Heh, nice I can see how that would work... but I don't drink alchaholic beverages... so no chance of getting drunk for me.

i have somewhat of an aversion to drinks 9 i can't stand the taste of them ). And I think I'mabit too scared to go to apub... i wouldn't know what to do there.

Drink cocktails. They taste like fruit juice if you get the right ones.

Most furry friends I make through common interest. Just messaging and talking to people who are into the same things. IRL most of my friends are local furries or friends I've made through work (since work is about all I do XD). My co workers that like to joke and chat about similar things, like gaming and music.

Heh, don't know any local people who even know what a forry ( or even a dragon ) is.

Work wasthe only thing i did too whille i was employed... i hope my next job... what ever it will be, will put me in contact wih some interesting people. It's always so hard finding aproachale people.

As for online... I don't know realy how to do it here either. The few people I do talk with I met randomelly not through a common interest. So I'm stumped.

I'[m sure some people would be interested in talking to you about your art. And if you displayed your common interests to other people, that might help. Honestly most furries talk about porn or their fetishes though, and since you don't really draw porn that might make it harder .X3

Good luck with the job/work though. Hope something good comes your way :)

Thanks... I really hope I do find some new job.

And heh, It's not like i don't have fetishes of my own.

Oh? Do tell! Always interesting to learn about people. XD Maybe that's how you can make some new friends :)

Well it's quite simple really... you might not guess from my gallery, but I'm quite the macrophile. I just never get the concentration to draw anything fetish related.

Well there's lots of macro people around! :D

Whoever I can dig out of the rubble...

Well you're a macrophile... we got that in common... what't's the next step?

Uh...I dunno. I just talk with people. Sometimes things "click" and sometimes they don't. There's no formula that works with every person.

Uh, basically any social situation that isn't online. For me, anyway. I'm a bit of an introvert, so it used to be terrifying - but then I found groups that I could relate to - geeky stuff, gaming stuff, medieval stuff - and I joined up and met heaps of people through those. Ended up going to parties, doing all those things that 'cool' people are supposed to do.

So, yeah! Social things, but social things in a context I'm confortable with. Works for me, anyway :)

and how did you find those "groups"?

well, the first one I joined was through university - a sci-fi/fantasy club thing. Then unigames, same deal.
After that, I just kinda... collected interests. I ended up finding the SCA online - they're my main sourse of offline interaction these days. they're a worldwide organisation, I found out they did stuff near me, so I went along to training one day, found the people were totally awesome and could teach me how to do all manner of weird crafty and fighty thing, so yeah! Also met my husband through them, so... yeah. awesome :P

For me, it's just a matter of having way too many interests, looking up similar folks nearby and conning someone into going with me to meet up with them so I actually end up going :P

Oh it's SOOOOOO much easyer when you don't have to go to a new place alone. It feels so much safer to go with somebody else. Would be a boon to have somebody to introduce one to such places and activities. Saddly if you got nobody to start with... starting out a new activity for a socially awkard persone isn't easy.

Its like asking How and where do you make money, and in my case it matters a lot luck and chance, to find people and get to know them better

You find groups by things that interest you. So if you like games, go find some hobby shops and join in with the games they host there. Host you're own there! Whatever. If you like books, there are book clubs. Enjoy plays and theatre, there are those too. Chances are, with the things you enjoy in life, there is a group out there you can join to partake in that joy. Point is, you gotta get out and go do something.

Furs? I'd try and find some friends you like online and agree to meet at a convention. Hang out with them, get to know them, and their friends, and make new friends. I met a bunch of people at AC, and now I go out with one of them to camp with him and friends! Even have plans on meeting up with them again some time.

Despite what might be said, online friends aren't bad either. However, I'd try to have an activity that you participate in with them. This is again where games come in. You play with each other and interact with each other through games. This is socializing too!

now... as for how to actually socialize?

It sounds stupid but, you be yourself. Do NOT make up stories, most people will see through this and think you're not worth the effort. Do NOT try and one up another's story, as you're not competing. Just, share your experiences with each other. That's the gist of socializing. From experiences, the group derives ideas, and talks about those... Or fantasize about solving various problems... Or just discuss interest. I mean, you basically gotta feel that part out.

And through that, you find people you jive with and you befriend them. It's not like an official paper is handed out. You just talk and hang out more.

Heh, I don't think there's any such things around here. Defenetly no conventions happening in my part of the world as far as I know. Traveling half way across the world for one of those is a bit out of my budget saddly.

