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" " is the cancer that is killing fur.
18 years ago
The word of the day is cowardice.
Perhaps one of the single biggest problem in not just fur, but all online role play is the prevalence of the immature and the unstable who cannot handle differences. Unfamiliarity, disagreements, conflict. It happens in role play because it happens in real life. The unfortunate thing is that many people in real life lack the skill or the fucking balls to handle differences when they occur. This may be the single greatest cause for escapism that humanity has.
But I digress. Let's look at issue.
In the real world, if someone gets mud on your shoes you do one of four things. Blow it out of fucking proportion and cause a conflict, get butt hurt and overly defensive over the small and possibly unintended happening, repress the issue and add it to a pile of minor problems for later explosion or rationalize what's occurred and get the fuck over it.
Optimistically, I'd like to think that the majority of people are mature (they're not), well adjusted (ha!) intelligent (oh god..) individuals who can process and work through conflict. Our critically overfilled prisons and the prevalence of frivolous lawsuits says otherwise.
In a virtual environment, anonymity and the concept of mechanical placebos has shifted maturity and courage to a strange masked illusionist that appears so rarely and briefly that we typically fail to recognize what it is.
The fact is that 'ignore' and 'ban' functions are a knee jerk, coward's response to a conflict that the person in question is too weak/spineless/immature to hash out in a reasonable arena. Now I'm sure the immediate response to a comment like that is "Oh foxy, who banned you this time?" but let's save that for a moment and consider what's just been said. Truly, take a step back and contemplate.
The anonymity of the internet allows people to go ape shit nuts and blow conflicts out of proportion with much greater ease than real life. The concept of 'victimless crimes' online enables people to do virtual hit and runs on people's emotions, home pages or character in general. I frequent /b/, I understand the concept of Anonymous. The prime reason we are monsters is because we're faceless monsters. If you had to answer to your mother after calling someone a cock-gargling weasel fucking fag douche; you probably wouldn't do it.
The problem is that virtually no one has the feeling of responsibility or maturity to stop the children's temper tantrum and lay out it for them. How many times have you seen a forum moderator say "Hey, you're being a prick and offending many people here. Please knock it the hell off or go find somewhere that suits you better". I've never seen it happen. I'm pretty much lead to believe it doesn't happen. The so-called managers of virtual establishments don't actually manage anything. Whenever conflict occurs, they pull out a button and magically poof the offender. In reality, we're deporting people for being disagreeable without so much as a trial. In terms of justice, there is none. In terms of maturity, it's holding your fingers in your ears and going 'NAH NAH NAH NAH'.
I'd like to take a moment here to say something important. I've used the same AIM handle for Foxy for .. maybe six years now. Do you know how many people are in my ignore list? Zero. That's right. I don't have anyone 'blocked' from contacting me. When I part ways from my contacts it happens one of two ways.. we disolve over time because we don't share similiar goals any more, or we have it out in a finalizing bit of closure. The closure may have a few fuck yous thrown around, but it doesn't result in a ban list. Not on my side at least. Frankly, ego on a soap box, I'm better than that. If we disagree and you're still mad a month later, rant and rave and cloud up my IM box. It's healthy for you. If you figure out there was a mistake and want to talk about it or apologize.. go for it. I'm not going to deny anyone the right to free speech in my presence. (Mind you, I might delete harassing comments from lingering around a blog; but that's graffiti more than speech)
When I was temp banned from the haven for, realistically, calling someone's bullshit; DragonFire didn't care what I had to say in my defense. We had a non-conversation about it. I expect about as much from starbucks corporate stance, but not so much the haven where I was once a staple figure. The ban went away when it was scheduled to, I didn't make trouble for anyone else because it was all over one dipshit anyway, and I lost a little respect for DF by running her house like a texas courtroom. I don't harass the subject of the original problem, nor do I give any shit to DF; cause realistically.. I'm over it. There was a justice deficiency, but big deal. I still go there when I want to go there and I still talk to whom I want to. While I hold certain persons in worse light for it, I didn't ban them from ever talking to me again like some emo twat who can't handle diplomacy.
Cowards are the cancer that is killing fur, and all role play realistically. Hey, sign off if you're emotional. Come back to a conversation later if you have to. Fuck, tell a person you can't handle them anymore and let them deal with that fact... but these dramatic, tear stained tales (and tails) about people shutting other people out with permanent communication bans is nonsense. And it applies to real life too. You know what I think a restraining order represents? Two fucking children who can't communicate. I have no respect for either person.
Maybe, just maybe, this little rant will get some people to clear thier block list. And you know what? That's the first step to become a more mature individual.
Deal with your problems.
