My huge undertaking for  anzel is finally done. It was a rough trip, but we made it, and I've learned a lot about taking on gigantic projects! ^_^ Thankfully, my clients who have been in wait have been nothing but amazingly patient and Anzel himself was really great to work with even when I got so exhausted of working on the same stuff day in and day out. I'll be honest... it's really a horrible feeling when you get to do a job -- a job that makes you money and that is something that you enjoy -- and you wake up not wanting to do it sometimes.

I had that experience as a voice actress for the first time about two years in, and when I realized I was having that feeling one morning as I was getting dressed to go into the studio, I felt like I was going to collapse with guilt. I thought, what the hell gives me the right to NOT want to go in to a job that is awesome in every way? But the truth of the matter is, no matter how awesome it is, work is work, and there will always be a day or two when you just don't feel up to it. There are fewer of them if you love what you do, but they DO happen, and there's nothing you can do but learn from that and try to appreciate what you have in spite of it.

That said, I think that once you get over those days you just come back appreciating what you have all the more, so there's something to be said for that kind of guilt. ;)

Bleh, I promised I wouldn't do another one of my "dear god why doesn't she stop talking" journals, but here I go again. I am working on Koyote and Leilani's piece this morning (my first time touching anything not Raider's-Companion-related in over a month) -- I'd say it's probably 40% colored, but it's got a pretty intense background so it's hard to guess. I'm really getting bad at estimating the time it takes me to finish anything these days! D:

For those of you who've waited this long, and Anzel, too, I honestly don't know what I'd do without you. I really wouldn't have survived the past two months if you hadn't all been so kind. I haven't heard a single harsh or impatient word, no negativity WHATSOEVER. And it's been rough for me, emotionally, for reasons I'm not even sure I can articulate. I haven't been feeling "up to snuff" for a while, but perhaps it's just the stress of having a "big project that needs to get done". Either way, if it wasn't for you guys being so amazingly kind, I don't think I could have gotten through it all.

I'm going to take an hour today and write each of you a personal email, I think, because these heartfelt-yet-general posts always feel like they come out sounding hollow or impersonal no matter how much I try to express my genuine appreciation. But hopefully you understand.

Back to work~

Oh. And since I have eight (eight!!!) shaded inks to post from the Raider's Companion, I'm not going to spam FA with them all at once. I'll post a couple a day over the next week. :)

xo