And here's where i have a problem with what you said lastly... be myself... whille i don't make a habbit of being a liar and inventing stuff up... the plain truth is that I'm kind of a booring persone. Now I know, there's situations where simply giving your input on something can lead to another and so on... but it is problematic finding people you actually conect with. True I'm probably being too picky in that department.

Sigh...

Well thanks for the suggestions. Will try to... socialise... if and when I find myself in a position to actually do it.

I have to agree with DarckArchon. Luck and chance. I've tried some of things others have suggested, like finding groups with similar interests. However that has rarely seemed to work for me, at least in forming long lasting friendships. Maybe because I wasn't as "hard core" about things as people would want. *shrugs*

I'm also with you on the bar/pub avoidance. I don't go because I don't mix well with alcohol. I go under the table fast XD Also got tired of everyone asking if I wanted a drink every 2 minutes.

I just don't get what the big fuss is about drinking? All of the drinks i tasted ( and I at least tasted a large variety of them ) just taste ranging from bad to horrible. I simply do not understand why they like it so much.

And I hade this concept of "luck" I do not want ot belive in such a metaphisical concept.

Depends on what kind of friends;

Real friends are hard to come by for socially awkward people like myself. I don't go out much, and when I do, I only rarely chat to strangers. Though I must admit I did recently meet about 3 or 4 friends at a concert I went to.

I find it easier to make friends online; it's simpler, less up in my face, and I can hide behind this dragon and make myself seem cooler

And on that note, if you wanna chat some time I'm all for it :D

Heh... there are some people that you just seem to click with and can talk for long periouds of time on just about any topic... but thsoe are damn rare. Then the majority of people you can talk for a few topics then the conversation diees down. It's hard to maintain a convo with them but not impossible. But ultiumatelly if you have to wretch your brains for a suitable topic to talk about with somebody chances are that connection isn't going to last very long.

And sure I wouldn't mind chatting. My contact info is posted on my main aopge. Feel free to contact me.

I sometimes dare to type the name of someone I feel things in common in a messenger window and hopefully I get a reply :)

Well so far I only atempted to find people to talk to through this site. I usually try to Note people I find interesting and ask them if they want to chat... I get varyed results.

Depends on the person or his/her popularity, some just don't reply to notes and say so on their homepage (or not) and some have just too many to reply to all.

I'd though try notes too sometimes.

True... but I suppose even trying to pick up a conversation with a popular persone on such sites seems to be ap ointless endevoure. I mean it seems like all the cards are stacked against you in that regard. So I don't usually try to contact popular people cause I'm fully aware they might never even read notes or messages. ANd even if they do... popular people probably have more contacts then they need already.

Still, i find that one should still try and concentrate on people with similar interests... fetishes in particular have yeaded the best results for me so far regarding people to chat with. Course, finding people that you trust enough to open up to in that fashion is slightly kmore tricky then that.

I managed to friend people I'd never thought I'd become friends with. Yet, I do agree, there are people here I'd just never write to unless they contact me first (yep, happened! :D)

Also, looking for people because they are only popular is prone to failure because you don't really look for the person but for the "fame" surrounding that person. Keeping to people with the same interest can really bring you those popular people to you because you really have something in common, not acting just like a mere fanboy :p

What works for me is hanging on IRC and forums and trying to find the people with similar interests as I have. Maybe every fifth person I speak with turn out to be nice, sometimes even so that you make friends.

I don't think I ever used IRCs. What are those about?

IRC, Internet Relay Chat, it's kind of a chat program pre-dating all the web site chats and IM clients. Basically you connect to a IRC network, join a channel (channel names usually start with #, like #artfeed on Furnet). If you want to give it a try, get mIRC (Don't listen to anyone saying how much mIRC sucks, it's the easiest and the best "newbie" client out there, just don't send color characters for any reason... nobody likes that), later you might want to give Irssi (text-only client) a try.

Get mIRC from mirc.com, find and read some basic IRC tutorials and then you can come to, for example, irc.furnet.org and join a channel which is of your interest. You do this by writing "/join #channelname" without the quotes. All the commands start with a /

For a list of channels you can do a /list (don't try on bigger IRC networks, you'll get removed from server). There are thousands of IRC networks to choose from and millions of channels (thousands per IRC network).

I've had some limited success using online mediums to try and get in touch with people who are local and looking for a friend. Craigslist is among the sites I've used for this purpose, whether it be to find someone to hang out with or a fellow gamer I can actually meet with. Still, there can be risks and drawbacks, just like with any online communications. People learn to become naturally weary of connections made online and with good reason. So far, Craigslist and XBL has helped me bump into, and meet, about 3 or 4 Furs in my county. Sadly, I cannot say the same for meeting other Dragons, to my knowledge I'm the only one inhabiting the Cleveland area....well I do know of one other, but we lost touch some time ago.

