I know not a whole lot of people read journals and whatnot (at least I don't), but I guess I just need to speak my mind a little. I'm not doing this for attention, for you, or for anyone... I just need to vent. I've lost someone very important to me, who meant the world to me. I even lost part of myself, yet am still able to stand on my own to feet. It wasn't like this person died or anything... they just changed. I don't know how I feel sometimes about this. I was with this person for 6 years and was truly happy. I thought my life was figured out and I knew damn well I was a lucky man. Now I don't know what to do. The only thing keeping me from going crazy is that I am suppressing the person inside me who needed that other person. It feels like I am two different people, who have the exact same personality. You could say a clone. Then again you could also say I have picked back up where I started 6 years ago. Love is amazing, it can have you feeling on top of the world one day and then rock bottom the next. I will never know what happened or why the love faded, all I know is as of right now I never want to be in a relationship again. That is, as of right now. I don't know if I want to invest more time into another person only to have them go off the deep end and hurt me again. Its not like there is a rule stating that humans have to have a companion. I feel they just need people who love them. At least I still have that. When all of this comes to mind I think of my family and the way they love me, and how they will never stop loving me. I even think of  jimman who will always be my friend. Days ago I felt like dieing and also felt I had no instinct to live, but I somehow kept on living. I can't really tie this up neatly because all it is, is a mess. I'm not going to do anything like delete my artwork, I just need some time to heal.