely have to use it, and almost never for more than a few hours. Think safety valve. No two people are perfectly compatible 100% of the time. An easy and almost costless way to separate for a few hours may be a vastly better alternative than splitting up permanently. Make "got-to-get-away" as easy and cheap as closing a door and hanging a "do not disturb" sign on the doorknob. The easier it is, the easier it is to learn how to get along so that you rarely have to use it.

Rent your home for several years rather than buy together immediately. Two bedrooms will make it far more likely that your relationship will last. If you are still together after eight or ten years, then buy - but have a written property agreement before you do. This sure has worked for me.

bisexual poly female married to a bi dragon here =3 we have a very selective open marriage
I met him back in nov 09 and we lived so close that I stayed over alot. we joke that I came over and never left. I officially moved in janish of 09 and we got married feb of this year. We got lucky meeting each other since we both have very similar past relationships knew what we wanted and how we operate. We have never fought yes there are disagreements and moody times but we talk it out and really with anything that is the most important thing.
My suggestion is if you can stay with your SO in a living situations (not moved in) for at least a month so you get past that infatuation and really know what its like to live together but that is just my experience every relationship is different.

as for what moving company Budget is great they are the cheapest and were wonderful to work with.

I am a straight female living with my ever-so-slightly-bi boyfriend.

My boyfriend and I started out online, and dated online for about 2 years. After the first year of online dating, he visited me, and over the 2nd year I visited him twice. Throughout our online dating, it was an emotional struggle. Was very tough, dealing with a lot of arguing, misunderstandings and whatnot, but the one thing that kept us together was talking about everything so everything got fixed/solved.

As soon as I graduated high school, in the middle of the 2nd year together, I moved in with him and his mom. We share a room, but sleep separately as his mom will not allow us to get a large bed to share. The first year of living with him was bumpy. I think it was just that neither of us were used to being together so much, but by shortly after the first whole year of living with him, everything settled down. Everything between us is great. The only thing we would change right now that would make our relationship better is getting our OWN place without his mom being with us. (Which we've been trying to do since I got here, but the job market's been bitchy and it's expensive to live. ;-; ) We've been together for 4 and 1/2 years now. C=

So honestly, if you know what kind of person your partner is - to the core, I think you'd do fine living with your partner.

(female, gay, achingly single.) After a couple of years. A year minimum, I'd say--moving in is a big step, but it isn't like you're getting married. If you have a falling out it isn't too late to separate. It's also good to see how you work together in a home setting before you do commit to the other person fully.

ive had one at 3 months into and one at 1 yr into...both lasted 4 years afterwards. m/m

I'm a bi female, and my mate's a (from what he says anyway) straight male. We met through friends and started dating in October of 2007 and I think it was April of 2008 that he moved into my apartment? He had previously lived near his college campus and it was a 30 minute commute to visit each other, so once he was more or less finished with school that term it made sense to just have him move in.

We ended up getting married September of 2008, and while we've had (and are having) our ups and downs, living together has been more or less a breeze. It helps that he's fairly easygoing and adjusted well to my OCD/Anxiety issues, though. The best thing to remember is that BOTH of you will have to adjust to having the other person in 'your' space- this requires a lot of forgiveness over stupid things, most times.

Grats on considering this step, it seems like you've given it a lot of thought, and as you said above she spends several days in a row at your place anyhow, when she's off, so it won't be much more of a transition. I think it's wise to have separate rooms- now that my husband and I have transitioned to that (though he still sleeps with me at night, every night), it's nice for him to have his own space if he needs it and to have his clothes the way he wants, et cetera.

Good luck. :)

p.s. I don't know why everyone says UHaul sucks- we've used them for JUST ABOUT EVERYTHINGGGGG and have never had an issue. :X

You'll know.
When you're spending the whole day with them and you want to be by them even longer, you'll know.

Female in a straight relationship (I have no idea what I am, but that's the part that matters to you right? xD) and I was in a Long distance relationship for almost 3 years before I moved in with my bf (and his parents, so this may not help you?) We had visited each other and talked EVERYday for some amount of time so we knew a crap ton about each other. It is different living together of course but it sounds like since you do spend a lot of time like that already you've got a good start.

Honestly I don't think being in separate bedrooms is all that weird. At first, we started in bunk beds and I certainly need another room for all my crap xD It didn't last very long, but we did start that way xD

Its been a year and I can say the biggest thing for us is laundry getting done, space for stuff (clothes, books etc.) and our different sleeping styles. So, talk it all out first if you haven't already so you two are clear?

And I shipped all my stuff in the mail but it was a much larger move, can't really comment on U-haul.

Also, its good to hear from you!

It really depends on the people involved, there's no set standard for this kind of thing because every relationship has different dynamics. I'm a straight female, met my partner online and kept in touch for about 8-9 months before I flew out to meet him. We spent two weeks together, and when we got together again 4 months later it was for our wedding. Everyone said we were crazy, but we just celebrated our 5th anniversary and couldn't be happier :)

Kobi and I dated long distance (read: 1000+ miles) and dated for about 2 1/2 years before moving in with each other.

