FA+
Shop
Admitting problems and my future..
14 years ago
General
Attention ma brothers and sisters of the fuzzy tail world!
Things have been hell for me the past few months , especially these last few weeks ..
My friend is addicted to smoking ...not just cigs either... i tried to help him but hes gone too deep..im losing him.. hes too young for this shit and i tried my best to help him, hes like a little brother to me, lives a few blocks away from me, he isint even a furry, hes straight, he used to have good grades great kid , funny, smart, and i loved hanging out with him....now i dont even know him and me and m other friend feel like nothing can be done, he refuses help...so we had to let him choose for himself..
i also have a problem ..after everything i been though i have problems holding in my anger ...its been years since i had a anger release...these people..i cant even call them humans..selling addictive shit to kids like my friend whos a 3 years younger then me...just so he gets addicted and they then ask for money so they can get paid from his parents money on this addictive substances..then grab his cash for beer so he can get drunk and have a party..what has my generation got itself into there is no hope for them...they are ruining their future...it hurts me someone so close threw it all away...for nothing...thing is i dont care about anyone else i ignore them...but hes not someone else ..thats what got my attention...hes a close friend i used to trust...
now , i have projects to do, lots lots lots of work..gotta go work from 4pm to 4 am sometimes and i cant even get paid properly...
college aint easy either...one professor said i gotta read 5, 300+ paged books within 2 months before midterms...wtf he doesn't even understand i have other classes and jobs and a life for the love of god i need a vacation...eventually...
i've been back stabbed by friends, some even just took me for an enemy after i helped him for weeks , wtf did i do to deserve this treatment i tried my best to make sure the guy was alright ...
my family yells at me gives me problems, for shit reasons, like mom ill be home at 11:30 , NO YOU'LL BE HOME AT 10:00!....mom im 19 give me a break some friends are 17 they drive and come home at 3 in the morning...im asking a 11:30 , NO THEIR MOMS DONT CARE I DO I CANT SLEEP U BE HOME 10 OR ELSE!...paranoid much? yeaaaah...
my health is even worse, i have headaches everyday and i started twitching and feeling restless...i've got an insurance where i gotta have co payments..i cant afford to go to doctors unless its an emergency...
i've said screw it ill let these kids do what they want to...but also...i don't want to hurt someone i love...and i need to get away from everything...i feel ill have regrets but i think for the best ...i gotta get away from society and concentrate on my grades and work all the way...i dont want to be involved in anything right now...i need to refresh my mind...start over and then advance..
i also got sadness problems...i feel horrible but i haven't cried ina year...like i know its healthy to cry and ur still a man if u cry and everything but i feel horrible but no tears...i feel as if it just builds up, i even tried to cry but nothing...wtf happened to me...
if i dont go to doctor fast idk what will happen to me... read this...
I've been officially diagnosed with Obstructive sleep apnea... here are the symptoms..
~~~~~~~~~~(THE SYMPTOMS THAT I MARK WITH X I HAVE)~~~~~~~~
People with sleep apnea may:
*
Act grumpy, impatient, or irritable (X)
*
Be forgetful (X)
*
Fall asleep while working, reading, or watching TV (X)
*
Feel sleepy while driving, or even fall asleep while driving (i dont drive yet)
*
Have hard-to-treat headaches (X)
Problems that may occur with this condition:
*
Depression that becomes worse (X)
*
Hyperactive behavior, (X)
*
Leg swelling (if severe) (maybe)
thats bad? hah nah thats nothing read this
People with poorly treated sleep apnea often have:
*
An increase in anxiety and depression (X)
*
A loss of interest in sex (half the time, i used to be alot more enthusiastic but no sleep and working late i dont have time even if im in the mood im too tied)
*
Poor performance at work or school (X)
Because of daytime sleepiness, people with sleep apnea have an increased risk of:
*
Motor vehicle accidents from driving while sleepy (thats bad for my license...)
*
Industrial accidents from falling asleep on the job (thankfully i only work with cameras)
not as bad as ...
