In case anyone was wondering why I vanished off my IMs yesterday (though I doubt anyone did, it wasn't for very long), the thing is... Well yesterday I found out that an old friend of mine (one of my first online RP buddies actually) had passed away. Of lung cancer I didn't even know he had.

It made me realize how many people on my contact lists I know and talk to, but don't really know anything about. It's not that I don't care, I just feel that if they want to tell me, they will. It made it so I couldn't go on my IMs or chatrooms for the whole rest of the day. I just... Couldn't. Because every time I look at the contacts on my list, I notice the over a hundred names that have either blocked me or have vanished.

It was also rather alarming how quickly my bottle of Bailey's came to mind. I understand now what my mother meant when she said I have an addictive personality. It goes with the ADHD apparently. Fortunately my response to depression is lethargy, so I didn't know what was worse: Being depressed and grieving and wanting to drink myself into oblivion, or not caring enough to actually do it.

So, if anyone was wondering where I was... Now you know. I'll be on today for a while probably.