For the record, I'm gay and we've been together for 6 years.

I'm gonna say from personal experience: Seperate bedrooms and when you've been seeing her often enough that you know how she lives in general (not just the rare afternoon visit). I don't actually technically have a mate at this time but my wingsibs are pretty damn close.

Also, beware of Budget and leaky roofs. Strangely we've had cosistently good luck with Uhaul, but that's only been in-town.

If you're financially stable enough to move back out and live on your own (if things go south) and it feels right then there's no reason not to. As long as you don't put yourself into an "aw crap now I'm stuck" situation, there won't be any harm. Even if the relationship itself has problems, just remember that things like arguments, lifestyle disagreements, break-ups, heartbreak, etc. don't last forever and they aren't going to effect on you in the long run. If it's something like "I hope we don't fight too much" but you feel in your heart that you want to move in with her, don't let that hold you back from at least trying. Just don't get into a situation where one of you might end up homeless or broken-up but still stuck living with each other.

I'm bi leaning homo. I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years. Officially lived with him for 2 years. We met in high school and we moved in together as soon as we graduated. Before then, though, after we had been together for like 6 months I practically moved into his mom's house and lived there with him. So we've kinda sorta lived together for like 4+ years.

As different as relationships can be, so different can be the answer to that question. While i wanted to move in with my first mate close to a year (10 months) of relationship, and it would have perfectly fit because it also would have been a mutual thing on living in there (did not come so far, anhow *sighs*), i had another try afterwards, where i just asked myself, if i even WANT to move with him, if there wouldN't have been the financial factor on his side this time (so nothing mutual this time, more a one sided Problem, again because of my job and distance not happening). Now, i am in the state, that because of my Job a relationship only would be posible, if the person already lives close to me, or would be willing to move in with me, as otherwise seeing each other would become rare...

Also, i have a friend that fears moving in, though having a wonderful relationship on distance for almost 3 years now...

As i said: varying like the relationship itself. Best thing: use a holiday to try out living together...

Am a straight female living with my bi boyfriend, moved in with him and his dad after about 6 months. Been with him just over a year and a half now and am happy here :3

There's a sort of a joke that says furries bring lube and a U-haul on the first date. I have never seen it end well. Something like this is a variable thing though and I dare say it's very subjective depending on how long you've known the person, the extent of your contact, the circumstances that may necessitate it and so on. Anything inside the 6-month mark is a bit of a red zone and you're taking a huge risk. Six months beyond that is a "yellow zone" and you should simply be cautious and weigh everything before making a decision. After about a year or so that's when it's safer. Just like marriage, regular relationships tend to be rocky and unsure during the first year you're together.

For what it's worth, my boyfriend and I didn't move in together until probably 6 years after we initially met. He lived in Louisiana until then.

All relationships are different and you have to feel this out. Seeing that you have a past relationship that wasn't official it seems taking a more casual approach would be ok. Perhaps having a conversation with her would be the best way to know how to handle this.

The only difference is that you live with you partner the 24 hours and if you don´t know that person well enough perhaps you would have problems with her way of being indoors.
And if It´s too soon or not,it is each issue.

Well, this would probably be a question I would like to ask myself too, really.

My late boyfriend officially moved into my apartment a few months after us getting together, but was really living with me what seemed like maybe a couple weeks after. Then the lease ended on the apartment he was last in and his room mate moved. His room mate was his ex boyfriend so he was already living on the futon in the living room.

Now I have been living by myself for about 5 years before this happened and have been loving it. I was a bit annoyed / hesitant at the concept of what was going on. Before he officially moved in I would occasionally ask him to stay at his apartment for the night so I could be alone. I am extremely introverted and so being around someone 100% of my time gets me very stressful.

Now we recently broke up with each other, ~8 months later, and he the one sleeping on my couch in the living room. He doesn't seem to have anywhere to go, and cannot really support himself. He's in need of a caretaker. Since I fear what his like would be like if he didn't have one I gotta be that for him, mates or not.

If things had worked out more ideal and he already wasn't feeling like he was being kicked out of the apartment he was last living in, I would not have had him move in with me at all when that happened. Due to the situation is was hard for things to remain stable when he wasn't stable.

Well, my girlfriend moved in with me after we'd been together 5 months. Before that, she lived 9 hours away, and that was just killer. Sometimes I wish we'd waited a little long, and sometimes I'm glad we moved in together when we did.

I'm a lesbian, and she and I have been together 5 years. We've never had separate bedrooms, so I can't really offer advice on that. Our first apartment was the size of a freaking closet - the only private space was the bathroom, so if we ever fought and didn't want to be in the same room, you'd find one of us in the tub, lol. We didn't fight much, though, and don't really fight much now - though we've got a lot more space to breathe in!

My mate and I moved in after about a year and a half of a long-distance relationship. We'd only met face to face like three times, and shared a room in his family's house. It wasn't TERRIBLE, but was definitely not an ideal situation. Those Eires are LOUD