So. Something kinda funny but kinda scary happened while I was looking at a shitty laptop screen at 4 am trying to make wedding vows that didn't suck. It didn't help that I was listening to Anemia/Tool.



I have discovered I'm not allowed to write my own vows for my handfasting wedding early in the morning...

....Because they end up looking like this:

Handfasting: nondenominational, non neopagan other wordy shit no priest necessary

Cleric: Join hands. Somber face. No horns! NO SITH ROBES! GACK

"I give you my hand in marriage."

"And I give you mine."

"I vow to honor, cherish, and respect you always."

"I vow to _should probably ask him what he's vowing_"

Red cord

Cleric: [to witnesses]

If any of you also vow to something or other help protect honor etc, help them on their journey, join them. something or other blah blah blah tie their hands up cause bondage is supar grr rar red is nice.

No no words; obey love harmony romance "true love" strengthen sacred

Where go rings?

pendants for some other less public time.


Flowers throw in air yay happy bubbles and then FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD MIMOSAS FIRE FOOD FOOD FOOD!