For casual friends, I find just going out and being social tends to be the best bet for meeting new people. I've made friends by browsing the game sections of stores, hanging out in hobby shops/other places that interest you, taking a chance by striking up conversation with people who frequent places you visit, fellow classmates, etc. But finding Furs and Dragonkin, in my experience, is considerably more difficult given the naturally introverted aspect of being a Fur or Dragon...not typically something that's broadcast, allowing them to fly under the radar with everyone else.

I, too, have trouble looking for other Dragons and Furs and tend to prefer these groups over casual friends because there tends to be more synergy among them. I feel more 'natural' and less inhibited, being able to express myself more freely without constant worry about how I'm going to be perceived by these behaviors and actions. Alas, I have yet to find a solid method for rooting our fellow Dragons and Furs without tossing myself out there to some degree for them to find. As stated already, luck tends to play a large role here in when, or if, anyone is looking for those scraps you've tossed for them to find online and trace back to you.

Well lieking a game is one thing and it can lead to some minor conversations maybe even some gaming... but It is far deeper when you share a lieking for a mroe extensive topic. Fetishes I noticed tend to be even deeper. If you find somebody you can open up to in that department, and who opens back to you... those seem to be far deeper connections and yeald the best results. The contacts I had for the longest amounts of time have been made through fetishes and talking about them. Odd...

But yeah iut is hard finding people you feel comfortable talking to about such things givven that you need to kind of know that they might have a similar interest. But, like you said, since most people tend to hide that part of their life to better integrate with ortinary people, it can be a bloody challange identifying who you could talk to openly without risk of ridicule.

On a site such as this, you can go around that a bit since most people will either have arts or faforites of their prefered subjects so it IS slightly easyer to pinpoint each persone's likes and dislikes. Still it dosen't seem to make it any easyer to connect with them ( at least for me ).

Lastly... goin out and socialising... I have no idea how to do that... or where to go to socialise. Like I mentioned above in this th4read, I don't mix well at all with bars and joints... they kind of scare me and I don't like alcahol. Can't think of any other place IRL I could go to for socialising.

In some ways you can consider the nature of being a Fur or Dragonkin on the same level of bonding as having, and sharing, an interest in common fetishes with others. In that way, newly acquainted strangers greet each other as friends, have respect for each other and already have the seeds of friendship planted. This also allows better chances of deep friendships to form and flourish. The key reason being, you're able to express a part of yourself that defines you, expressing yourself freely without ridicule.

And yes, sites like these make socializing with others who have similar interests a lot easier, but when they live on the other side of the country, it tends to be difficult to get to know them a bit more personally.

I find myself in much the same boat as you with going out to socialize. Other than bars and other less attractive venues, there isn't a whole lot in the way of going out to meet people without some kind of event being organized. Perhaps if I find anything, or think of anything that you might find useful, I'll send you a PM. In the meantime, perhaps you could try checking in with your local FA account/group  RomanianFurs to see if there are any Furs in your area.

I'm mostly sought out or found, much like a precious gem that has laid hidden from view.
Us silent and compassionate types are rare and often easy to shatter, despite our seemingly strong flow-lines, I rarely interact or speak out unless I feel that something needs to be said or done, so, basically, we're in the same boat, up the creek without a paddle. ^^;

I've joined Second Life a few years back, through friends are indeed hard to find, they are easy to come by but the ones that keep are the real important ones, some of us really go deep into your works, and would support and carry you to which-ever extremes, even if it's out of our reach, and I feel I've lost the reason why I wrote this any how...

In all honesty I'm in the same tight spot you are when it comes to friends who can potentially become close. Sitting here in Texas but having grown up in a completely different culture (dutch) is taking its toll on me and I feel stuck because there just is no "click" that I hope to find with most people here.
I guess the best thing to do on this part is to first ask yourself what you look for in a friendship. What are important characteristics, interests, ideals etc. Then think of where you are most likely to find those important features and then look for the location. I can't really think of anything else at the moment. :/

Well, at least you are not alone though, I've become ffound out of luck i guess, but yet i don't know where i can make friends i tried and tried but well, yet nothing, but since you're looking for one maybe we could try some talking if you'd like to. But whwat i can say to help is simple, try looking for people that you think would match youjr interests or lend you a hand whenever you need one. God luck on your quest :)