FA+
Shop
Disturbing Realization in 3... 2... 1...
14 years ago
TWO WEEKS AGO.Soooooooooooooooo there I was, down for the weekend, visiting my folks. As I flop down onto my mother's sofa, I notice some kind of odd, freaky-deaky wisk-like device on the cushions. http://www.tesco-shopping.com/hmleft_med.jpg
Naturally, I ask her "What in the WORLD is this??" she tells me that it's a head massager, and that she'd bought it the other day for her boyfriend. I stare it over, wondering how it works, and she demonstrates it on me by pressing it down on my scalp and letting those little wires and their plastic bulbed tips run all along my head.
It actually feels pretty dag-gone good, so I ask her where she bought it at. She replies vaguely "Oh... some shop I was at while out of town awhile ago."
YESTERDAY.Soooooooooooo there I was with some friends, heading down the street, looking for a good restaurant to go eat at, when we happen upon a sex shop. Just for shits, and also, possibly some giggles, we decide to take a wee detour inside.
All of us head in and marvel at all the piles of porn paraphernalia. As we penetrate deeper into the shop, just past the shelves of dildos, clitoral stimulators, penis-shaped novelty masks, boob shaped stress balls...
... I see a rack full of these: http://www.tesco-shopping.com/hmleft_med.jpg
............................
It's a pretty common massage accessory though, don't go imagine weird pervert stuff with it :p
But thanks, of course. :3
Except maybe "AUUUGHFUCKNOOOOOO!!!!" and then get kicked out.
If that's a sex toy, and she used it on your head, then, duuuude, Claude's little Claude must be gi-fucking-normous for that thing to be used to stimulate, unless it's one of those whip-like spatulas, that kind that leaves marks like bullet grazes so when one sees it you can go "Yeah, Jason Statham? Fuck that bitch, I'm the real fucking deal!", YES THE CANANADANSPORTER! "He's sporting wood, IN CANADA!".
*shudders* Anyways, I... *shudders* ... woo. Okay, so I'm... damn, hold on. *shudders* Yeah so... fuck. *shudders* ... I think we're going to have to pick up this discussion when these tremors of disgust stop. Say... sometime next month?
.. just feels really weird and tickled.
Makes for a neat hat, too! :3
AUUUGH!!!
*Goes off to find some loose bricks*
*hugs and gives chest/bellyrubs*
UGH, i hate the way they feel! They freak me out, lol.
I dunno, I rather liked the sensation. I'm just note entirely thrilled with the associated thoughts that come with it, now. :s
They really are JUST scalp massagers, so its kinda weir that a sex shop would have 'em.
but still... hilarious XD
OH man you have NOOO idea what those damn massagers do to me >.>;;
If so... please don't tell me what that is. ^^;
Of course they *would*, but is it pleasant to contemplate?
The HORROR.
il se passe des trucs étranges
*Se lave son cerveau avec du javex.*
There's nothing wrong with your mom having a healthy sex life (not that she should be sharing it with you even by implication--then again, parents LOVE doing that to their grown kids). What is more disturbing (but also makes me LOL) is the points others have made--that not only was she using on you something which could be used sexually (mixed signals indeed), it was something that she had been using before with her boyfriend. Squick. I mean, even if said boyfriend was hot, he's still YOUR MOM'S BOYFRIEND.
*hugs* I hope your mind will recover soon bro!
... actually, no, wait, that could backfire horribly. :S *Images a scenario where one day he gets a notice on FA telling him that BioxzMom is now watching him.*
Anyways, thanks. xD I'm sure I'll get over this in a few weeks, when inevitably some other horrifying epiphany manages to creep up on me. :P
Well I for one hope it is driven out by some wonderfully happy (or better yet, arousingly sexy) epiphany. ^_^
Ironically, I'd have actually preferred being molested publicly at those at mall kiosks. Somehow, it'd have made for a less creepy experience. :/
Sinon a chaque fois que tu utilisera ce merveilleux objet, pis le fait que tu me lai fait essaye oui il est merveilleux XD, tu pensera a ta mere en train dachetr dautre chose dans le meme genre de boutique :P
:P Mais blah... un petit lavage de cerveau avec de la biere, l'alcool, et des drogues illegales, et j'oubliera tout, alors que je pourrais utiliser cette machin en santé mentale. xD