Today I was bored with a acquaintance of mine, and he was amusing himself by seeing what was in my wallet. He came upon my drivers license, looked at it, and then held it up to me and said, "wow, you look fit in this picture, you've put on a couple pounds since this was taken!" So I took my ID back and looked at it, and I too saw what he meant. My face was much thinner. I looked very attractive actually. It got me thinking, in the couple years since that picture was taken, Ive put on around thirty pounds, and I really see it now. I don't want to be this me, the chubby me with dark stretch marks and whatnot. I do not want to keep down this path, because I know if I do, in the next couple years it will be another thirty pounds. I'm afraid that the cycle will continue like that. So tonight at about 2:00 am I got the urge to go running, and I took it. I went running, not nearly anything that would be impressive to anyone. But I did it. I went and actually did something today for the first time ever. I have never in my whole life willingly went and ran. I stumbled back into my house and nearly fell into an asthma attack.

The point being is I did this, and I made a decision. I want to be able to maintain myself. I want to not only keep myself at least halfway healthy as far as my heart and fat goes. But I also want to feel attractive again. There was a time when I could take my shirt off and look in the mirror and appreciate myself, but as of lately. I look in the mirror and get depressed about my pants being ill fitting, and my overall dumpy appearance. I know most of you haven't seen anything but that picture on my profile of me, but even since that picture Ive put on fifteen pounds. I will finally feel success once i fall into a habit of actually taking care of myself. I thank you all for supporting me and I really need it now, this is going to be difficult for me.