Perhaps one of the single biggest problem in not just fur, but all online role play is the prevalence of the immature and the unstable who cannot handle differences. Unfamiliarity, disagreements, conflict. It happens in role play because it happens in real life. The unfortunate thing is that many people in real life lack the skill or the fucking balls to handle differences when they occur. This may be the single greatest cause for escapism that humanity has.
But I digress. Let's look at issue.
In the real world, if someone gets mud on your shoes you do one of four things. Blow it out of fucking proportion and cause a conflict, get butt hurt and overly defensive over the small and possibly unintended happening, repress the issue and add it to a pile of minor problems for later explosion or rationalize what's occurred and get the fuck over it.
Optimistically, I'd like to think that the majority of people are mature (they're not), well adjusted (ha!) intelligent (oh god..) individuals who can process and work through conflict. Our critically overfilled prisons and the prevalence of frivolous lawsuits says otherwise.
In a virtual environment, anonymity and the concept of mechanical placebos has shifted maturity and courage to a strange masked illusionist that appears so rarely and briefly that we typically fail to recognize what it is.
The fact is that 'ignore' and 'ban' functions are a knee jerk, coward's response to a conflict that the person in question is too weak/spineless/immature to hash out in a reasonable arena. Now I'm sure the immediate response to a comment like that is "Oh foxy, who banned you this time?" but let's save that for a moment and consider what's just been said. Truly, take a step back and contemplate.
The anonymity of the internet allows people to go ape shit nuts and blow conflicts out of proportion with much greater ease than real life. The concept of 'victimless crimes' online enables people to do virtual hit and runs on people's emotions, home pages or character in general. I frequent /b/, I understand the concept of Anonymous. The prime reason we are monsters is because we're faceless monsters. If you had to answer to your mother after calling someone a cock-gargling weasel fucking fag douche; you probably wouldn't do it.
The problem is that virtually no one has the feeling of responsibility or maturity to stop the children's temper tantrum and lay out it for them. How many times have you seen a forum moderator say "Hey, you're being a prick and offending many people here. Please knock it the hell off or go find somewhere that suits you better". I've never seen it happen. I'm pretty much lead to believe it doesn't happen. The so-called managers of virtual establishments don't actually manage anything. Whenever conflict occurs, they pull out a button and magically poof the offender. In reality, we're deporting people for being disagreeable without so much as a trial. In terms of justice, there is none. In terms of maturity, it's holding your fingers in your ears and going 'NAH NAH NAH NAH'.
I'd like to take a moment here to say something important. I've used the same AIM handle for Foxy for .. maybe six years now. Do you know how many people are in my ignore list? Zero. That's right. I don't have anyone 'blocked' from contacting me. When I part ways from my contacts it happens one of two ways.. we disolve over time because we don't share similiar goals any more, or we have it out in a finalizing bit of closure. The closure may have a few fuck yous thrown around, but it doesn't result in a ban list. Not on my side at least. Frankly, ego on a soap box, I'm better than that. If we disagree and you're still mad a month later, rant and rave and cloud up my IM box. It's healthy for you. If you figure out there was a mistake and want to talk about it or apologize.. go for it. I'm not going to deny anyone the right to free speech in my presence. (Mind you, I might delete harassing comments from lingering around a blog; but that's graffiti more than speech)
When I was temp banned from the haven for, realistically, calling someone's bullshit; DragonFire didn't care what I had to say in my defense. We had a non-conversation about it. I expect about as much from starbucks corporate stance, but not so much the haven where I was once a staple figure. The ban went away when it was scheduled to, I didn't make trouble for anyone else because it was all over one dipshit anyway, and I lost a little respect for DF by running her house like a texas courtroom. I don't harass the subject of the original problem, nor do I give any shit to DF; cause realistically.. I'm over it. There was a justice deficiency, but big deal. I still go there when I want to go there and I still talk to whom I want to. While I hold certain persons in worse light for it, I didn't ban them from ever talking to me again like some emo twat who can't handle diplomacy.
Cowards are the cancer that is killing fur, and all role play realistically. Hey, sign off if you're emotional. Come back to a conversation later if you have to. Fuck, tell a person you can't handle them anymore and let them deal with that fact... but these dramatic, tear stained tales (and tails) about people shutting other people out with permanent communication bans is nonsense. And it applies to real life too. You know what I think a restraining order represents? Two fucking children who can't communicate. I have no respect for either person.
Maybe, just maybe, this little rant will get some people to clear thier block list. And you know what? That's the first step to become a more mature individual.
Deal with your problems.
If it ever wasn't like this, then I'm five years too young.
I have never been one to belive that there is not a problem that can not be talked out so long as both parties are willing to listen. And it it cant be , it's probly not worth the effort to worry about it anyway.