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An Important Message to Everyone I know
14 years ago
General
~It's not a game, I'm not a robot AI challenging you,
I'm not a phantom,
I'm in your face, and
I'm here to see it through
Right before your eyes,
Watch us multiply,
Come to claim our rights - it's time
As our power grows,
Tryin' to stop us shows,
Might as well go try'n stop time
I'm not a phantom,
I'm in your face, and
I'm here to see it through
Right before your eyes,
Watch us multiply,
Come to claim our rights - it's time
As our power grows,
Tryin' to stop us shows,
Might as well go try'n stop time
I may have to say goodbye to all of you for sometime.
Now I’m breaking this into two bits. The next sentence or two will be too the point. After that I’m going to vent a little. I warn ahead of time so people who don’t want to deal with it, can get to the point and ignore my whiny bullshit if they so choose ^^;;
Now… I haven’t been worried about this… but as the new year comes ever closer it’s a real fear. I’m a terrible student. And as such through years of getting worse, I still have one or two tough homeschooling courses to finish (Advanced Mathematics (As in above high school norm) and Spanish, lots of damn Spanish) Now I might be able to get myself into shape before new years, I’ve been getting better, but not by a lot…
Basically, I’m gonna get kicked out. Now this will most likely cause me to move in with my mom, and she’ll help me get my life on track…. When she can find time. Heck I would have most likely moved in with her already, if not for a good handful of reasons, the main of which is she is taking care of my slowly dying grandfather. Now what does this mean to all of you? Well should this happen, mom doesn’t have internet, not at Grandpa’s house, and she’s pretty poor overall. I would also most likely be uber buy trying to improve myself all at once. So if I vanish, I’m most likely not dead. I’m just warning really, all my friends at once, in advanced.
VENTING/WHINING/WHATEVERYAWANNACALLIT Starts now
Now for a bit of the venting. Why has it come to this? Well some of it falls on my dad. But I don’t like blaming others for my issues.. Really it was a down hill fall. Somehow I got to be a slacker, and it get worse, and worse and worse. Now it’s second nature. I’ve tried to make steps to stop out this habit but it’s easier said the done. There’s so many distractions, the internet being the main thing I fill my day with.
Why don’t I just unplug it? Because frankly my life sucks, and the internet makes it much less so. I’m in the middle of nowhere, I don’t have a car, and I don’t have anyone to teach me to drive. Most of the local hang outs are also filled with jackass from what I’ve seen in the past. The main thing in it all, is I’m scared to death of being alone. Being lonely hurts me more than anything else, and largely in part to all of you. Now how healthy this is I don’t know…. It’s really hard to say. It would all honestly be fine if I knew how to balance my own damn life, but I don’t. I’ve tried making schedules, and imposing limits, but I tend to get lost in whatever I’m doing, and I forget all about them.
So yes, in the end of the day I’m a lazy, slacking, good for nothing, who barley knows how to function at times. And half the time I don’t know what to do about it. Some of you have tried your hardest to help, but thus far it’s all been for naught. It’s not as if my dad can help me. He understands me about as much as he understands why mom left him (Which is pretty little) So I really don’t know… I’m sure I’ll figure something out. I have ambition and desire, even if my drive is shot to hell. And I have a decent intellect for someone who makes so many stupid mistakes. I just don’t know what will go down in the next few months….. But at least with this you all won’t have to wonder, should things turn out poorly for me.
I really hope I haven’t damped your day to much with my issues…
Clow
Now I’m breaking this into two bits. The next sentence or two will be too the point. After that I’m going to vent a little. I warn ahead of time so people who don’t want to deal with it, can get to the point and ignore my whiny bullshit if they so choose ^^;;
Now… I haven’t been worried about this… but as the new year comes ever closer it’s a real fear. I’m a terrible student. And as such through years of getting worse, I still have one or two tough homeschooling courses to finish (Advanced Mathematics (As in above high school norm) and Spanish, lots of damn Spanish) Now I might be able to get myself into shape before new years, I’ve been getting better, but not by a lot…
Basically, I’m gonna get kicked out. Now this will most likely cause me to move in with my mom, and she’ll help me get my life on track…. When she can find time. Heck I would have most likely moved in with her already, if not for a good handful of reasons, the main of which is she is taking care of my slowly dying grandfather. Now what does this mean to all of you? Well should this happen, mom doesn’t have internet, not at Grandpa’s house, and she’s pretty poor overall. I would also most likely be uber buy trying to improve myself all at once. So if I vanish, I’m most likely not dead. I’m just warning really, all my friends at once, in advanced.
VENTING/WHINING/WHATEVERYAWANNACALLIT Starts now
Now for a bit of the venting. Why has it come to this? Well some of it falls on my dad. But I don’t like blaming others for my issues.. Really it was a down hill fall. Somehow I got to be a slacker, and it get worse, and worse and worse. Now it’s second nature. I’ve tried to make steps to stop out this habit but it’s easier said the done. There’s so many distractions, the internet being the main thing I fill my day with.
Why don’t I just unplug it? Because frankly my life sucks, and the internet makes it much less so. I’m in the middle of nowhere, I don’t have a car, and I don’t have anyone to teach me to drive. Most of the local hang outs are also filled with jackass from what I’ve seen in the past. The main thing in it all, is I’m scared to death of being alone. Being lonely hurts me more than anything else, and largely in part to all of you. Now how healthy this is I don’t know…. It’s really hard to say. It would all honestly be fine if I knew how to balance my own damn life, but I don’t. I’ve tried making schedules, and imposing limits, but I tend to get lost in whatever I’m doing, and I forget all about them.
So yes, in the end of the day I’m a lazy, slacking, good for nothing, who barley knows how to function at times. And half the time I don’t know what to do about it. Some of you have tried your hardest to help, but thus far it’s all been for naught. It’s not as if my dad can help me. He understands me about as much as he understands why mom left him (Which is pretty little) So I really don’t know… I’m sure I’ll figure something out. I have ambition and desire, even if my drive is shot to hell. And I have a decent intellect for someone who makes so many stupid mistakes. I just don’t know what will go down in the next few months….. But at least with this you all won’t have to wonder, should things turn out poorly for me.
I really hope I haven’t damped your day to much with my issues…
Clow
look i know you will be alright
and im sorry you are getting thrown out
but im pretty sure you are not a good for nothing
slacker mabey (but arnt we all XD)
now then take care of yourself out there alright?
We're all slackers at some point or another. Do your best to get yourself out of the habit. And maybe not having connection to the web will help. But, just take care as best you can and get it done. There's nothing like working hard at something that is a necessity and accomplishing that goal. You'll feel that great relief once you're done, and I know all of us wish you the best in getting there.
So get to it! :3
got some nasty habits that need breaking. However, if anything, a small time away from the
internet will help to clear your head.
Good luck though. :/