First order of business: I am up WAY past my bedtime for reasons unknown even to me. Now that that's outta the way, check this out.

Anybody remember Sagwa the Chinese Siamese Cat? It was this charming-ass little show that aired for a few years on PBSKids. GodDAMN was it charming! It takes place in those magical last years of the Qing Empire (I was able to get a rough estimate of time based on the introduction of nitrate moving pictures by a white traveler in one episode). I will say that I liked that show; it appealed to my inner furry before I'd fully realized it. There's one episode in particular I have a problem with, though...

The main plot is set up by Sagwa and her siblings Shigwa and Dongwa getting teased because of what their names mean in Chinese. When they ask their parents why they have funny names, mommy and daddy tell this wonderful story about how they met and fell in love during an adventure in a melon field. Therefore, they named their children Dongwa, Shigwa, and Sagwa to reflect the happiest day of their lives.

Now that's touching, even for an unsentimental ass like me. It WOULD be touching, that is. Translated, Dongwa and Shigwa are Wintermelon and Watermelon respectively...okay, that's not too bad; it's kinda Chinese tradition to be artsy with names. Then we hear what Sagwa means. "Silly Melonhead." I had to shake my head at that, because even though it's cute when you know the backstory of the poor kitty's parents, who else but them can put that in context? I imagine they haven't told many of the other characters about this, so for all they know, Sagwa's parents were some sadistic bitches.

But wait! It gets worse! While perusing a Chinese dictionary of profanity (don't ask why), what to my wondering eye should appear, but Sagwa, printed bold and clear! Apparently, although the LITERAL translation means "[silly] melonhead," IN PRACTICE, it really means "retard," and is an insult. I imagine the writers of the show didn't take that meaning into account, and just jumped on the literal translation when naming the cat, but still...WHAT KIND OF SICK, DEMENTED, EVIL MOTHERFUCKER NAMES HER FIRSTBORN DAUGHTER RETARD??? Celestia above, they must have either completely misinterpreted its meaning as NOT an insult, or they secretly hate her frigging guts. Alright, this is bugging me now. Can anyone out there who speaks Chinese verify that there's an alternate translation of Sagwa that is more civil? Until someone reassures me there's other ways of using it, I'm gonna look at reruns and be like "Heya Retard! Good to see ya again!"

I REALLY need to go to bed...