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Father's Day quality time, in all the gory details...
11 years ago
((Fair warning, gross shit lies in the story ahead.))
"Hey, dad? That lump on your back looks a lot bigger than it was the last time I was down."
"What? Oh, no, it's fine."
"No, I mean really, it looks bigger. It's poking out the back of your shirt like an cyst or something. Can I take a look at it?"
"It's FINE. It's nothng. I don't feel it, it doesn't hurt."
"If it's nothing and it doesn't hurt, then there won't be any harm if I take a look at it, then, right?"
"ALL RIGHT, all right, whatever, go ahead."
....
"... AAAAH, FUCK!!"
"What??"
"It just squirted all over me!!"
"What?? No it didn't!"
"Dad, LOOK at my fucking shirt!"
"I... oh, ew! There is NO way that came out of me."
"Do you want me to take a fucking picture of it for you?!"
"... yes."
"For the love of..." *Click*
"You... you didn't photoshop that or something, did you?"
"How in the hell do you think I could have photoshoped a picture I just took two seconds ago??"
"Okay, okay! Geez. Fine, go ahead and try to... what... what's that smell??"
"THE PUS COMING OUT OF YOUR BACK WHO'S EXISTENCE YOU REFUSE TO ACKNOWLEDGE!!" >:V
"Hey, dad? That lump on your back looks a lot bigger than it was the last time I was down."
"What? Oh, no, it's fine."
"No, I mean really, it looks bigger. It's poking out the back of your shirt like an cyst or something. Can I take a look at it?"
"It's FINE. It's nothng. I don't feel it, it doesn't hurt."
"If it's nothing and it doesn't hurt, then there won't be any harm if I take a look at it, then, right?"
"ALL RIGHT, all right, whatever, go ahead."
....
"... AAAAH, FUCK!!"
"What??"
"It just squirted all over me!!"
"What?? No it didn't!"
"Dad, LOOK at my fucking shirt!"
"I... oh, ew! There is NO way that came out of me."
"Do you want me to take a fucking picture of it for you?!"
"... yes."
"For the love of..." *Click*
"You... you didn't photoshop that or something, did you?"
"How in the hell do you think I could have photoshoped a picture I just took two seconds ago??"
"Okay, okay! Geez. Fine, go ahead and try to... what... what's that smell??"
"THE PUS COMING OUT OF YOUR BACK WHO'S EXISTENCE YOU REFUSE TO ACKNOWLEDGE!!" >:V
https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u.....615_162643.jpg
it could look a LOT worse though. like a huge boil that's a inch or few in diameter...
glad you took care of it for him though dude. better sooner than later kinda thing
But to make sure it never comes back, he'd probably need to get it excised. That said, I don't think there's any danger of infection.
Thanks, though. Not really worried, just mostly annoyed with how stubborn he's being about this.
nice to hear you guys got it taken care of though.
And thanks. I did what I could, but still told him to have someone look at it just in case. ^^;
i agree there on the runts being made to take down the giants! XD haha, if my mom weren't half crippled, i'd be a lot less amazed though :3 it's like her bad back and knees just dissipate completely! XD
Seasoned popper? Why does this suddenly sound like that one episode of Seinfeld?
"PIMPLE POPPER M.D.!!"
High five for knowing that episode too! Just aired again last night too! XD
You think it is serious?
Yeah, sure, I'll just tell this tale over there, and maybe the "dad" element will also bring in the incest fans. :P
... see, I started writing that sarcastically, but midway through, I realized that's probably a real thing. D:
"No, you're just a little nauseous. It'll pass."
"Honey, I think I'm pregnant."
"It's winter. You've just put on a little weight is all. Don't worry, you'll lose it in the summer."
"Honey, I'm... ooof... pretty sure I'm giving birth!"
"No, that's just some indigestion. Just go ahead and poop it out, and..." *Baby cries* "... shit."
"Let's call him Bioxz!"
man, what's it with dad's and having these nasty things growing on their backs? I swear my dad has something as bad if not worse on his for some time now... but I can't get him to do anything about it (he won't even get a colonoscopy like he oughta, given his age)
Also, thanks to the internet and Tosh.0 and shows like that, I've seen many more that were way worse, and even if I was into eating mashed potatoes I doubt that would have deterred me from doing so.
Cool on you for getting that Seinfeld reference in there, man, he did not even think of skin cancer when he made that remark. Dermatologists don't just handle a bad case of pimples and zits.
So, how exactly did you manage to see the darn thing in the first place? seems you said he was wearing a shirt, so it's not as if he was going around without his shirt on when you were able to notice it...
And the thing was big enough that I noticed the lump bulging out the fabric of his shirt like he was trying to smuggle something. In the sunlight, it cast a very noticeable shadow, like in the way normal back muscles don't. Kinda surprised no one else was bugging him about that. :P