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Non-Social
13 years ago
That's what I used to call myself in High School, non-social. I was accused, on numerous occasions, of being anti-social and I would correct folks and tell them they were close but incorrect. Lately, particularly since joining the diaperfur/cub community, I've found myself re-evaluating that statement and I'm worried that it holds true.
I'm weird, or so I feel, about my social life. When it comes to large groups of individuals loosely connected by a theme; work, religion, interest, location, etc; I have a hard time participating on a broad level. I was terrible at keeping up with facebook and twitter, on here I'm almost non-existent, and in any large social setting I just find myself lost.
The only time I get involved is when I establish a single individual stable connection to someone. If I don't focus, very hard, on someone, they seem to almost vanish from my awareness. This is exacerbated when I don't get to see the person in real life.
Now, this may not seem like much of a problem. I just have to go about forming little individual connections with folks who I feel connected to, but I feel like I want more than that. I really do want a community to belong to and be recognized, at least on a lesser degree, within. I want to feel included and informed and not like I'm always just observing other folks social lives instead of having my own. Sure I get involved with small fractures of groups and can keep up with them without too much trouble, but even that will fade off unless circumstance really forces me to stay involved.
I dunno. I suppose I'm wining, first world problems and such.
I'm weird, or so I feel, about my social life. When it comes to large groups of individuals loosely connected by a theme; work, religion, interest, location, etc; I have a hard time participating on a broad level. I was terrible at keeping up with facebook and twitter, on here I'm almost non-existent, and in any large social setting I just find myself lost.
The only time I get involved is when I establish a single individual stable connection to someone. If I don't focus, very hard, on someone, they seem to almost vanish from my awareness. This is exacerbated when I don't get to see the person in real life.
Now, this may not seem like much of a problem. I just have to go about forming little individual connections with folks who I feel connected to, but I feel like I want more than that. I really do want a community to belong to and be recognized, at least on a lesser degree, within. I want to feel included and informed and not like I'm always just observing other folks social lives instead of having my own. Sure I get involved with small fractures of groups and can keep up with them without too much trouble, but even that will fade off unless circumstance really forces me to stay involved.
I dunno. I suppose I'm wining, first world problems and such.
The best sense of belonging I've found is among furries. Going to conventions or whatever is always a great thing for me. It's a place where I feel normal and comfortable...and since they're set up as one big block of time, once in a while, it kindof works for me. Otherwise, I just want some individuals who I can have a deeper connection with.