So I'm supposed to keep journals. Record my thoughts for posterity. Huh. Not sure I have anything worth putting down.

I moved recently. Still getting used to the new arrangement, waiting on a new bed before I can actually get into my room proper.

Working on my self-esteem issues. Having been a larger person most of my life, that makes it very difficult, but I'm working on it.

I suppose my biggest fear right now is that, alone at 36, I'll be alone all my life. Pretty decent shot at it, anyway. I just thought, years ago, that my life would be so much different from how it turned out.

I thought I'd be with a partner or married, nice small house, decent job, at least a little bit financially secure. None of those. Well, small house, but I don't own it.

I've attempted suicide four times in my life because of weight issues and other things. I'm still here. I suppose it makes an argument that someone still needs/wants me around, though I'll be damned if I can name more than a handful or two of people.

I dunno. An old saying goes that it's darkest before the dawn. Well, dawn better arrive soon, because it's been pitch black for a while.

But enough of my ramblings for now. Must watch Doctor Who on In Demand.