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Whee! Look at me! I'm doing a sex meme survey!
18 years ago
I've never actually done one of these survey thingies before... and, lacking anything else to post at the moment, let's see what all the fuss about these things is about:
1.IS THERE ANYONE ON YOUR FRIENDS LIST YOU WOULD EVER CONSIDER HAVING SEX WITH?
Hmm… Now, I WANT make some superficial judgment of my peers here, but seeing as how only a few of them have posted real-life photos of themselves, I can’t really make any depthless appraisals of the lot of you. Too bad. I really wanted to rank you all on the Bioxz-Sex-Me-Up Scale.
2. SEX IN THE MORNING, AFTERNOON OR NIGHT?
I used to think morning sex was great alternative to abusing coffee to wake up in the morning… but sex can take anywhere from two to five times as long as it takes to make coffee! Being the efficient type, I try to relegate most sexual-type activity to after 3pm. (Not that I NEED to relegate much. :( )
3. WHAT SIDE OF THE BED DO YOU SLEEP ON?
I move around a lot in my sleep. I’m told it’s annoying.
4. PORK, BEEF, OR CHICKEN?
Beef first, then chicken, then pork. All with steak sauce.
5. HAVE YOU EVER HAD TO PULL OVER ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD TO PUKE?
Not while I was driving myself, no. I got a lift from my pal once, though, and that may not have been the most sound of judgments when factoring in that I’d just eaten clam chowder and that he’s driven in professional races.
6. HAVE YOU EVER TAKEN YOUR CLOTHES OFF FOR MONEY?
No, no, I leave that to the professionals.
7. SHOWER OR BATH?
Mostly showers. I take baths on the rare occasions when I’m super-stressed and/or sore following a hard day.
8. DO YOU PEE IN THE SHOWER?
EVERYONE pees in the shower. Anyone who claims otherwise is a filth-ridden liar.
9. MEXICAN OR CHINESE?
Mexican. I devour tacos and nachos like it’s my job.
10. DO YOU WANT SOMEONE AGGRESSIVE OR PASSIVE IN BED?
.............AGGRESSIVE.
11. DO YOU LOVE SOMEONE ON YOUR FRIEND LIST?
I love many of them, but I don’t... y'know, LOVE-love anyone at the moment.
12. DO YOU KNOW ALL THE PEOPLE ON YOUR FRIENDS LIST?
Personally? No. I only know, like, three people in real-life.
13. LOVE OR MONEY?
Love OF money.
14. CREDIT CARDS OR CASH?
INTERAC, motherfo’!!
15. HAS THERE EVER BEEN ANYONE IN YOUR FAMILY YOU WISH WASN'T?
Two people I could describe as such, I’m sorry to say.
16. WOULD YOU RATHER GO CAMPING OR TO A 5 STAR HOTEL?
Are you kidding?
I mean, I can go camping anytime, but if I get offered a stay at a five-star resort, I’m fuckin’ TAKING it.
17. WHAT IS THE WEIRDEST PLACE YOU HAVE HAD SEX?
I guess by default my bed is a “weird place”, then.
18. WOULD YOU SHAVE YOUR ENTIRE BODY (INCLUDING YOUR HEAD) FOR MONEY?
Name me a price and we’ll see. (Mind you, I once shaved half my head, eyebrows and goatee, for Halloween, so the bidding wouldn’t have to go that high.)
19. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO A STRIP CLUB?
Once, for a friend’s 20th birthday. As fun as it was to watch titties bouncing around for hours, those fucking girls harass you for money ALL THE DAMN TIME!!! I swear, they’re worse than hobos…
20. EVER BEEN TO A BAR?
More than I can count, and more than I can remember.
21. EVER BEEN KICKED OUT OF A BAR OR A CLUB?
Once. It was a whole thing. I’ve got an old journal entry over at DA that elaborates, in disgustingly graphic detail, that whole experience. I’ll upload it here in a few days.
22. EVER BEEN SO DRUNK YOU HAD TO BE CARRIED OUT OF SOMEWHERE?
Not carried, but leaning-on-shoulder-while-slumping-along.
23. KISSED SOMEONE OF THE SAME SEX?
Mmmmmm-hmmmmm!
24. FAVOURITE DRINK?
Fruit smoothies in the morning, lemon daiquiris at night. (...Not EVERY night!)
25. HAD SEX IN A MOVIE THEATRE?
Napes.
26. HAD SEX IN A BATHROOM?
Ew. No.
27. HAVE YOU EVER HAD SEX AT WORK?
It’s pretty cramped where I’m employed, so I’d be hard to get away with THAT.
28. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN AN "ADULT" STORE?
Once.
29. BOUGHT SOMETHING FROM AN ADULT STORE?
Napes. That shit is EXPENSIVE.
30. HAVE YOU BEEN CAUGHT HAVING SEX?
Nope. Had some close calls masturbating, tho’.
31. DOES ANYONE HAVE NAUGHTY PICS OF YOU?
If you count that time I was seven, and my brother yanked down my pants and took a picture, then yes.
32. WHO DO YOU THINK HAS THE GUTS TO REPOST THIS?
Well, this IS FA, so… uh, everybody.
1.IS THERE ANYONE ON YOUR FRIENDS LIST YOU WOULD EVER CONSIDER HAVING SEX WITH?
