It's sad that this works almost perfectly, and many of you may not get it, but my friends and I have found the theme song that sums up the Major and everyone in it (Even I am in it, if only for the "hair" part.

What song is it?

Why, none other than "Gaston" from Beauty and the Beast

Yes. Every aspect of that song belongs to everything and everyone in my Major, Conservation Law Enforcement.

Sad? Maybe. But also awesome. I'm also adament that I am La'Flue (or however his name is spelled)