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So you wanna know what's going on?
14 years ago
“It is naively assumed that the fact that the majority of people share certain ideas or feelings proves the validity of these ideas and feelings. Nothing is further from the truth... Just as there is a 'Folie à deux' there is a 'folie à millions.' The fact that millions of people share the same vices does not make these vices virtues, the fact that they share so many errors does not make the errors to be truths, and the fact that millions of people share the same form of mental pathology does not make these people sane."
Laptop Fund:100/400(450)
Laptop Fund:100/400(450)
Apparently some people have a problem with the fact that I don't talk about the problems in my life, and the effects they'll have on my friends and family. This is because my best defense in these situations, is to NOT GET ANYONE ELSE INVOLVED.
So, a little update on my life. For the past few months I have been off of messengers, mostly because I am under a lot of stress, and have anxiety attacks on and off because of the whole hedgehog situation. And even though I have it now, im still having these anxiety attacks.
"Why not just take medicine?" You may ask...because It isn't diagnosed as an anxiety attack for one sole reason. Anxiety affects the heart and chest(Irregular heartbeat and heavy chest syndrome). But my anxiety affects my stomach(Hunger swings, indigestion) And thus, isnt consider an anxiety attack. A secondary effect is that it upsets my circadian cycle, usually making me nocturnal.
Another thing, because people bitch and moan about me not having a job. NO ONE WILL HIRE ME!!! Online/Paper applications seem to be the biggest problem. I have too little references, and apparently, I am the worst person on earth on paper, though as a person im better at the job than you would assume. And all of the "Apply in person" or "By Phone" jobs, aren't jobs im capable of performing (Primarily Service Desk, food related, construction, or heavy experience jobs). Get one thing straight, I CANT WORK WITH A LOT OF PEOPLE(Primarily customers) BECAUSE OF MY PSYCHOSIS.
And for those who tell me to take medicine for my OTHER mental problems, I can't. The medications cause some severe conflict with my emotional state, which ive WORKED VERY HARD ON, to dull down. That, and they can cause conflicts with other mental issues, alongside conflicts with other medications. To get everything perfect, I'd need about 30 or so medications to weed out all the problems.
Due to this, I've worked PERSONALLY to maintain my mental state, which seems to be a problem. I am mentally unfit to work certain jobs(Which seem to be abundant here), BUT im also too mentally stable for government help. Now, isn't that a pickle?
Just recently I discovered my Radio silence, has lost me yet another mate. And, because of it, I've got whiny little bitches at my throat because of how hurt he was, and because apparently he can't confront me himself.
Now, feel free to rain drama and complaints all over me, which is what I expect, and the reason I avoid these kinds of journals.
So what's happening right now? Well, im currently having another anxiety attack, and I feel like shit. Cold spells, dizzy spells, and the want to vomit but can't.
TO EVERYONE WHO DOESN'T BELIEVE ME: FUCK OFF!!
This sums up what happens too often:
So, a little update on my life. For the past few months I have been off of messengers, mostly because I am under a lot of stress, and have anxiety attacks on and off because of the whole hedgehog situation. And even though I have it now, im still having these anxiety attacks.
"Why not just take medicine?" You may ask...because It isn't diagnosed as an anxiety attack for one sole reason. Anxiety affects the heart and chest(Irregular heartbeat and heavy chest syndrome). But my anxiety affects my stomach(Hunger swings, indigestion) And thus, isnt consider an anxiety attack. A secondary effect is that it upsets my circadian cycle, usually making me nocturnal.
Another thing, because people bitch and moan about me not having a job. NO ONE WILL HIRE ME!!! Online/Paper applications seem to be the biggest problem. I have too little references, and apparently, I am the worst person on earth on paper, though as a person im better at the job than you would assume. And all of the "Apply in person" or "By Phone" jobs, aren't jobs im capable of performing (Primarily Service Desk, food related, construction, or heavy experience jobs). Get one thing straight, I CANT WORK WITH A LOT OF PEOPLE(Primarily customers) BECAUSE OF MY PSYCHOSIS.
And for those who tell me to take medicine for my OTHER mental problems, I can't. The medications cause some severe conflict with my emotional state, which ive WORKED VERY HARD ON, to dull down. That, and they can cause conflicts with other mental issues, alongside conflicts with other medications. To get everything perfect, I'd need about 30 or so medications to weed out all the problems.
Due to this, I've worked PERSONALLY to maintain my mental state, which seems to be a problem. I am mentally unfit to work certain jobs(Which seem to be abundant here), BUT im also too mentally stable for government help. Now, isn't that a pickle?
Just recently I discovered my Radio silence, has lost me yet another mate. And, because of it, I've got whiny little bitches at my throat because of how hurt he was, and because apparently he can't confront me himself.
Now, feel free to rain drama and complaints all over me, which is what I expect, and the reason I avoid these kinds of journals.
So what's happening right now? Well, im currently having another anxiety attack, and I feel like shit. Cold spells, dizzy spells, and the want to vomit but can't.
TO EVERYONE WHO DOESN'T BELIEVE ME: FUCK OFF!!
This sums up what happens too often:
and i don't really believe that.
Well believe it, I was going to leave to live with my mate. I'm not the kind of person who will leave without a proper destination.
Most people with worse lives dont have all these problematic mental disorders, that just add on to the sucking life. And I haven't been working hard all my life, I haven't really had too because of my intellect. Things like school were easy, but jobs are essentially impossible. Though I'm smart, my disorders prevent me from accessing what knowledge I need to a lot of the time.