Hmm… Now, I WANT make some superficial judgment of my peers here, but seeing as how only a few of them have posted real-life photos of themselves, I can’t really make any depthless appraisals of the lot of you. Too bad. I really wanted to rank you all on the Bioxz-Sex-Me-Up Scale.
2. SEX IN THE MORNING, AFTERNOON OR NIGHT?
I used to think morning sex was great alternative to abusing coffee to wake up in the morning… but sex can take anywhere from two to five times as long as it takes to make coffee! Being the efficient type, I try to relegate most sexual-type activity to after 3pm. (Not that I NEED to relegate much. :( )
3. WHAT SIDE OF THE BED DO YOU SLEEP ON?
I move around a lot in my sleep. I’m told it’s annoying.
4. PORK, BEEF, OR CHICKEN?
Beef first, then chicken, then pork. All with steak sauce.
5. HAVE YOU EVER HAD TO PULL OVER ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD TO PUKE?
Not while I was driving myself, no. I got a lift from my pal once, though, and that may not have been the most sound of judgments when factoring in that I’d just eaten clam chowder and that he’s driven in professional races.
6. HAVE YOU EVER TAKEN YOUR CLOTHES OFF FOR MONEY?
No, no, I leave that to the professionals.
7. SHOWER OR BATH?
Mostly showers. I take baths on the rare occasions when I’m super-stressed and/or sore following a hard day.
8. DO YOU PEE IN THE SHOWER?
EVERYONE pees in the shower. Anyone who claims otherwise is a filth-ridden liar.
9. MEXICAN OR CHINESE?
Mexican. I devour tacos and nachos like it’s my job.
10. DO YOU WANT SOMEONE AGGRESSIVE OR PASSIVE IN BED?
.............AGGRESSIVE.
11. DO YOU LOVE SOMEONE ON YOUR FRIEND LIST?
I love many of them, but I don’t... y'know, LOVE-love anyone at the moment.
12. DO YOU KNOW ALL THE PEOPLE ON YOUR FRIENDS LIST?
Personally? No. I only know, like, three people in real-life.
13. LOVE OR MONEY?
Love OF money.
14. CREDIT CARDS OR CASH?
INTERAC, motherfo’!!
15. HAS THERE EVER BEEN ANYONE IN YOUR FAMILY YOU WISH WASN'T?
Two people I could describe as such, I’m sorry to say.
16. WOULD YOU RATHER GO CAMPING OR TO A 5 STAR HOTEL?
Are you kidding?
I mean, I can go camping anytime, but if I get offered a stay at a five-star resort, I’m fuckin’ TAKING it.
17. WHAT IS THE WEIRDEST PLACE YOU HAVE HAD SEX?
I guess by default my bed is a “weird place”, then.
18. WOULD YOU SHAVE YOUR ENTIRE BODY (INCLUDING YOUR HEAD) FOR MONEY?
Name me a price and we’ll see. (Mind you, I once shaved half my head, eyebrows and goatee, for Halloween, so the bidding wouldn’t have to go that high.)
19. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO A STRIP CLUB?
Once, for a friend’s 20th birthday. As fun as it was to watch titties bouncing around for hours, those fucking girls harass you for money ALL THE DAMN TIME!!! I swear, they’re worse than hobos…
20. EVER BEEN TO A BAR?
More than I can count, and more than I can remember.
21. EVER BEEN KICKED OUT OF A BAR OR A CLUB?
Once. It was a whole thing. I’ve got an old journal entry over at DA that elaborates, in disgustingly graphic detail, that whole experience. I’ll upload it here in a few days.
22. EVER BEEN SO DRUNK YOU HAD TO BE CARRIED OUT OF SOMEWHERE?
Not carried, but leaning-on-shoulder-while-slumping-along.
23. KISSED SOMEONE OF THE SAME SEX?
Mmmmmm-hmmmmm!
24. FAVOURITE DRINK?
Fruit smoothies in the morning, lemon daiquiris at night. (...Not EVERY night!)
25. HAD SEX IN A MOVIE THEATRE?
Napes.
26. HAD SEX IN A BATHROOM?
Ew. No.
27. HAVE YOU EVER HAD SEX AT WORK?
It’s pretty cramped where I’m employed, so I’d be hard to get away with THAT.
28. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN AN "ADULT" STORE?
Once.
29. BOUGHT SOMETHING FROM AN ADULT STORE?
Napes. That shit is EXPENSIVE.
30. HAVE YOU BEEN CAUGHT HAVING SEX?
Nope. Had some close calls masturbating, tho’.
31. DOES ANYONE HAVE NAUGHTY PICS OF YOU?
If you count that time I was seven, and my brother yanked down my pants and took a picture, then yes.
32. WHO DO YOU THINK HAS THE GUTS TO REPOST THIS?
Well, this IS FA, so… uh, everybody.
(But within that 5 percentile, YOU sir, are pretty damn high up there! )
What scale are we talking about? Overall, or just on certain elements? Well, to apppease this on a truly scientific level:
On a scale of one to ten-
Build: 6
Height: 7
Breast size: Um... 2
Proportion of body mass to body structure: from 7.4 to 10.5 on the BMI
Waist-hip ratio: 8
Prototypicality: 8.5
Skin Tone: 7
... okay, flatly, I'm not sure how to collectively put together all that data, but I can sum up the results with a "Yeah, I'd totally hit that."