Complications
Untreated obstructive sleep apnea may lead to or worsen heart disease, including:
*
Heart arrhythmia's (had a bit of that)
*
Heart failure (no but i hope not)
*
High blood pressure ( very high normally 145 over 87) (highest was 195 over 105, went to hospital for that one)
*
Stroke (god forbid)
the good shit i might say...
so idk about my treatment...eventually my doctor will start giving me a breathing mask with a solution to help me sleep and pills to lower my BP and help me get my health back on track, im trying to eat healthy and exercise.
well thats my problems and my future looks hard but i aint giving up...just holding on ...even if it means ill have to suffer a bit , eventually my life will be back to normal, i know it will, i wont give up till it happens, for now college and work is my primary goal , my health, then a car and then a house ...wish me luck guys , who ever has advice please speak your mind, and if you have any comments let me know, ill try to view your third person perspectives.
(this does not have anything to do with drama by the way, its a bit of venting, and asking for hope and advice, nothing to do with furries or the fandom or anything with any furries within the fandom, just my life outside of it, asking for advice nothing more.)
My friend is addicted to smoking ...not just cigs either... i tried to help him but hes gone too deep..im losing him.. hes too young for this shit and i tried my best to help him, hes like a little brother to me, lives a few blocks away from me, he isint even a furry, hes straight, he used to have good grades great kid , funny, smart, and i loved hanging out with him....now i dont even know him and me and m other friend feel like nothing can be done, he refuses help...so we had to let him choose for himself..
i also have a problem ..after everything i been though i have problems holding in my anger ...its been years since i had a anger release...these people..i cant even call them humans..selling addictive shit to kids like my friend whos a 3 years younger then me...just so he gets addicted and they then ask for money so they can get paid from his parents money on this addictive substances..then grab his cash for beer so he can get drunk and have a party..what has my generation got itself into there is no hope for them...they are ruining their future...it hurts me someone so close threw it all away...for nothing...thing is i dont care about anyone else i ignore them...but hes not someone else ..thats what got my attention...hes a close friend i used to trust...
now , i have projects to do, lots lots lots of work..gotta go work from 4pm to 4 am sometimes and i cant even get paid properly...
college aint easy either...one professor said i gotta read 5, 300+ paged books within 2 months before midterms...wtf he doesn't even understand i have other classes and jobs and a life for the love of god i need a vacation...eventually...
i've been back stabbed by friends, some even just took me for an enemy after i helped him for weeks , wtf did i do to deserve this treatment i tried my best to make sure the guy was alright ...
my family yells at me gives me problems, for shit reasons, like mom ill be home at 11:30 , NO YOU'LL BE HOME AT 10:00!....mom im 19 give me a break some friends are 17 they drive and come home at 3 in the morning...im asking a 11:30 , NO THEIR MOMS DONT CARE I DO I CANT SLEEP U BE HOME 10 OR ELSE!...paranoid much? yeaaaah...
my health is even worse, i have headaches everyday and i started twitching and feeling restless...i've got an insurance where i gotta have co payments..i cant afford to go to doctors unless its an emergency...
i've said screw it ill let these kids do what they want to...but also...i don't want to hurt someone i love...and i need to get away from everything...i feel ill have regrets but i think for the best ...i gotta get away from society and concentrate on my grades and work all the way...i dont want to be involved in anything right now...i need to refresh my mind...start over and then advance..
i also got sadness problems...i feel horrible but i haven't cried ina year...like i know its healthy to cry and ur still a man if u cry and everything but i feel horrible but no tears...i feel as if it just builds up, i even tried to cry but nothing...wtf happened to me...
if i dont go to doctor fast idk what will happen to me... read this...
I've been officially diagnosed with Obstructive sleep apnea... here are the symptoms..
