... for the simple fact that I'm human, and I had a full-blown mental breakdown. Yes, I did a lot of terrible things, but I wasn't me. Many of the things I did were things I would NEVER, EVER do, and will never do again.

I can understand if those involved no longer want to be friends. I don't really blame them. But what I would really like is to just hear from them that they understand what I went through, understand that I totally lost control, and forgive me for my mistakes.

I'm not one to hold grudges. I forgive people for their wrongs. I've completely forgiven my old friend for anything she's ever done wrong to me, and I'd at least like the same in return. When my ex-fiancee ended our two-year relationship, and informed me she wasn't really serious about it, I was devastated. But we still talked about things, what went wrong, what we felt, and we walked away as friends.

When I realized what happened, I was overcome with intense feelings of guilt and regret, as the full weight of the situation bore down on me. Those who are still my friends I've already talked to about my breakdown, what led to it, and how absolutely horrible I feel. Otherwise, I talked about it in my other journal.

I sincerely hope that time can heal what has happened, but for one of you, I fear that no amount of time will ever heal the pain I've caused you. I offer you my deepest and most sincere apologies, and hope you know that I don't bear any ill will towards you, and understand fully if we can never be friends again. All I ask is that you let me know if you can forgive me.