Christ guys, quit trolling and insulting me, I'm sensitive like that.

YOU IDIOT!! YOU CALL THAT SWIMMING!? DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH!
YOU'RE NOT SOME CAT DROWNING IN A POOL! YOU HAVE TO SWIM!

SWIIIIIIIIIM!!

I'LL SHOW YOU HOW IT'S DONE, SO WATCH ME CLOSELY! YOU SLOW PIECE OF SHIT!

In freestyle, pull your arms out of the water! ELBOWS FIRST!!!

THEN TAKE THAT ARM AND REACH OUT IN FRONT OF YOU... MAKE SURE YOU EXTEND IT ALL OF THE WAY!

DON'T FORGET TO BREATHE! *WHEEZE*

THEN DIP YOUR FINGERS BACK INTO THE WATER AND FOLLOW THROUGH WITH YOUR ENTIRE ARM!

DON'T SLAP THE SURFACE LIKE SOME PATHETIC TWAT! THE WATER RESISTANCE IS HUGE!!!

THEN PART THE WATER WITH ALL OF YOUR STRENGTH!!! HA! THIS IS WHERE YOU ACCELERATE!!! EVERYTHING WILL BE DECIDED BY HOW MUCH STRENGTH YOU PUT INTO THIS ONE MOTION!!!

CRAWL WITH ALL OF YOUR STRENGTH, WITH ALL OF YOUR MIGHT!... AS IF YOUR LIFE DEPENDED ON IT!

GO FOR THE GOLD MEDAL!

UN, DEUX, TROIS!!!

DO IT WITH ME EVERYBODY!

UN, DEUX, TROIS!