*mew* ._.

I should stop making illusions. They will work for a short moment but they won't improve my current state. I'm feeling down. I've done too many mistakes in the past that now cannot be undone.

I had a chat with her a couple of hours ago. Wasn't something private, just normal stuff, but... Reading her messages was the only thing that cheered me up this day. Too bad she went too soon again.

I just can hope for a better weather so at least there's sunhine outside, when there's no sunshine in my heart. This time not even my music can light my sky a bit, still absolutely no inspiration. I actually wanted to fix this by visiting her past week end, but it turned out to the opposite. However, this time I think there's no way back to the previous situation. I'm too pessimistic anyway.

It's 1am now.

I think I have a cold. o.ô