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Coming out day
14 years ago
I stole this idea from Kanic.
There is always a lot of hoopla in the Homosexualist community about encouraging people to come out and be proud about being a homo. This is all well and good, as everyone should be able to be proud of who they are and be that person without constant fear of attack, repression or other nasty outcomes. However, I take issue with the fact that coming out seems to promote the notion that one should come out, don the rainbow banner and march around in preposterous clothing. That's all well and fine too...if that's your thing. Id rather just continue being a (not really) normal guy, doing normal guy stuff. Besides, what's the point of a parade without awesome marching bands?
To me, coming out doesn't every really end. It can only start. The first person one comes out to is, naturally, themselves. This is THE MOST important person to come out to, and fully. Otherwise, everything just wont sit right since that person hasn't come to terms with themselves yet. There are a lot of people, Homoist or not, that never even make it this far with themselves concerning just about anything. Don't be one.
Next comes friends, family and everyone else, and in whatever order you so choose, should you even choose to come out to anyone else. Lots of people never get that far either, just think about all those married "straight" guys sucking dicks at the bath house right now. This is where things come down to the individual, so Ill just relay some of my own highlights.
Around age 10-12 I figured out that I was indeed attracted only to men, and that it was something that probably wouldnt go away.
At 14 I came out to my very close friends at school. I was surprised that not one had anything mean to say, nor did they do anything negative. Highschool would continue to suck for another few years.
Age 16 and I stopped saying the word "fag" and all it's variations. It's a really mean hearted, hateful, malicious word. (I picked it up again in the Marines, it's just to fun to say)
18 comes around and Im free, no more life at home. Most of my friends knew about me and were fine. Hook ups commence.
Age 20 I joined the Marines. Time to shut up and keep quiet while enjoying all the barely concealed homoerotic shenanigans.
22 and I get my first real boyfriend. It was awesome, despite me being gone all the damn time. I felt like I had arrived as a gay man, even though I couldnt be honest about things due to work.
Age 24 it all got crazy. I came out to my best Marine buddies and my parents. The jar heads were surprised but fine with it. My mom cried, and my Dad said he would shoot me. Seven months later and Im back from Iraq, and everything is magically fine.
Fast forward a few years, and here I am. Still homo, still around, still not putting on make up and prancing around. Just not my thing, but if it's yours then please do go for it. Getting back to what I said earlier, I dont think that you just come out and it's over. Every time you meet someone new, you're coming out to them all over again. Every time someone asks me "So do you have a girlfriend?" I have to make the choice to explain things, or just casually say "nope." When someone utters the word "fag" with anger on their tongue, do I call them on the hate speech, or just call them a "douche fag" in return for being such a hater? When someone derides another for the pitch of their voice, their clothing or mannerism that isnt up to social norms, do I stay quiet, or do I stand up for that person, as I hope they would do for me.
In short, once you come out to yourself, the long road has just begun. Dont be afraid to travel along it, even though the course is uncertain.
There is always a lot of hoopla in the Homosexualist community about encouraging people to come out and be proud about being a homo. This is all well and good, as everyone should be able to be proud of who they are and be that person without constant fear of attack, repression or other nasty outcomes. However, I take issue with the fact that coming out seems to promote the notion that one should come out, don the rainbow banner and march around in preposterous clothing. That's all well and fine too...if that's your thing. Id rather just continue being a (not really) normal guy, doing normal guy stuff. Besides, what's the point of a parade without awesome marching bands?
To me, coming out doesn't every really end. It can only start. The first person one comes out to is, naturally, themselves. This is THE MOST important person to come out to, and fully. Otherwise, everything just wont sit right since that person hasn't come to terms with themselves yet. There are a lot of people, Homoist or not, that never even make it this far with themselves concerning just about anything. Don't be one.
Next comes friends, family and everyone else, and in whatever order you so choose, should you even choose to come out to anyone else. Lots of people never get that far either, just think about all those married "straight" guys sucking dicks at the bath house right now. This is where things come down to the individual, so Ill just relay some of my own highlights.
Around age 10-12 I figured out that I was indeed attracted only to men, and that it was something that probably wouldnt go away.
At 14 I came out to my very close friends at school. I was surprised that not one had anything mean to say, nor did they do anything negative. Highschool would continue to suck for another few years.
Age 16 and I stopped saying the word "fag" and all it's variations. It's a really mean hearted, hateful, malicious word. (I picked it up again in the Marines, it's just to fun to say)
18 comes around and Im free, no more life at home. Most of my friends knew about me and were fine. Hook ups commence.
Age 20 I joined the Marines. Time to shut up and keep quiet while enjoying all the barely concealed homoerotic shenanigans.
22 and I get my first real boyfriend. It was awesome, despite me being gone all the damn time. I felt like I had arrived as a gay man, even though I couldnt be honest about things due to work.
Age 24 it all got crazy. I came out to my best Marine buddies and my parents. The jar heads were surprised but fine with it. My mom cried, and my Dad said he would shoot me. Seven months later and Im back from Iraq, and everything is magically fine.
Fast forward a few years, and here I am. Still homo, still around, still not putting on make up and prancing around. Just not my thing, but if it's yours then please do go for it. Getting back to what I said earlier, I dont think that you just come out and it's over. Every time you meet someone new, you're coming out to them all over again. Every time someone asks me "So do you have a girlfriend?" I have to make the choice to explain things, or just casually say "nope." When someone utters the word "fag" with anger on their tongue, do I call them on the hate speech, or just call them a "douche fag" in return for being such a hater? When someone derides another for the pitch of their voice, their clothing or mannerism that isnt up to social norms, do I stay quiet, or do I stand up for that person, as I hope they would do for me.
In short, once you come out to yourself, the long road has just begun. Dont be afraid to travel along it, even though the course is uncertain.
(to tired to type out a full response)
Girl you better work!