I'll keep this short. I don't mean to rain on anyone's holiday, but this year will not be fully pleasant for me. I lost my mother this past August. I've had to be a pillar for my dad to lean on for a few months, but just now, when I was in the other room looking for Christmas VHS tapes (good stuff taped off of TV in years past), I found a container with her stuffed animals and all of the emotion I've been avoiding so I could be strong for him all came out at once. I've only had such a violent cry a few times in my life. Luckily Dad was asleep in front of the telly, so he never heard.

I don't know if anyone reads my journals or not, but it makes me a feel a little better to write this down regardless.