~~~~~~~~~~(THE SYMPTOMS THAT I MARK WITH X I HAVE)~~~~~~~~
People with sleep apnea may:
*
Act grumpy, impatient, or irritable (X)
*
Be forgetful (X)
*
Fall asleep while working, reading, or watching TV (X)
*
Feel sleepy while driving, or even fall asleep while driving (i dont drive yet)
*
Have hard-to-treat headaches (X)
Problems that may occur with this condition:
*
Depression that becomes worse (X)
*
Hyperactive behavior, (X)
*
Leg swelling (if severe) (maybe)
thats bad? hah nah thats nothing read this
People with poorly treated sleep apnea often have:
*
An increase in anxiety and depression (X)
*
A loss of interest in sex (half the time, i used to be alot more enthusiastic but no sleep and working late i dont have time even if im in the mood im too tied)
*
Poor performance at work or school (X)
Because of daytime sleepiness, people with sleep apnea have an increased risk of:
*
Motor vehicle accidents from driving while sleepy (thats bad for my license...)
*
Industrial accidents from falling asleep on the job (thankfully i only work with cameras)
not as bad as ...
Complications
Untreated obstructive sleep apnea may lead to or worsen heart disease, including:
*
Heart arrhythmia's (had a bit of that)
*
Heart failure (no but i hope not)
*
High blood pressure ( very high normally 145 over 87) (highest was 195 over 105, went to hospital for that one)
*
Stroke (god forbid)
the good shit i might say...
so idk about my treatment...eventually my doctor will start giving me a breathing mask with a solution to help me sleep and pills to lower my BP and help me get my health back on track, im trying to eat healthy and exercise.
well thats my problems and my future looks hard but i aint giving up...just holding on ...even if it means ill have to suffer a bit , eventually my life will be back to normal, i know it will, i wont give up till it happens, for now college and work is my primary goal , my health, then a car and then a house ...wish me luck guys , who ever has advice please speak your mind, and if you have any comments let me know, ill try to view your third person perspectives.
(this does not have anything to do with drama by the way, its a bit of venting, and asking for hope and advice, nothing to do with furries or the fandom or anything with any furries within the fandom, just my life outside of it, asking for advice nothing more.)
You can't save everyone but you can only help those that actually wants and appreciate your help. THOSE are the ones who'll gladly give those mutual feelings in return. Family is, at times, there to make your life worse, but it's the friends who you chose in your life that eventually becomes a second and often times reasonable second family.
Just know that I'll be there if you need me and never give up on hope until you find some. You're a very good and strong guy for holding all this in, but if you need to vent, just vent, it's human nature after all as sad and good as that is.
I have only seen you once, and I care about you. I can tell, you're different than the most people. You're better than the most people. When I first saw you, I can tell instantly that you would make a good friend. I shied away kinda because I'm more of afraid of myself: what I mite do or say. Hope the problems will all be taken care of well.
Well, I hope this helped, if any.
Going to the doctor I'd say should be first priority. Can't go on about if your health is bad.
*arms open wide* I dont' seems or act like much of a hugger, but I am.
As for your mother, yes, she is being protective, but that's her role in your life. Beyond that, if you're still living with her, then you really have to abide by her rules, so if she says 10:00pm, then 10:00pm it is. You can ask her to allow you to extend it, but she's not wholly obligated to grant you that. But, if you make it home on time (or better yet, early) on nights when you go out late, maybe you can start asking for 10:30pm and work your way up to 11:30, little by little.
...and that is what I would say. And that is why I can understand your mother, Darlin'. Don't be harsh with her. She is your mother and the only one you will ever have. When she's gone, she'll never come back. Enjoy and love her while you can.
About your friend, let them mess up. I learned that the hard way. When people want to ruin their life the only way to fix it is to let them fall but be there to help him up. If he doesn't want help then you have to respect that sadly.
As far as the other things go I know I can't really help with the sleep thing. x.x Though I've been trying melatonin pills lately and they've been helping for me. Either way though you have my number and if you need someone to talk to or vent to go ahead and shoot me a text or something.
at the end of the journal you listed your prioritys as 1.school 2.work 3.health i think health should be first cause if you end up in the hospital cause you put health 3rd school and work are gonna be useless if your health is in the toilet
*hugs* anytime you wanna vent or chat let me know you know where to find me
use cliff notes for the books. and get away for awhile, even if just for a weekend.
cliff notes are summeries of the book, but they have all the important parts described as well.